So America…what the hell?

To someone tuning in late, the bottom four probably looked like the TOP four standing there, waiting for someone else to be eliminated. You got it seriously wrong.

Captain Jelly Belly was so miffed at the elimination of Jason, his favourite, that he started making immediate plans to visit his buddies The Conductor and E-Man in California, just so he’d be able to vote and take control of the situation. I mean, someone has to. Do Malia and Sasha know about this? Surely they could do something.

Anyway.

Here’s this week’s seedings.

Top Seed: Jeanine. I still contend that she is going to win. She is not the strongest dancer. But I so love her. It’s a combination of her musicality (she’s so bang on during her solos), her humour, and her facial expressions when dancing.

Second Seed: Kayla. Her star is on the rise — I see that the show has taken my note about letting her dance more, interview less. Good job. I thought her solo this week was much better than in weeks past — she’d obviously taken more care in interpreting the music and putting together a performance, not just a bunch of random steps strung together. And, she’s demonstrating that she’s a match for any partner. If Kayla and Jeanine turn out to be the last two standing, it’ll be the first time ever that two women were waiting to hear the announcement of the overall winner.

Third Seed: Evan. Okay, prepare yourself for a small novel here. I really like Evan. If he had not made the top 20 this year I was ready to lead an American Invasion, Operation KICK NIGEL’S ASS. And he did impress me the week of the Top Ten with his ability to partner Kayla. STILL. He is the weakest man left in the competition. He doesn’t have nearly the strength or the versatility of Ade or Brandon. He has not shown a lot of growth or improvement, and his solos are, literally, IDENTICAL every week. It’s like he’s not even making an effort anymore, and I don’t believe he even cares to win. The problem is that the judges also feel he has overstayed his welcome, and are getting more and more blunt about it every week, which is causing a backlash of Evan-love among the voters. When will the judges learn that the way to get someone off this show is to damn them with faint praise — “It was a good, solid performance. You worked hard and put in a great effort, overall a good job.” Evan is the third seed this week because after last week — when Janette paid the price for their weaker numbers despite Evan being at fault — I fear nothing will get the public to stop voting for him. So he’s more likely to make the final four than the other two men, which is only going to make me angry. Look, I LIKE Evan. Do not make me hate him because he went too far and stayed too long, okay?

Fourth Seed: Ade. It’s a tough call here between him and Brandon. I think Ade is more popular with the American public, though. and I think he will be paired with Jeanine this week, which will give him a popularity boost. Still, Ade — I cannot emphasize this enough — STOP DISCOING AT THE END OF YOUR SOLOS. It is obnoxious.

Fifth Seed: Brandon. Brandon was SO good this past week; I especially thought he was just dazzling in his army-pop-jazz number with Jeanine. His solo was better and he toned down the “So you think you can dance dance dance” solo-ending I-am-awesome arm pumps. Still, he landed in the bottom two, so…it is not looking good. I can only hope that America is NOT STUPID and sends home Evan instead, but I no matter what I expect Brandon to land in the bottom two.

Sixth Seed: Melissa. Man, I just blanked out and totally forgot her name. That’s never a good sign. Melissa bought herself an extra week with the breast cancer dance, which I did really like, but was also completely untouchable in terms of comments and votes. I mean, you cannot POSSIBLY not vote for the breast cancer dance, so duh, safe. Still, I think she is less popular than Kayla and Jeanine, so although she is a dazzling dancer, I think this will be her week to go.

Matchup predictions this week: I must say, they have actually convinced me that the pair matching to this point has been random (although I still contend it was NOT random in previous years). I think, though, to produce a better combination of numbers for the tour, they will force these pairings this week:

Melissa and Evan
Kayla and Brandon
Jeanine and Ade

Just two more weeks of this nonsense and then I can return to a regular blogging schedule…although, there is season six this fall. READERS BEWARE.