Well! The top ten certainly did not disappoint last week. May I say, I thought that was some of the best choreography I’ve seen on the show to date, and the dancers were incredible, too. I am not too sure about the elimination process this season but I have really come to love the all-star top-ten format – it’s so great to see some favourite dancers return, it allows for way more dance numbers per show, and I think the quality is much higher.

Now, to the ranking! I’m going to rank the girls and guys separately again, as it seems to make the most sense this season where there will be two winners. But if I were ranking them together, there would be four girls at the top, and four boys at the bottom. The boys are fine, but the girls are all outstanding and I love them. Can’t there be a four-way tie for first? No? Sigh.

Lindsay. Did I just say that? I did! I thought she was brilliant this week – of course, she had the good fortune to draw Jacob as her partner, who is not only fantastic, but has this magical quality of always making his partners look just as good as he is. Still, Lindsay stayed with him, the piece was sharp and memorable (Spencer Liff is my new favourite choreographer), and most importantly, her past appearances in the bottom allow her to show “growth,” which America loves. She should have no problem sailing into the top 4.

Eliana. She needed a big performance this week, and I’d say she got it. She actually outshined Alex onstage, I thought, and this number – set to a fabulous arrangement of one of my favourite songs, Bang Bang by Nancy Sinatra – was so, so memorable. My one quibble is that we already knew she could do this kind of dancing, and do it well, so it doesn’t show us anything new. However, it was still great, she has a billion watt smile, and I think she deserves to win. I’m positive the judges would save her over any of the remaining women so she should sail into the final two, at least.

Tiffany. She’s turning into quite a little firecracker – I have high hopes for her tonight. As usual, Doriana Sanchez rocked the disco and Tiffany’s number with Brandon was fab. Plus, totally awesome outfit. She’s growing all the time and I think deserves to stay.

Witney. It shames me to put Witney last, after her dreamy number with Nick last week, choreographed by Travis. She could have been sharper and snappier, I thought, but there’s no mistaking the fact that she was hypnotically beautiful to watch. I suspect she’ll be sent home tonight…ah, if only everyone could stay.

As for the boys…

Cyrus. I watched last week’s show with my mom and older sister, and I was all like, “I don’t have a favourite this season,” and they were all like, “DUH, CYRUS.” So apparently, Cyrus has captured the hearts and minds of the nation, which is actually okay with me, because he’s a sweetie and a cool dude. His dancing? Pretty much beside the point. I mean, he was okay and everything last week but he’s no George or Matthew, highly deserving dudes who are now gone. Plus, Jamie (LOVE HER) totally carried his ass. Still, if he wins the whole shebang, I won’t be sad.

Will. Oh, how I am trying to like Will. I am TRYING. However. He was totally outshone by Kathryn last week – he has the goofy, fun spirit for Bollywood but none of the required snap. My mom and sister think he’s adorably cute. I am apparently the only one on the planet who is not charmed by Will. But I am trying. GAH.

Chehon. First let me say, I ADORED the choreography of the Dave Scott number he did with Lauren last week. However, his dancing was just not loose and groovy enough. Lauren, who I usually do not like, totally rocked it, she was flowing and jamming all over the place. Chehon, however, struggled. I love what he can do but he needs to work on his versatility.

Cole. Wow, from first last week to the bottom of the pack this week. Between an injury that kept him out of the group number (but OMG, I died to see Tyce dancing, he was actually fantastic, I thought), to pulling Anya as his partner, it’s a tough week for him to win votes. I think Anya and Allison are the hardest all-stars to get, as they are both so incredibly magnetic that their partner just disappears, and sadly, Cole was no exception. Speaking of Anya, I thought she was showing a little weakness this time, not quite as snapping and snazzy as usual – but still so, so charismatic. I wonder, though, if her time is waning and we will see Witney or Lindsay appearing as ballroom all-stars next year.

