Sick of Sick

I’m so sick of being sick. I’m on day six of this thing and STILL I feel like crap.

Although they’re no longer testing for the swine flu, there’s no doubt that we have it. First of all, no other strains of flu are prominent in Canada right now, so everyone is being told that if they have the flu, it’s swine flu. And flu we do have — we’re a match for every single symptom.

First, there’s the sudden onset. One minute, you’re laughing in the face of germs; next, you’re feeling that burning sensation behind your eyelids when you blink, indicating that your temperature is zooming up.

Second, there’s the fever. Everyone in our family had a fever over 39 degrees Celcius (102 Farenheit) when measured by ear, a fever that was somewhat abated but not fully controlled with medicine. And trust me, you knew the MOMENT that medicine started to wear off; chills, shakes, huddling under sixteen blankets on the couch, unable to move, begging for meds. MEDS! NOW! It was a scene, let me tell you. Couch space was at a real premium.

Along with your five days of feverish viewings of Toopy and Binoo, you’ll get a cough — a nice, deep chesty cough that involves spitting up green gook. If you have the energy to keep coughing, that is. You’ll feel like you’ve been hit by a truck the entire time.

Eventually the cough and the fever leads to a sore throat and major sinus plugage, along with continued joint pain (nodding is SO HARD) and nausea. The Captain also had (bonus!) vomiting, and Little Miss Sunshine also had (double bonus!) diarrhea. Good times, good times.

I’m so thankful that Sir Monkeypants was sick too. At least he was able to be here all this past week. Between the two of us we figure we added up to about half a parent and that was at least good enough to dose the kids with ibuprofen every four hours and change the DVD on occasion.

The kids are on day seven of the flu and their fevers are finally gone (occasionally spiking in the evening when they get tired) and they’ve started showing interest in toast and the odd bowl of cereal, so that’s good. They’re all still coughing but at least they have the energy to punch each other over Legos again. Sir Monkeypants says he’s all healed (due to his IRON CONSTITUTION) so that just leaves me as a hanger-on. A few more days and I hope to be able to sleep without three pillows and six blankets again.

The one good thing about having the flu run through the house is that we don’t need to make the vaccine decision. I don’t see the point in waiting in line for hours to get a shot when we should have natural immunity now.

In fact, I feel kind of all-powerful. When I’m finally able to get off of the couch, I picture myself wandering through crowds at the grocery store or the mall, fearless, mocking those in face masks. Go ahead, cough on me! Hand me change that came from the same pocket as someone’s hankerchief! Don’t even bother to put out Purell!

I’m a survivor. I’m INVINCIBLE.

Last Name PoMo, First Name NaBlo

It’s day one of NaBloPoMo, when bloggers are invited to blog every day for the month of November.

I’ve done NaBlo the past two years and really enjoyed it. I loved the creative challenge and I met so many fantastic new bloggers through the network. Plus, there’s always the dream of winning a totally awesome prize.

This year, I almost didn’t sign up. That’s because this November is shaping up to be the busiest month of my life, like, EVER. Here’s what’s on tap for this month:

  • Plan and host a major fundraising event at my kids’ school (this is the big one, I’m spending hours on this every day and I freak out every time I even glance at the volunteer schedule)
  • Get the team together for World Trivia Night (which is the night before the fundraiser, I am a GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT)
  • one PTA meeting, one poker night, one dentist appointment, one games night with friends, and one book club meeting (which I haven’t even started reading the book for)
  • the usual gymnastics and swimming lessons
  • it’s my birthday in there somewhere
  • complete all Christmas shopping (because I HATE the mall in December, and December is busy enough as it is)
  • prepare the activities for our Christmas Advent Calendar

But then I thought, what the hell? Let’s do it. Because after all, I am a glutton for punishment (see above).

And also, I have to keep on top of Dance! Show!, because otherwise our PVR will have a seizure, and our PVR is like our fourth child so I can’t have that. If I’m watching Dance! Show!, then that has to be good for what, at least four or five posts a week, right?

Throw in You Capture once a week, and that only leaves one day a week to make a pathetic post about how I AM SO BUSY. And done!

Should be a breeze, shouldn’t it?

I’m so sure.

You Capture: Autumn

Photobucket

This week’s You Capture theme was autumn, but between being really sick and it being really rainy and cold here and having burned off all my leaf-photo-inspiration a few weeks ago when the theme was Red, I didn’t get around to much this week.

