Run Turtle Run

On July 30, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead8 Comments

Queen Charming, my backyard-neighbour, is a personal trainer. She’s one fit lady.

A few months ago I was whining about how out of shape I am, and how hard it is to get motivated to work out when I’m just so darn tired all the time. And Queen Charming was all, “Hey, have I got the event for you! I’m running the Army Run in September, and you should run with me. It’s only 5K!”

Then I had a momentary break from reality and during the black out, I actually signed up.

Even though there is no chance that Queen Charming and I will actually run together — I’m sure she’ll finish in half the time I will. And also not to mention that even if we could run together, there’s no way it’d be a social occasion for a little chit-chat. We’d be like:

QC: It’s such a beautiful day.
Me: grunt
QC: I got this new water bottle, on sale at The Running Room.
Me: gasp gasp
QC: What do you think of the new Season 6 of So You Think You Can Dance?
Me: quietly dies

So yes, not quite such a gal pal bonding moment.

Anyway, I’m registered, and there’s a free t-shirt on the line, so I’m going to show up. Dammit.

Even though it’s at eight in the morning.

Even though I have Gal Smiley’s birthday party the day before, an outdoor party where I will be entertaining eight children.

Even though the evening before, I have girl’s night poker, which means crazy snacking and staying up late and probably pulling a muscle from laughing so hard.

I was out for a training run last night, about 3K of run a minute, then walk a minute. It was hard work, but I made it, and I feel good about it. Not too tired today, either (thank you, caffeine). So it seems like…I could do this. I could make it.

Or maybe I’ll just get the t-shirt and then take a cab.

I’ll let you know if I survive.

I Want To Be a Mommyblogger

On July 29, 2009July 29, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead11 Comments

Last year after BlogHer ’08, I read post after post about what an amazing, enriching experience it was. I immediately made it my goal to make BlogHer ’09.

Unfortunately, as the date grew closer, I realized it just wasn’t going to happen. Financially speaking we just could not swing it, and it was just too big of a time commitment for our family right now. So I had to sigh and let it go and think about other local projects instead.

Now that BlogHer ’09 is over, I’m again reading dozens of posts written by bloggers who were there. But this year’s set of entries are set to a very different tune. People are still saying that, for the most part, they had a nice time. But there are many, many comments that disparage the “mommybloggers.” Apparently, some bloggers — identified as mommybloggers — were aggressive in the way the hounded the BlogHer company sponsors for freebies and swag, and it was embarrassing to more established bloggers who felt that the professional nature of the conference was compromised by their behaviour.

In fact, I’ve read post after post by bloggers who have children who claim that they wish to be completely divorced from the term “mommyblogger,” that they will never refer to themselves as that again. The term has been tainted by the product-grabbing, greedy “moms” in the crowd, and now no one wants to be called a “mommy.” It’s degrading and insulting, apparently.

I’d like to just say this: I’d love to be a mommyblogger.

By that I mean this: I’d love to be a professional blogger who gets paid to write, while being a mom at the same time. I’d love to be able to integrate my home life with some kind of work. I’d like to contribute to the household income while doing something I love.

I don’t do any product reviews on this site (mostly because I’m too lazy and it isn’t fun for me, rather than any moral uptightness). I don’t have any sponsors or ads and I don’t make any money at all for the words I write. I’ve made a few half-hearted attempts to submit my words to magazines or paid blog sites but I’ve always been rejected outright.

And that’s okay, for now, because I’m busy and I’m not that serious about it.

But one day…it would be so great to be able to stay home with my kids, and yet feel good about that decision because I also have something else. Something that is for me. Something that makes me feel like I’m doing my part to provide for our family. Something that makes other people look at me and see a productive member of society, not “just” a mom.

And like a LOT of mommies who blog, I think blogging professionally would be a dream come true. A way to fuse everything I want in life together in one awesome package.