And speaking of next year, here’s some all-stars I want to see back: Janeane, Sasha, Melanie, Sabra, and Phillip Chbeeb (known simply as CHBEEB in my house). Please, Nigel?

Hard to believe, but summer is almost over, school is starting soon, and Dance! Show! is already up to the top 10. I blinked, and two months went by, how did that happen?

It’s a shortened season this year, which means that the top 10 haven’t had as many weeks to develop their personas and their skills as in previous years. That’s why it may seem to you (as it does to me) that this is one the weakest top tens in recent memory. Usually when we hit the top 10, there’s already some frontrunners and I feel somewhat confident in ranking them, top to bottom. This year, when I gave it some (SOME – hahaha!) thought, I found it really hard to believe that the people I have near the top are actually the best this season has to offer. There just haven’t been any real standouts for me this season, and as a result, people are voting on sheer popularity of backstory, which is never a good thing.

Not that I will be stopped from ranking them, no, not at all! Here we go!

Cole. Here’s a prime example of how clueless I am this season. Cole has had a few real standout performances, his style is unique, and he’s very charismatic. But he’s also a little intense at times, and not in a good way; also, I find that he is very internal when performing and thus does not always click with his partner. And yet, I feel like he’s both the best man left, and the most popular man left. Am I right? NO IDEA. Side note: his performance last week in Mia’s addiction number was amazing, he was the only one in the entire competition to really transcend the original. So good.

Audrey. I am still suffering from the delusion that Audrey and Tiffany are the same person. In their interviews they are so identical in look and personality that I can barely tell them apart. And yet – when they dance, they are both so, so good. I am putting Audrey above Tiffany only because I think her performances with Matthew, particularly the Travis/Titanic one, has made her stand out more in voters’ minds. But really, they are both great.

Tiffany. See above, re: Audrey. I personally feel that Tiffany is actually better. I think she can really blow this competition apart if she has a good couple of weeks – or, she could total wallflower and vanish from our memories with a whimper. Who can say?

Chehon. Chehon’s last day audition dance in Las Vegas will live forever in my memory, and apparently, in the memories of the American public as well. He’s been doing well in the competition but Mary hit the nail on the head last week when she said he needs to let go more, just be a little freer and not quite so perfectly placed. His dazzling strength and partnering skills are sure to keep him in the mix in the weeks to come. He reminds me a lot of SYTYCD Canada’s Season 3 winner, Denys, so he could go all the way here.

Cyrus. Oh boy, what to say about Cyrus. He’s the weakest dancer left. And yet…so magical when he does his own style, and there is a lot to be said about the way he continues to just throw himself into every dance with abandon and commitment. Of all the dancers, he had the most growing to do, and thus, continues to show the most improvement week to week. That goes a long way with voters, and add to that his great smile and his mind-blowing solos and his positive attitude, and you have one popular guy. In the past, popular guys like this have been voted off in the number five position, so here he is on my list. And yet, Russell won in Season 6 with a very similar backstory and so…anything could happen here. As an aside, the judges were a little down on his performance last week and of course, he’s no Twitch, but I thought he actually did a great job of capturing the character and deserved more praise.

George. I adore George. I’m so happy the judges saved him last week, I thought for sure they would go for Matthew (who seemed like such a genuinely nice guy, and also, would have given them lots of performance choices for the tour with Audrey). I think George is probably the best male dancer left, really, but I can’t put him anywhere near the top of the list because he’s been in the bottom 3 for a couple of weeks now (WHY, AMERICA, WHY?). He and Tiffany had my most favourite Mia number last week and George, in particular, did me proud, I thought he smashed it. I hope he gets a really great number this week (please not ballroom please not ballroom) so everyone can revel in his glory.