In fact, the only shot I took on the theme that I liked is this one:

Pumpkin Seeds

I love pumpkin seeds. So much so that I separated out the seeds from our four pumpkins and roasted them yesterday, despite the illness. No swine flu can stop the power of the pumpkin seed! They turned out awesome, and I can’t wait until the nausea stops so I can gorge myself.

SYTYCD

Must. Blog. About. Dance. Show.

It’s a compulsion. Someday Sam Raimi will make a horror movie about it.

So! Canadian Dance Show is over. I am happy with the winner, and liked the finale — lots of great numbers recreated.

But who really cares about the dancing? What I really care about is when LeeAnn introduced the top 10 number that had been choreographed by Mia Michaels. She mentioned that Mia could not be there, then said (in super-fake baby voice as only LeeAnn can), “Sorry you can’t be here, Mia, hope you’re ooookaaaaay…”

What did THAT mean? At first I feared that Mia dropped out of SYTYCD US because of some sort of health problem, and LeeAnn had some sort of insider info on that. Mia, near death with swine flu! You heard it here first.

But in retrospect, I think it probably meant that Mia was supposed to be there, and just didn’t show up, and didn’t call or anything. Based on what she said last week on SYTYCD America — that not much had been going right in her life lately — sounds like she just had a big flake out and threw her cell phone off the Brooklyn Bridge and then ran off to Hawaii.

Mia, I miss you already!

And speaking of Dance Show America, I love love love the show they put on last week, where they showcased the top 20 dancers in various sized teams doing their own styles. Such an awesome way to introduce us to all the dancers and give the whole top 20 more of a chance to relax into the show before competing. It’s brilliant, it was a great hour of dancing, and I definitely hope they keep the format and introduce to the Canadian version as well.

I still haven’t watched last night’s top 20 show yet, though, because I’m trapped in the house with three sick children — from the fevers and the coughing and the vomit, we are guessing it’s the FLU THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED. Oh Dance Show, if only the obsession you inspire could somehow be translated into a cure for the flu! We’d be better in five minutes.

My Heart Will Go On

Remember that scene in Titanic when Rose and Jack are perched up at the very back of the ship as it points up into the air, and there’s a groaning sound and they realize that this is it and the boat starts rushing down towards the cold, dark water?

I kind of feel that way right now.

Not that anything bad is going on or any disasters looming. Rather, I just feel that this is a turning point for us as parents. A tick of the clock that means we are entering a new phase. Our family is taking a giant leap forward.

This is it.

The change is that Little Miss Sunshine, at age 2 1/4, isn’t a baby anymore. She’s given up eating with a bib. She throws her booster seat out of her chair before she climbs up for a meal. She picks out her own clothes (dresses preferred at all times). We have a little potty in every room in the house.

And then, this weekend, we went out and bought her a big girl bed.

Yesterday afternoon, we had the bed frame together, but the mattress hadn’t been delivered yet. At nap time, Little Miss Sunshine asked for her big bed, but I had to tell her that it wasn’t ready yet.

“Come sleep in the little bed for one last time,” I said.

Then I had to rush out of her room and pull myself together.

I’ve said before that I’m ready to take this step, and I am. I’m ready to be done with changing diapers. I’m ready to travel without having to bring a playpen. I’m ready to call out, “Time to leave!” and be rewarded with three kids waiting at the door with shoes on and coats zipped, all without help.

But still, that cold water is rushing up and it is a little foreboding.

When the Captain and Gal Smiley reached their big-bed milestone, I had another baby in the background, another little person on the way. Then, I was all about get bigger, get older, get more independent. I was excited to put the crib away.

With Little Miss Sunshine, I want to hold on to the baby. At least for a little while. Or maybe a good, long while.

Instead, when Sir Monkeypants came home, we took the crib apart and put it in the furniture graveyard in the basement, along with the nursing chair and the rocker where we used to read Little Miss her bedtime story.

Last night was our first night with the white twin bed and butterfly sheets. Little Miss was nervous, but Sir Monkeypants lulled her to sleep with her favourite book and a back rub.

Then at 3:30 am. she discovered that she can get up! And see Mommy and Daddy! Whenever she wants!

Guess we’re not quite all grown up yet.

Still, it’s time to take a deep breath — we’re going under.

The Dread Crew

Kate of sweet/salty wrote a book! It’s called The Dread Crew and it’s a young-adult book about pirates. Kate is a renowned writer with a very unique voice, and it’s sure to be a big hit.