I suspect the people at BlogHer who really, really wanted free stuff were chasing after this dream, maybe a little too roughly, maybe a little too unprofessionally, but chasing their dream nonetheless. Maybe the experienced bloggers who complained — almost exclusively big bloggers who were sponsored to go to BlogHer, who were invited to sit on panels, who were greeted by their “fans,” who make money from their blogs from ads — could have taught them something instead of judging. Maybe the newbies in the crowd learned something from the BlogHer speakers and panels and will come back next year more mature and ready to network — isn’t that the point?

Despite the negative press, I think I would still like to go to BlogHer ’10 — if I can afford it. I think I could learn a lot about how to improve my writing, how to make it more marketable, how to eventually turn my blog into a profession. I expect the overall message to be to work very, very hard; to write very, very well; and to network until my eyes bleed.

I don’t expect everything to be handed to me on a silver platter. I don’t expect someone to just stumble across my blog, say, “WE LOVE YOU,” then give me six-figures a year to keep on writing exactly what I’m writing. (Although BOY, would that be nice.)

I expect — no, I HOPE — that if I make it to any BlogHer conference in the future, I’ll remember to approach the event with a spirit of learning and sharing, and not with a goal of grabbing free stuff. I will remember to treat everyone with respect and kindness.

And then someday, if I’m very, very lucky…maybe someone will refer to me as a mommyblogger. And it’ll be a compliment.

So Meta, Man

On July 29, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead1 Comment

Captain Jelly Belly and Gal Smiley just had their first real understanding of the genius of Sesame Street.

We don’t usually watch the show but I happened to turn the TV on and they happened to be showing Preschool Musical, an ode to High School Musical, which the older kids have seen many times and adore. In this clip, “Trey” and “Maryella” disagree over whether the kids should play at block corner or dress-up corner — in very bad harmony, of course.

The Captain in particular was totally amazed at how one show could possibly refer to another show like this. It’s ALL INTERCONNECTED, dude. Totally blew his mind!

Blog Out Loud Detox

On July 28, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead1 Comment

Cross-posted from the Blog Out Loud site.

One last big thank you to everyone who came out to Blog Out Loud. I had the priviledge of reading everyone’s post ahead of time, so I knew exactly what to expect…and yet, every entry was so much more moving, so much more hilarious, so much more deeply felt when it came from your own voices. I hope everyone had as much fun as I did.

For those of you who have been asking, yes, I do intend to do this again next year. I specifically held the event on the same weekend as BlogHer, so I wouldn’t feel so bad about missing the biggest blogger conference in North America (sigh). I must say, it worked too — now I actually feel sorry for those bloggers in Chicago who missed out on Blog Out Loud! Next year, however, I think I’ll have it on a different weekend, so there’s no conflict.

In the meantime, I’m looking for any and all feedback on what you loved about the event, and what you’d like to see done differently. Here are some specific questions I have for the crowd:

Did you like the venue? Was it too big or too small? Would you have preferred a restaurant setting where a meal was served?

Did you like the day and time? Would you have preferred a weeekend?

How was the balance between mingling and reading? Too many readers, too few, or just right?

One idea being tossed around for next year is to get a guest speaker — a prominent Ontario blogger to come and talk about the blogging experience. Would you be interested? What if it were on a separate evening — the night before or the night after the readings? What if it cost a few dollars?

If there’s anything else you can think of, don’t hesitate to let me know. You can leave me a comment here, at BOLO, or email me at lynnturtlehead@gmail.com.

Thanks, and see you next year!

So You Think You Can Vote

On July 27, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead5 Comments

So America…what the hell?

To someone tuning in late, the bottom four probably looked like the TOP four standing there, waiting for someone else to be eliminated. You got it seriously wrong.

Captain Jelly Belly was so miffed at the elimination of Jason, his favourite, that he started making immediate plans to visit his buddies The Conductor and E-Man in California, just so he’d be able to vote and take control of the situation. I mean, someone has to. Do Malia and Sasha know about this? Surely they could do something.

Anyway.

Here’s this week’s seedings.

Top Seed: Jeanine. I still contend that she is going to win. She is not the strongest dancer. But I so love her. It’s a combination of her musicality (she’s so bang on during her solos), her humour, and her facial expressions when dancing.