Witney. I like Witney fine but I feel like I’m still waiting for her breakout moment. Every week she’s really, really good, and yet unmemorable. I thought she was the best girl last week – I mean, it’s pretty hard to screw up the bench number (that choreography is fabulous), but she did a really good job with the characterization, too. I am guessing that she will be getting ballroom next week (helloooooo, Pasha) and possibly every week after that so the judges can defend having ballroom on this show at all. She seems fairly popular, and with some good performances she might turn out to be the top female. Gah, I have no idea.

Lindsay. I feel as though Lindsay has shown more growth than Witney so far this season. Maybe she’s just had more variety in her draws, and maybe it’s because she has to do twice as much work to make the chemistry happen with the chilly Cole. Also, although I adore her, I thought she was weaker than Witney initially – but now I am not so sure. I think she could really dazzle us with the right all-star partner – and I want to see her go far. Sadly, her past appearances in the bottom 3 have possibly marked her for early elimination. At least she made the top 10, which I felt was the right choice, much as I love love loved Amelia.

Eliana. Eliana is my favourite dancer this season and but I feel like she has not lived up to her potential, which is a fatal problem on reality shows. People like to see growth, change, overcoming adversity. I’m quite anxious to see how she will do with a partner other than Cyrus; I’d love to see her do some contemporary and let her shine in her own style. More than the other girls, though, I feel like her dance life is on the line – she needs a big number next week or she may be in danger.

Will. You could have knocked me over with a feather when Will was ushered into the top 10. I called him in week one to be the first person going home. WTF, America? I just don’t get it. I thought he had a nice spark with Amelia but in general, I find his dancing sloppy and weak; he has neither the power nor the personality of the other boys. He’s like a nice cuddly teddy bear, but what shines on this show is lithe, strong racehorses. There’s very few people in the top 10 that I am passionate about protecting, but Will is the only one who I think actually deserves to be bottom three next week. We’ll see, America, we’ll see.

I’m sure next week’s top 8 ranking will be completely different. I admit, I am absolutely making things up this year. Not that that will stop me at all. No, not at all. See you next week!

This is always the time on So You Think You Can Dance when I start to get impatient for the finale. The Top 4 show is almost anticlimatic – the final four have so much dancing to do that they often get tired and don’t turn in their best work. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I thought one of the “best of the season” dances came from the final four show.

Not that you shouldn’t watch it, or anything. Magic moments are always possible.

So! This past week saw the elimination of (SHOCKER) Caitlynn and Ricky. Actually I did think it was maybe close between Tadd and Ricky, at least I would have, had I not steered America in the right direction via my SuperBlog. In fact, now I’m almost afraid to rank because the power is too awesome. How can I ensure that I will not become corrupted? HOW??

And yet, I do it all for you.

Melanie – Still hanging on to the top spot, although shakily. Sasha is breathing down her neck, nipping at her heels, chomping at the bit. To Melanie’s credit, in both her numbers with Twitch and Tadd, I only basically watched her, and her solo was great. But having another Big Moment in the top 4 show would really help sew it up for her.

Sasha – Sasha is not going down without a fight, and she fought hard this week. Her “wall” number with Kent was perfectly suited to her strengths, and Kent was such a good match for her – I really wonder how amazing she could have been had she not been saddled with Alexander in the first half of the season. I thought her solo was great. We will not mention the waacking. No, we will not.

Marko – He’s an amazing dancer, a sweet guy, and great partner. But I feel as though there’s some sparkle that has been missing these past couple of weeks. In both his routines this week (with Janette, SQUEAL, and Caitlynn), he kind of served as backdrop, and his solo was same-old, same-old. I have to say I am really looking forward to seeing him reunited with Melanie in the final four show – I hope to see some of the old magic return.

Tadd – Still with the crap solos, then with the amazing dances. WHAT? UP? I guess he just isn’t much of a choreographer. I know the judges were lukewarm on the Sonia number with the chandelier that he danced with Ellenore (SQUEAL), but man, I LOVED IT. So unique and exciting and different. I get what Lil C was saying about their movement needing to have more flow, but still, AMAZING. One of my favourites from the season but I doubt it will make the finale because Sonya has done about a million numbers this season.