In honour of the book’s launch next week, Kate created the following meme about books. I think it was supposed to be about books you read as a child, but I cheated here and there.

1) You are facing an epic journey. You may choose one companion, one tool and one vehicle from any book or film to accompany you. Or just one of the three. It’s up to you. What do you choose?

For a companion, I’ll go with Stryder (a.k.a. Aragorn) from Lord of the Rings. He’s an expert traveller, he’s a great swordsman, he knows the way to anywhere. He can light a fire, cook, and rides a horse. And also: HOT. For my tool, I’ll bring Harry Potter’s wand. My vehicle will be Luke Skywalker’s landspeeder (but only if there’s enough room in the back for the horse).

2) You can escape to the insides of any book. Where do you go, and why?

I’m off to the Hundred Acre Wood. I love the Winnie The Pooh stories — although charming for children, they are truly hilarious for adults. The quiet harmony of the woods and the sweet company of Pooh and Piglet sound awfully good to me these days.

3) You can bring one literary character into your current life. Who do you choose, and why?

At this point in my life, I’d want someone who is going to make me laugh, clean up my life, and clean up my house. I’d pick Dorothy from the book Gentlemen Prefer Blondes — she’s Lorelei’s sensible, sassy, brunette best friend. She’d slap me around and make me a martini and dazzle the kids into submission without breaking a sweat.

4) _________________ is my go-to book. I could read that book fifty-seven times in a row without a break for food or a pee and not be remotely bored. In fact I’ve already done that but it wasn’t fifty-seven times. It was sixty-four.

This question was the hardest on this quiz to answer. My reading list is so very, very long, and opportunities to read are so very hard to come by, that I rarely get a chance to re-read books, even favourites. Certainly, in the last 15 years or so, there’s been fewer than five books that I’ve read more than once, and none that I’ve read more than twice. Even as a teenager, I had a huge appetite for reading and would go through book after book after book, rarely returning to the same novel again. So I wouldn’t really say I have a “go to” book.

The only book I can think of that I have read many times is The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin. I adore Ellen Raskin — I have all her books, and all of them except for The Westing Game are now out of print, so they’re among my most prized grab-in-case-of-fire possessions. I like all of them and have read most of them at least five times, but The Westing Game in particular is a beloved favourite. It’s the story of many disparate families brought to live in an apartment building under curious circumstances…and then they all find out that they have some sort of relationship to a recently deceased millionaire. He’s set up a sort of puzzle/game for each of the families to figure out who will inherit the fortune. I can’t recommend it enough to the 10-12 year olds you know.

5) Of all the literary or film characters that made an impression on you as a kid, who was the most enviable?

Pippi Longstocking. The very idea of living alone in a house all your own, taking care of yourself, was both thrilling and terrifying. I thought about Pippi a lot — how I would behave in her situation, and whether or not I’d have enough spunk (and enough hair) to carry it off.

6) Of all the literary or film characters that made an impression on you as a kid, who was the most frightening?

I was going to say Darth Vader here, but truth be told, when I saw Star Wars for the first time as a six-year-old, it was Chewbacca who freaked me out. All that growling! All that fur! Scary.

7) Every time I read _________________, I see something in it that I haven’t seen before.

This is going to sound weird, but for this question I choose the Zoe books by Barbara Reid. They’re toddler books, a series of four featuring Zoe and her visits to the park in different seasons. The books have just a few words in them, but the illustrations are amazing — carved out of plastercine, they’re full of depth and detail. I’ve read these books at least a hundred times with each of my kids and they love them — there is so much to notice and talk about every single time. We’ve given the set as gifts to every new parent we know and I love them. We’ll be putting these into the baby keepsake bin when the babies are all grown up for sure.

8) It is imperative that _________________ be made into a movie. Now. I am already picketing Hollywood for this; but if they cast _________________ as _________________, I will not be happy. I will, however, be appeased if they cast _________________.

Every time I read a book, I cast it in my mind. I’m always looking for just the perfect actor or actress to play the characters in my imagination, and I’m always thinking about how the book could be made into a movie. I think maybe the book-to-screenplay adaptation writer is one of my dream jobs. Anyway, when I was a kid I was obsessed with the books of Alexander Key (most famous for writing Return To Witch Mountain), and I’d love it if they made a movie out of a book of his called The Forgotten Door. Loved that book. It’s about a teenaged boy from another world who falls into ours — I’d prefer to cast an unknown in the role of Jon (the boy), but maybe Taylor Lautner from the Twilight movie would probably be a good second choice.