Second Seed: Kayla. Her star is on the rise — I see that the show has taken my note about letting her dance more, interview less. Good job. I thought her solo this week was much better than in weeks past — she’d obviously taken more care in interpreting the music and putting together a performance, not just a bunch of random steps strung together. And, she’s demonstrating that she’s a match for any partner. If Kayla and Jeanine turn out to be the last two standing, it’ll be the first time ever that two women were waiting to hear the announcement of the overall winner.

Third Seed: Evan. Okay, prepare yourself for a small novel here. I really like Evan. If he had not made the top 20 this year I was ready to lead an American Invasion, Operation KICK NIGEL’S ASS. And he did impress me the week of the Top Ten with his ability to partner Kayla. STILL. He is the weakest man left in the competition. He doesn’t have nearly the strength or the versatility of Ade or Brandon. He has not shown a lot of growth or improvement, and his solos are, literally, IDENTICAL every week. It’s like he’s not even making an effort anymore, and I don’t believe he even cares to win. The problem is that the judges also feel he has overstayed his welcome, and are getting more and more blunt about it every week, which is causing a backlash of Evan-love among the voters. When will the judges learn that the way to get someone off this show is to damn them with faint praise — “It was a good, solid performance. You worked hard and put in a great effort, overall a good job.” Evan is the third seed this week because after last week — when Janette paid the price for their weaker numbers despite Evan being at fault — I fear nothing will get the public to stop voting for him. So he’s more likely to make the final four than the other two men, which is only going to make me angry. Look, I LIKE Evan. Do not make me hate him because he went too far and stayed too long, okay?

Fourth Seed: Ade. It’s a tough call here between him and Brandon. I think Ade is more popular with the American public, though. and I think he will be paired with Jeanine this week, which will give him a popularity boost. Still, Ade — I cannot emphasize this enough — STOP DISCOING AT THE END OF YOUR SOLOS. It is obnoxious.

Fifth Seed: Brandon. Brandon was SO good this past week; I especially thought he was just dazzling in his army-pop-jazz number with Jeanine. His solo was better and he toned down the “So you think you can dance dance dance” solo-ending I-am-awesome arm pumps. Still, he landed in the bottom two, so…it is not looking good. I can only hope that America is NOT STUPID and sends home Evan instead, but I no matter what I expect Brandon to land in the bottom two.

Sixth Seed: Melissa. Man, I just blanked out and totally forgot her name. That’s never a good sign. Melissa bought herself an extra week with the breast cancer dance, which I did really like, but was also completely untouchable in terms of comments and votes. I mean, you cannot POSSIBLY not vote for the breast cancer dance, so duh, safe. Still, I think she is less popular than Kayla and Jeanine, so although she is a dazzling dancer, I think this will be her week to go.

Matchup predictions this week: I must say, they have actually convinced me that the pair matching to this point has been random (although I still contend it was NOT random in previous years). I think, though, to produce a better combination of numbers for the tour, they will force these pairings this week:

Melissa and Evan
Kayla and Brandon
Jeanine and Ade

Just two more weeks of this nonsense and then I can return to a regular blogging schedule…although, there is season six this fall. READERS BEWARE.

Sleepy.

On July 24, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead13 Comments

Blog Out Loud last night was great! I was (mostly) chill and had such a good time. I met some fantastic people and saw some of my favourite blogger friends. The cafe turned out to be the perfect size and a great venue for the event. The microphone worked, I ate a yummy piece of cake (FameThrowa, just realized I owe you $2), and I made it through my own reading without passing out. By the end of the evening my cheeks were sore from smiling so much!

And now, I am sleepy. I got to bed later than usual and then Little Miss Sunshine woke up at 4:30 this morning with the World’s Stinkiest Poo. Seriously, it would definitely win world records except that I could not keep it around in the house for verification. Thank God it is garbage day. As it is I think a full household fumigation may be in order.

So yes, a little light on sleep last night.

I hear that last night’s So You Think You Can Dance was a jaw-dropping extravaganza so my plans for today are to return the microphone and speaker from last night, then park my butt on the couch with a huge bowl of something that is not good for me and watch dance show. Twice.