Also, did anyone else give a big “who?” when Ricky’s all-star partner from last week was announced as Jaimie? It was the first time ever that they’ve had an “all star” on this show that I totally, totally did not remember at all. I just went and looked her up and it turns out she was Hok’s partner, the one who did the famous Hummingbird And Flower routine in Season 3, choreographed by Wade Robson. And yes, she was a super amazing dancer, and I’m embarrassed I forgot about her. But also, I guess she didn’t have quite the personality to stand out as a timeless star of the show. Know what I mean?

I wonder which of all these all stars will be included on the tour – likely they will announce that next week. I personally would recommend taking Twitch, Pasha, Neil, Kent, Lauren Froderman, Chelsie Hightower (if you can get her), Allison, and Ellenore (only because I LOVE HER).

In related all-star news, I absolutely swooned then wept with joy watching Lauren and Kent do the “prom” number on the results show, that Travis choreographed for them last season. It was just SO GOOD. And it left me wondering if I’ve really had any strong, emotional reactions like that this season – at the moment only my delight over the Another One Bites The Dust number comes to mind. I’ve read elsewhere that this season has been weak and forgettable – do you agree? What were your stand out numbers of the season? How do you think this season will stack up against others?

I think that really begs the question (or begs the blog?)…how do the seasons rank in general? I smell next week’s post!

So You Think You Can Dance is down to the top 8 dancers, and this is only the second time I have blogged about it. I hang my head in shame. But, better late than never, I say, so let’s jump in!

First let me say, it is very distracting having the Canadian version running concurrently with the American version. Usually they don’t start the Canadian one until the American one is winding down, and that’s a good thing – even I only have time for so much dance show. I’ve been storing up the Canadian ones but the few that I have seen – I’m up to the point where they choose the top (SPOILER) 22 dancers – make me unhappy. I think Canada has some amazing dancers, especially in ballroom and hip hop, but having the two shows on at the same time only highlights the flaws of the Canadian version, namely: the judges suck. Just had to get that off my chest.

And speaking of judging, what do you think of the guest judges on Dance! Show! America! this year? Kristen Chenowith, Neil Patrick Harris, and Jesse Ferguson are basically my dream dinner guests (along with, of course, Ken Jennings), but it’s hard to take either their positive or negative critiques seriously. I usually fast forward through Nigel’s comments (please, please, give up on the terrible puns, dude, FOR THE LOVE), and also Mary’s screeching (although truthfully, she has toned it down this season – I am not missing the HOT TAMALE TRAIN at all). So normally I would only pay attention to the third judge, and when that third judge is Lil C or Travis (wasn’t he so good?) or Mia, then AWESOME, but when it’s some random celebrity, then I don’t know what.

I say that, but still being the third judge is my dream job and you can BET I would expect people to take me seriously, so, um, guess I should maybe just chill. Neil, Jesse, Kristin – love you, call me!

(Carmen Miranda, I invite you to follow me on Twitter. That is all.)

And before we get to the nitty gritty, just wanted to invite y’all to comment on the state of the choreographers this season. There are so many new faces, I can’t even keep them all straight. Most, I think, have not distinguished themselves as unique or original or interesting – this week’s group number was terrible, I thought, and had me wailing for Mia (has she done some Canadian group numbers? Don’t tell me! Or tell me! Either way! I’m excited!). There’s this one hip-hop guy, the one who did Jess and Clarice’s number from last week that I think is good, and there was this one contemporary guy, also with Clarice and Jess who instead of doing the flowing look-away-far thing did a sharper small movement thing, know that guy? That was cool. The others are meh.

So! On to the dancing! I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I’m heartbroken that Clarice went home last week, but at least she did it with all the grace and cheer I’ve come to expect. She totally got screwed with the Bollywood, BTW – has there been a half-decent Bollywood number since the original Katee/Joshua one way back in, what was that, season 4? I would rather have DISCO on the show again, for Pete’s sake.

