It is time. I can keep quiet no longer. Let us talk…Dance Show.

It feels like a long time since I was this invested in So You Think You Can Dance. The last few seasons have been good, with good dancing, but for some reason I just haven’t felt the passion. This season? I cried when the first people had to go home. CRIED. Can’t even THINK about Missy right now without tearing up.

Don’t feel bad for me though – that’s a GOOD thing. Oh Dance Show, how I have missed you.

Let’s chat about the couples still remaining, shall we?

Top of the Heap

Melanie and Marko: I still can’t believe they matched these two up – talk about power couple. I loved Melanie the minute I saw her and she has not disappointed. Marko is an amazing dancer, an amazing partner, and a sweetheart with a golden backstory – I call him for the eventual win (you heard it here first, kids). If they both don’t make it to the final four I will be very sad indeed.

Caitlynn and Mitchell: Here’s the thing – I never liked either of these two. Caitlynn seemed so generic. Mitchell got the “I’m injured wah wah wah” pass on the first week and I hate that. And yet…they have completely won me over. I adored their samba this week (Jean-Marc, you foxy minx, call me!) and I simply cannot fathom why they ended up in the bottom three. Hopefully America gets its voting ass together OR ELSE. Speaking of which, I hear you can vote online now, is that still just for Americans? Don’t you think that is RATHER COUNTRY-IST, Nigel?

Ashley and Chris: Their jailhouse routine from two weeks ago was my most favourite one to date. I think Ashley is a lovely dancer, but it’s Chris who really impresses me – I think he has shown the most growth of any dancer on this show. He’s exactly the kind of B-boy who will dazzle and amaze us with his charisma and ability to do foreign styles – and then get voted out in sixth place like every other B-boy I Have Loved. I get why they were in the bottom three last week – Sonya, experiment on OTHER COUPLES, please – but if you rewatch their bizarre zombie number, I think you will be impressed with the sharpness and originality of their movement. They both deserve top ten, I hope they make it.

Middle of the Road

Ryan and Ricky: Meh. These two are both pretty good in their own styles but they have yet to find the magic – they haven’t exactly clicked and they haven’t dazzled me, either. Ryan I feel is guilty of Hairography – without her blond tresses flying around, her dancing is only so-so. Ricky is SO great in his own style, but in the other styles – meh. I did like their contemporary routine with the scarf tying them together but they’ll really have to pull something amazing out of the bag next week to impress me.

Clarice and Jess: Clarice is actually my favourite female dancer (and this amid a field of amazing, amazing female dancers). She’s got the snap and the personality. I think she’s kind of getting screwed over by a poor matchup. There’s no question that Jess is simply gorgeous as a dancer – probably the best dancer on the show – but he has a major, major personality problem. He comes off as egotistical and obnoxious and that is never good on a reality show when you need the votes to get by. When they dance apart, they are so bang on it takes my breath away – but when they come together, Jess seems annoyed that he has to deal with another person (“IT’S MY SPOTLIGHT, DAMMIT”) and Clarice seems like she doesn’t trust Jess to catch her/lift her/notice she is also in the number. They need to get it together (ha! pun intended!) to move forward, although I’m sure the judges will protect Jess until at least the top ten (please, please do not screw over Clarice).

All Biology, No Chemistry

Jordan and Tadd: I really, really, do not like Jordan. She’s a one-trick pony and if she makes any more Sexy Faces during her numbers, I am going to have to punch her. I think she is a sub-par dancer and has not shown either versatility or flexibility. Tadd – now I have to admit, I am not objective. He’s my cougar-dancer for the season – last week when he danced mostly shirtless I…basically did not notice anything else about the number. I think he’s so charismatic and there’s a chance he could really shine with a different partner (CLARICE, I’m just saying).

Sasha and Alexander: I really, really, do not like Alexander. He seems perfectly nice and his technique is of the highest quality. But he is such a wet noodle on stage – no personality at all. He’s just blandness personified. Sasha is also not one of my favourites, for the opposite reason. She has no sense of humour, and attacks every number like it is LIFE OR DEATH. If she chews any more scenery, she’ll surely bloat up like a balloon. Sasha might work if given a powerful, passionate partner (although I really can’t imagine who – maybe Marko is the only contender), but Alexander isn’t ever going to do any of the ladies any favours. They aren’t working, and it’s not good.

I admit I am concerned that two of the three I picked as the top couples have been in the bottom three…while both of my bottommost couples have been given the full pass free ride. It’s very worrisome, America – I’m counting on you now, do not let me down. I’d like to see Jordan and Alexander go home this week, so make it happen.

See you next week!