See you next year!

In All My Glory

On July 23, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead4 Comments

Amy at Muddy Boots is challenging folks to post a picture of themselves straight from the shower, with no makeup on.

I laughed to think of that as a “challenge,” because I never wear any makeup, ever. Not that I shouldn’t, I just can’t be bothered. My post-shower beauty routine goes like this: 1. Comb hair. 2. Apply lip balm. Good to go.

So here I am, fresh from the shower. This photo is a little misleading because my hair is still wet. When it gets dry it frizzes right out. With today’s weather it should be like a huge corona around my entire head by BOLO tonight.

Anyway, this should help everyone pick me out of the crowd. And thanks everyone for your great messages — I think I’ve chilled out. Chill! That’s the word of the day.

There Is A Point To This Story

On July 23, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead10 Comments

When I was in Grade 6, we went out to a woodsy place to learn about food chains.

While there, we played a game in which every student was assigned an animal. There were lots of rabbits and mice and they each had six lives, represented by six little cards. There were fewer raccoons and snakes and they each had three lives, represented by three little cards.

I got to be one of only two foxes, each of whom had just two lives. We were at the top of the food chain; only man (played by the teacher) could take one of our lives.

Then they sent us all out into the woods for an elaborate game of tag in which you had to try to catch the “animals” below you on the chain, and take one of their “lives.” Once you were out of lives, you were out of the game.

Like any other school assignment, I took this game very seriously. I remember coming upon a group of about twelve rabbits and mice just sitting together in a clearing chatting; they were all more than happy to hand over all their lives so they could stop playing this stupid game already and go grab a smoke at the exit.

I was super happy to take all their lives because then I was WINNING.

The various levels of the food chain were released in staggered entry into the woods, so that the smaller animals could get a head start. Us foxes were one of the last to join the game, and once in the woods, we only had about fifteen minutes before “man” came after us.

When the whistle blew indicating that “man” was coming in, I did something that is just SO typical of my personality, so indicative of the person I am.

I hid.

I found a little nest of tall grasses under the low branches of a pine tree. I curled up under there and went into full hibernation mode.

The teacher – “man” – came by a couple of times but never saw me. I ended the game with both lives intact, but I don’t think it was quite what the teacher intended. Certainly in the real world, a fox can’t hide at the bottom of a tree indefinitely.

I think about this event all the time because any time there is stress or risk in my life, that’s what I do — I hide. I curl up at home and I don’t talk to anyone and I just survive. I build a cocoon on the couch out of blankets and cups of tea and watch a lot of reality TV and pretend the outside world does not exist.

I’m stressed today. Today is Blog Out Loud. I go back and forth between worrying that there will only be 10 people there, to worrying that there will be a hundred people there. I’m fretting about being too scheduled; I’m fretting about not being scheduled enough. Will everyone be able to get to the coffee bar? Will everyone be able to get to the bathroom?

Will anyone actually talk to me? Or will I just skulk around the sidelines like a pimply debate club member?

(Speaking of which, I naturally woke up with a huge pimple this morning. Sigh.)

I guess it’s too late to go back to bed and spend the day in front of Tour de France coverage and last night’s So You Think You Can Dance.

So if you see me there tonight – doubtless freaking out – do me a solid and say hi.

Things I Have In Common

On July 22, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead4 Comments

Five things I have in common with:

The Captain

Following rules to the letter at all times; getting upset when others break the rules
Curiosity about the way things work
Extreme tentativeness when it comes to physical things – fear of dunking underwater, fear of jumping from high places, fear of riding a bike
Photographic memory for song lyrics
Love of games and game shows

The Gal

Putting out enough heat to warm a house for a year when sleepy/sleeping
Loyalty to friends and family
Extreme dislike of being the centre of attention, of feeling like people are looking at you or noticing you
Stubborn as all hell
So very, very pokey at eating, getting dressed, and getting going in the morning (I hear my mother laughing with glee now, this was always her major complaint about me)

The Little Miss

A lightning quick temper and a patented frowny face is me to a tee
VERY LOUD VOICE
Love of dancing
Love of reading
Love of life

Woot Jeanine!