As for Mitchell, he is a sweetheart but I did feel he was the weakest of the remaining men (not that that’s an insult, everyone left is great), so I was okay with that one. Although I will mention that again, Broadway is the kiss-of-death style – SO hard to get right. Almost impossible, really, unless your name is Jess.

On to the remaining dancers…let’s rank!

1. Melanie. Everyone loves her. I love her too. She gets the biggest cheers and is the front runner. But her number this week with Pasha was very subtle – it was only Mary’s comments on what made the quality of dancing so good that made me appreciate it, but I still didn’t have an emotional response. I thought Pasha had more of a connection with Caitlynn (nature of the choreography and type of dance, really). So Melanie showed this week that she has no problem pulling in the votes with a so-so dance, and yet, I think if she wants to win she will have to really wow us with something special, and soon. She needs to show that even without Marko, she has the stuff. (Also, personal message to Mel: do not, repeat, DO NOT, break into “funky moves” after your serious 30 second solo is complete. NO.)

2. Marko. I thought his was basically invisible in his number with Chelsea Hightower. Man, do I EVER love Chelsea, and my eyes never left her once. Was there even a guy on stage with her? I watched this number THREE TIMES, and every single time I just could not force myself to look at Marko. Like Melanie, he easily got through based on his overall popularity, but I hope he gets contemporary next week so we can really see him shine. (Also, please give Chelsea her own show.)

3. Sasha. 100% converted to Sasha fan this week. Well, maybe 90%. 85%. Whatever – she was amazing with Twitch, FINALLY given a partner who was her equal in terms of power and strength. This was one of the few numbers where I watched the all-star and competitor evenly – they seemed like they’d been dancing together for years. The number had great, great choreography, was danced just SO well. One of my favourites from this season so far.

4. Jess. Seriously? Seriously. Jess has worked hard to overhaul his image. I still think of him as a little brat, but there is no denying that his solos are magical, and he seems to have won over the American public. His number this week with Kathryn was, frankly, terrible – so awkward, no connection, and Kathryn outshone him all over the freakin’ place. And yet, he beat Ricky, RICKY, in the votes. I do not support or agree with this ranking but at this point, I think it’s quite likely that Jess will pull through to the final four. SERIOUSLY.

5. Caitlynn. I really, realy like Caitlynn. Am I the only one? I totally did not get the judges’ comments this week about how she has “danced young” in the past – do they not remember that chairs number by Stacey Tookey, in which she showed great emotional depth? The Janis Joplin number by Travis in which she conveyed Super Sexy just by walking around? In any case, her number with Pasha was passionate and powerful, and I’m so glad it translated into votes for her. (Aside: Did you know that Melanie LaPatin has a column over on Entertainment Weekly’s website? Her column from last week picked Caitlynn and Pasha’s tango as the top number of the week. It’s well worth the read for her critiques – what an amazing guest judge she would be – and also for a fascinating insider look at what the choreographers do all week.) Anyway, I’d love to see Caitlynn make the top 4 but I don’t think she can beat Melanie and Sasha in either votes or with sympathy from the judges (who, I’d like to point out, are still handling the eliminations – don’t they usually go with straight up America Votes at this time? WTF?).

6. Ricky. I think Ricky should be higher. He has really blossomed these past few weeks and shown growth, which few of the other dancers can claim. He danced with Allison this week and I love her, I think she is just magnetic on the stage, and although it’s true I watched her more than him, I felt his dark presence on the stage and thought he did an excellent job with his character. Now if anyone “dances young,” I’d say it’s Ricky, so I hope he gets something even meatier next week to sink his teeth into. I’d love to see him make top 4, I think he is more versatile than Jess and HOLY MOLEY, his solos are DA BOMB.