9) _________________ is a book that should never be made (or should have never been made) into a film.

They’ve been trying to make The Life of Pi into a movie for several years now. BAD IDEA. The story of a boy and a tiger on a boat for months, with only the boy’s internal monologue for action? Only Anthony Minghella could have done it, and he’s dead. GIVE IT UP.

10) After all these years, the _________________ scene in the book/movie _________________ still manages to give me the queebs.

Roald Dahl managed to distub me on more than one occasion. He has one short story about a boy who is harassed by bullies — first they make him lie on train tracks, and when he survives the passing of a train, they cut the wings off of a swan they find, make him climb a tree, and try to fly (the story is called “The Swan” — thanks internet!). Anyway, that story still gives me the shivers just thinking about it. The other one that comes to mind is the scene in The Chocolate War, by Robert Cormier, in which the protagonist pulls the black marble. If you’ve read the book, you KNOW what I mean.

11) After all these years, the _________________ scene in the book/movie _________________ still manages to give me a thrill.

I’m a Star Wars girl, and the scene where Luke blows up the death star still KICKS ASS. Even after a hundred viewings.

12) If I could corner the author _________________, here’s what I’d say to them one minute or less about their book, _________________:

My favourite book right now is The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. If I could talk to her for just one minute, I’d tell her that her characters moved me; that her storytelling was perfectly balanced and gripping; and that her exerpts from The History Of Love (a book inside the book) were the most beautiful, deep paragraphs I’ve ever read. I’d tell her that she inspires me to write, and my dream is to be as good as her someday.

13) The coolest non-fiction book I’ve ever read is _________________. Every time I flip through it, it makes me want to _________________.

I’m not a non-fiction reader. The only non-fiction book I read multiple times as a kid was the atlas of the world. I love maps and atlases, and yet I hate travel. I know, I’m an enigma!

Want to play along? You can find the original copy of this meme here and if you fill it out, you could win a copy of Kate’s book.

Give Us A Kiss, Sonny Boy

I finally got around to watching last week’s Glee yesterday. Was I the only one who yelled at the screen when the OB identified the sex of a ten-week-old fetus on an ultrasound? NO CAN DO, Glee writers. Reality fail.

In other television news, I also finally watched the Top 4 episode of Canadian Dance Show. I found myself thinking that Vincent was kind of cute. Hot, even, as the kids these days like to say.

Then he went and announced that he is twenty years old.

OH MY GOD.

That’s just barely more than HALF MY AGE.

That’s closer in age to my children than to me.

ICK.

I couldn’t revel in the horror for too long, however, because I had to fire up the walker and rush out for the early bird specials at Swiss Chalet.

Don’t Point That Gun At Me

During the premiere of House this year, they used a song called Love Vigilantes by New Order (on the show they used a cover by Iron and Wine). This has kicked off a New Order revival around here, as Sir Monkeypants has started listening to them compulsively. That’s okay with me, as I like New Order. They don’t tire me out like Depeche Mode. Five songs of Depeche Mode, tops, and I have a headache. Weird.

If you were a teenager in the 80s, you can probably hum along with at least ten New Order songs. Even if you listened to say, a shame-inducing combination of Duran Duran, Anne Murray, and The Carpenters in high school. Not that I did, or anything. Look, a bird!

The thing is, even though New Order has a dozen famous songs, they rarely say the title in the chorus of their songs, so I never know what any of them are called. These past few weeks, Sir Monkeypants will put on a New Order song, and I’ll know all the words, but the title? Could be any of five possibilities. Or six.

Just thought of a seventh.

Seriously, am I the only one who is never quite sure if it’s True Faith or Blue Monday? One time I was driving home and I heard a cover of Age of Consent on the radio, and I rushed in to tell Sir Monkeypants about this awesome New Order cover I’d heard, and he was all, “What song was it?” and I was all, “Um…I don’t…know?”

Clearly we have a song naming problem here.

Let’s examine the following quotes from the choruses of New Order’s big hits. I bet that just by reading them, you can hum them and probably even sing the rest of the song. But could you name the title?