On July 20, 2009July 20, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead8 Comments

Hey, I just remembered that Monday is supposed to be So You Think You Can Dance ranking day!

Bet you really, really, were hoping I’d remember that, weren’t you?

First off, let me say that I really dislike it when a dancer works very hard to create a serious mood during their solo, and then busts out into cheesy wamma-lamma-ding-dong rocking out during the “So you think you can dance…dance…dance…” cutoff music. The correct action is to pause your dancing, smile openly, and drop character, before politely and calmly walking over to join Cat. Seriously, Ade, Melissa, Brandon…you are ON NOTICE.

Anyway, this week’s rankings.

1. Jeanine. I know! It seems so unlikely! She just doesn’t have the moves or the tricks of most of the other dancers. Here’s the thing though: I love her. And this whole while I thought I was being clever and alternative with my pick, it turns out everyone else was secretly loving her, too. Crazy! Her momentum and style remind me of Sabra from Season 3. I think she has a real chance to win it.

2. Janette. I expected her solo to be weak, and while the dancing was good, it’s just a fact that ballroom dance solos are a lot of butt shaking and little else. As well, I found her hip-hop this week to be a little stilted. Still, she’s built up a lot of goodwill from her amazing performances of previous weeks; now she just has to remember that she has to keep earning our love every time.

3. Ade. I’m going to assume that Ade’s visit to the bottom four was some sort of crazy mass American mental fart, in which everyone assumed that everyone else would be voting for him, and so didn’t bother. Seriously, his solos are dazzling, he was so groovy with the hip-hop this week, and he seems like such a sweet guy — what could possibly be the problem? Plus, Captain Jelly Belly has taken to going around the house with no shirt on and insisting on being called “Ade.” Now that’s the love of the common people, right there.

4. Jason. Ooooh, Jason did not disappoint me this week. He and Jeanine were so good. At first I thought the necklace thing was going to be cheesy, but they sold it, in spades. Jason reminds me of Neil from Season 3 — cute, popular, good enough at everything to get through to the top 4.

5. Evan. Okay, I admit it, I was possibly a little premature in counting Evan out last week. Remember when I suggested it would be a disaster if he were paired with Kayla for some sort of dance involving grace and lifts? That’s exactly what happened…and Evan rocked it. Despite criticism from Mary for his style, I thought he was great. I’m totally with Debbie Allen, “You handled your big woman!” I’d like to see better solos (although, AWESOME taste in music, you cannot go wrong with Rufus Wainwright), but otherwise, Evan can stay.

6. Kayla. Holy moley, producers — stop giving Kayla onscreen interview time. Seriously. She is such a lovely dancer, and totally inhabits her characters. Yet when asked to speak as herself… she really comes across as dull. Even, as my friend Nat would say, “dumb as a post.” It is not good. Plus, her solos are still nothing to write home about.

7. Brandon. Brandon, you’re the best. You’re the king, you will definitely have a future as a professional dancer, you rock. However, I fear you will not win this show. There’s just something that’s not clicking with the audience, unfortunately. Plus, I was looking forward to a slam-wow solo, and instead there was too much frantic spasms. Unless Brandon hits it out of the park this week, I think he’ll be out.

8. Melissa. Again, Melissa, you are a fantastic and unique dancer, but for some reason, the voters just like the other gals better. I was happy to see Randi go home last week instead of her, but this week I think it’s her time.

As for this week’s couples, I was wrong last week on all counts. Do you think the couples were really drawn completely at random (with the caveat, of course, that none of the original couples would stay together)? And if so, do you think the styles were also really assigned at random? It does claim that both were completely random in the small print that they show at the end of the program (I checked). Truth, or legal technicality?

In any case, as they try not to repeat couples in this phase of the competition, it does get easier to predict who will be matched with whom. Or, you can use my predictions as a clear indicator as to who will NOT be matched with whom :).

Janette and Jason
Melissa and Evan
Jeanine and Brandon
Kayla and Ade