7. Tadd. I am so torn about Tadd. I think his solos are pretty crappy and he tends to get votes based more on his personality, his mugging, and his abs than his actual dancing. But his number with Comfort last week? Truly amazing. I re-watched that one more than any other and the detail involved, the sheer number and complexity of the movement, is mind boggling. Not only did Tadd totally hit it, he was bang on with the music, not just going through the motions but actually bringing the swagger. It’s an impressive feat and I’m sure no other male dancer could have done it this season. But still…those solos. And I don’t know, the mugging. I just don’t know. I will say this: I would be very surprised if he makes the top 4. And yet, he seems really popular. Why, hello fence, mind if I just sit here a little while?

8. Jordan. This week I finally understood for the first time all season why the judges think she is a good dancer. Her number with Brandon (BRANDON!!! SO AMAZING!!!) was actually pretty good. I didn’t feel the connection between the two one little bit, but I will say that Jordan’s technique was impressive and she was completely committed. And yet…I don’t know, there is some sort of spark missing when I watch her dance, I don’t get the same emotional pull that I do from the others. And her solos feel generic and repetitive. Given that she was in the bottom two this week even though she danced well and in her own style, I’m guessing she will be in trouble again next week.

Join me next week when we start to talk winner. Also, I will endeavor to actually learn the names of all the new choreographers and chat about them. Choreographers, you’ve been WARNED.

It is time. I can keep quiet no longer. Let us talk…Dance Show.

It feels like a long time since I was this invested in So You Think You Can Dance. The last few seasons have been good, with good dancing, but for some reason I just haven’t felt the passion. This season? I cried when the first people had to go home. CRIED. Can’t even THINK about Missy right now without tearing up.

Don’t feel bad for me though – that’s a GOOD thing. Oh Dance Show, how I have missed you.

Let’s chat about the couples still remaining, shall we?

Top of the Heap

Melanie and Marko: I still can’t believe they matched these two up – talk about power couple. I loved Melanie the minute I saw her and she has not disappointed. Marko is an amazing dancer, an amazing partner, and a sweetheart with a golden backstory – I call him for the eventual win (you heard it here first, kids). If they both don’t make it to the final four I will be very sad indeed.

Caitlynn and Mitchell: Here’s the thing – I never liked either of these two. Caitlynn seemed so generic. Mitchell got the “I’m injured wah wah wah” pass on the first week and I hate that. And yet…they have completely won me over. I adored their samba this week (Jean-Marc, you foxy minx, call me!) and I simply cannot fathom why they ended up in the bottom three. Hopefully America gets its voting ass together OR ELSE. Speaking of which, I hear you can vote online now, is that still just for Americans? Don’t you think that is RATHER COUNTRY-IST, Nigel?

Ashley and Chris: Their jailhouse routine from two weeks ago was my most favourite one to date. I think Ashley is a lovely dancer, but it’s Chris who really impresses me – I think he has shown the most growth of any dancer on this show. He’s exactly the kind of B-boy who will dazzle and amaze us with his charisma and ability to do foreign styles – and then get voted out in sixth place like every other B-boy I Have Loved. I get why they were in the bottom three last week – Sonya, experiment on OTHER COUPLES, please – but if you rewatch their bizarre zombie number, I think you will be impressed with the sharpness and originality of their movement. They both deserve top ten, I hope they make it.

Middle of the Road

Ryan and Ricky: Meh. These two are both pretty good in their own styles but they have yet to find the magic – they haven’t exactly clicked and they haven’t dazzled me, either. Ryan I feel is guilty of Hairography – without her blond tresses flying around, her dancing is only so-so. Ricky is SO great in his own style, but in the other styles – meh. I did like their contemporary routine with the scarf tying them together but they’ll really have to pull something amazing out of the bag next week to impress me.