1. Pretending not to see his gun
I said, let’s go out and have some fun
I know, you know, you believe in a land of love

2. And I’m not the kind that likes to tell you
Just what I want to do
I’m not the kind that needs to tell you
Just what you want me to

3. I want to see my family
My wife and child waiting for me
I’ve got to go home
I’ve been so alone, you see

4. How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you’ve laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me, how do I feel
Tell me now, How do I feel

5. I used to think that the day would never come
I’d see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun…

6. I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain of my wounded heart

7. Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I’m waiting for that final moment
You’ll say the words that I can’t say

8. Up, down, turn around
Please don’t let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I’ll walk alone
I’ll find my soul as I go home

9. No hearing or breathing
No movement, no colors
Just silence

10. One of these days you’ll go back to your home
You wont even notice that you are alone
One of these days when you sit by yourself
You’ll realize you cant shaft without someone else

11. Oh, God, Johnny, don’t point that gun at me
There’s so many ways our lives have changed
But please, I beg, don’t do this to me
Johnny, don’t point that gun at me
Can I save my life at any price?
For God’s sake won’t you listen to me?

12. And I was touched
By the hand of God
Never knew it but I killed someone

Answers:
1. The Perfect Kiss
2. Age of Consent
3. Love Vigilantes (Bonus: Iron and Wine version)
4. Blue Monday
5. True Faith
6. Regret (my personal favourite)
7. Bizarre Love Triangle
8. Temptation
9. Your Silent Face (known as “Song 5” around our house, because it is song 5 on the Power, Corruption, and Lies album, and that just PROVES MY POINT)
10. Subculture
11. 1963
12. Touched by the Hand of God (the exception that proves the rule)

How many did you get right?

La Tour CN

Captain Jelly Belly likes math. Sir Monkeypants and I both like math. This has led to some math-related joy around the house.

This weekend we were visiting Sir Monkeypants’ family, and since the Captain missed a couple of days of school for the trip, I gave him some homework to do. He was working on some math problems involving two digit addition, with carrying, and two digit subtraction, with borrowing. I think that’s probably around a Grade Two level, so about a year and a half ahead of where he is now.

Up until now I’ve been happy that he likes math and enjoys doing math, but my mother-in-law had something interesting to say. She pointed out that if we keep teaching him advanced math, he’ll always be bored at school, at least during math class. Then he’ll possibly have behavioural problems, or lose interest in school in general.

I was often bored at school as a kid but I was a voracious reader, and I always had a book on hand to fill the void. I’d finish my class work and then whip out a novel; sometimes I’d even sneak a peek during the lecture itself. Other times, I’d fake taking notes when really I’d be writing in my journal or making up stories.

Sir Monkeypants was often bored at school as a kid, but I guess he didn’t like reading as much because he was quite the legendary talker in class. Almost every report card of his says, “Excellent schoolwork, minimal effort, talks too much.”

Are we raising a second generation of troublemaker here?

I don’t think the answer is to stop encouraging the Captain’s love of math or to stop giving him challenging math problems to work on (he loves it, and actually asks for math to do when he’s bored).

But it was an interesting viewpoint. I wonder how we will maintain his interest in school in the years to come if he really does get bored there. Maybe we won’t be able to, and he’ll get crappy marks despite being smart. Maybe he’ll figure out something to occupy his time instead. Maybe we’ll turn to homeschooling (HA HA HA HA).

Anyway, it’s not a major crisis or anything, just food for thought.

In other news, Sir Monkeypants ran his half-marathon in 1:59:some seconds, which is awesome, because finishing in under two hours was his super-stretch goal. We’re so proud of him! I took all three kids downtown to see him at around the 19 km mark and although I was very nervous about driving in Toronto, it worked out great. The drive was easy (thank you, Google Street View), it was a lovely clear day, and the kids were very excited and happy that they got to see their dad running. All good.

After Sir Monkeypants passed us, I took the kids to the CN Tower, since we happened to be within a few blocks of it. I must say, the CN Tower is not a pillar of accessiblity. There are stairs all over the freakin’ place, and once they let you out at the top, you have to go down a flight of stairs to get to the down elevator. F for failure for those with strollers, CN! A+ to the lovely Australian tourists who carried my stroller down the stairs!

Otherwise, though, it was a fantastic trip. The Captain especially adored the tower and asked if he could live there. He has declared it to be the “most fun place on earth” (just WAIT until we get to Disney, dude). All three kids went on the glass floor with no problem, too. It blew my mind how easily Little Miss Sunshine just danced out on that thing, when I was too nervous to even dip a toe. Kids! They’re crazy fearless.

And now we’re home again. It’s nice to be home.