Clarice and Jess: Clarice is actually my favourite female dancer (and this amid a field of amazing, amazing female dancers). She’s got the snap and the personality. I think she’s kind of getting screwed over by a poor matchup. There’s no question that Jess is simply gorgeous as a dancer – probably the best dancer on the show – but he has a major, major personality problem. He comes off as egotistical and obnoxious and that is never good on a reality show when you need the votes to get by. When they dance apart, they are so bang on it takes my breath away – but when they come together, Jess seems annoyed that he has to deal with another person (“IT’S MY SPOTLIGHT, DAMMIT”) and Clarice seems like she doesn’t trust Jess to catch her/lift her/notice she is also in the number. They need to get it together (ha! pun intended!) to move forward, although I’m sure the judges will protect Jess until at least the top ten (please, please do not screw over Clarice).

All Biology, No Chemistry

Jordan and Tadd: I really, really, do not like Jordan. She’s a one-trick pony and if she makes any more Sexy Faces during her numbers, I am going to have to punch her. I think she is a sub-par dancer and has not shown either versatility or flexibility. Tadd – now I have to admit, I am not objective. He’s my cougar-dancer for the season – last week when he danced mostly shirtless I…basically did not notice anything else about the number. I think he’s so charismatic and there’s a chance he could really shine with a different partner (CLARICE, I’m just saying).

Sasha and Alexander: I really, really, do not like Alexander. He seems perfectly nice and his technique is of the highest quality. But he is such a wet noodle on stage – no personality at all. He’s just blandness personified. Sasha is also not one of my favourites, for the opposite reason. She has no sense of humour, and attacks every number like it is LIFE OR DEATH. If she chews any more scenery, she’ll surely bloat up like a balloon. Sasha might work if given a powerful, passionate partner (although I really can’t imagine who – maybe Marko is the only contender), but Alexander isn’t ever going to do any of the ladies any favours. They aren’t working, and it’s not good.

I admit I am concerned that two of the three I picked as the top couples have been in the bottom three…while both of my bottommost couples have been given the full pass free ride. It’s very worrisome, America – I’m counting on you now, do not let me down. I’d like to see Jordan and Alexander go home this week, so make it happen.

See you next week!

I like to play a game during Dance! Show! results show, and that’s Guess The Opening Number Choreographer. I think I have been watching dance show for too long now, since I almost always get it right. This week, angels + Sting = Mia, no doubt about it. And saaaaay whaaat…NAILED IT.

But my enjoyment of the piece was totally ruined when I realized it was Ade playing Centre Angel. No other all stars were dancing, and I really doubted that Mia looked at her six-men-two-women ratio and thought to herself, “You know what this thing needs? One more guy!”

So, yeah, I guessed about Alex. So heartbreaking. I really think he could have won this season. I’m not sure what will happen next year – I kind of feel like this was his chance, and now it’s over, and that’s it. So we’ll see if he even bothers to come back for yet another season. I must say, my interest in this season has taken a sudden nose dive. Not that I’ll stop watching or anything, though.

Seven remain…there can be only one! Let’s rank!

1. ALEX FOREVER. Just kidding.

1. Lauren. Okay, even I am skeptical about this one. Can a woman really win in this Season Of Men? Still, Lauren had such an amazing week. She rocked it with Pasha; her number with Kent was my favourite of the week. She’s growing all the time, which is fabulous for this show – America loves growth. Can she actually pull off the votes? Maybe…and I kind of hope so.

2. Kent. Kent also had a good week, holding his own quite well with Comfort (heavens, the best and possibly only reason to have this whole stupid all stars season is that we get to see Comfort do hip-hop like, 10 times over), and clicking with Lauren. But Kent’s problem seems to be that he is stalling at a certain level – he started out well, he’s still doing well, but he’s not producing either a) growth or b) mind-blowing moments like Alex’s dance with Twitch last week. I’m not sure what he can do differently, but his story arc is stagnating and that’s not good.

3. Jose. Jose was not that great this week. I liked him okay with all star Lauren (Lauren! Good for a second week in a row! What’s come over me?), but he didn’t quite make it good with Billy. SUCH an insult to the Cheesman. Don’t take it personally, Sean! We still love you! Anyway, I have to say that after weeks of weak dancing, Jose still manages to avoid the bottom three every time, so…I guess America loves him. A lot. And you know what’s weird? I kind of do, too. I totally get what the judges mean when they say he has heart and modesty and joy in his dancing, and it just makes you enjoy his performances without worrying about the technicalities. I would be disappointed if he won, but I don’t mind him sticking around for a while, even at the expense of (technically) better dancers.

4. Adechike. I find it really hard to get a read on how America feels about Adechike. On one hand, the judges are always really harsh on him and he seems like a second-tier dancer. On the other, even after a week of ho-hum dancing and severe criticism, he still gets the votes. So, are we looking at the love of a few dedicated voters that will carry him through to top-4 only, or a massive affection for the underdog from all of America that will take him right to the top? I need to see my bookie. In other news, what was up with that gold dress on Courtney this week? I have seen uglier. ON PIGS.

5. Robert. Avoids the bottom two even when given the dreaded quickstep, and even though he and Kathryn had a few missteps during their Barbie and Ken program. I didn’t feel the chemistry between him and Kathryn or him and Ashley, and yet, this is the one week he doesn’t get punished for it. America, you are one fickle lady. Despite his bad week and sometimes annoying personality, I do think Robert is an amazing dancer and does not deserve to go home any time soon. So hopefully this is a turning point for him, and he’ll be moving up the charts next week.

6. Ashley. I’d love to put her at the bottom, but despite landing in the bottom two this week, I’m still not convinced that America is listening to me. She was fine in her hip-hop this week, but frankly, I couldn’t really concentrate on her dancing because WHAT UP WITH THOSE PANTS? Seriously, she looked like she’d had a giant poop. Do ninjas really dress like that? Or hip-hop dancers, for that matter? Wardrobe FAIL. Anyway, as expected her solo on results night was generic and forgettable, and she was basically wallpaper during her number with Robert, so in short, she is still not my favourite. If she ends up in the bottom three with two boys, though, it’s a boy who will be going home for sure, so she’s likely be safe for yet another week, at least.

7. Billy. Most likely to go home this week – he keeps landing at the bottom by votes, and his solos are still kind of confounding and busy and all over the place. His Broadway number to Macavity from Cats was actually my second favourite of the entire week – I thought he really held his own and rocked the house. Plus I love that song. Plus, I squealed like a child given a bowl of ice cream when I saw Katy – did you? Sir Monkeypants was all, “It’s a dance show,” and I was all, “KATY KATY KATY BOING BOING BOING.” Seriously, I need medical help. Anyway, as I said above, his number with Jose was just awful. They both looked so uncomfortable dancing together – it was beyond lack of chemistry and into I-don’t-like-you-dude. He just doesn’t seem to be finding a niche with the viewers. If he gets ballroom next week – which he is way overdue for – he’s a goner. So sad! Billy is a sweetie.

I must add that I am loving the all star matchups they are popping into the results show, by the way. So far we’ve seen Mark and Courtney, and Pasha and Anya. Who is left to be showcased? Obviously they should get Twitch and Comfort to do their robot number to “Forever” which is sheer legend. Neil and Lauren were original partners back in Season 3, so they probably have a couple of routines they could do – one by Wade Robson in which Neil is a vampire chasing Lauren in a white dress stands out. That leaves Ade, Dominic, Kathryn, and Allison/Katy, all of whom are from different seasons. Who do you think should dance with whom? And would you like to see them do original numbers, or have one of the all stars fill in a missing part – Allison with Ade on the breast cancer number, say, or Dominic taking one of Legacy’s roles in one of his fantastic numbers with Kathryn? Actually, I think I just answered my own question – bring it, Dance Show!