This past Tuesday, for our advent activity, we made beaded snowflakes:

I thought this craft was much better for the four-five-six crowd than the paper snowflakes from last year. The kids had a great time pawing through our big bin of beads looking for matching sets of six beads to put around their snowflakes. They sometimes needed help threading the beads but even Little Miss Sunshine liked playing with the beads and sorting them. I bought a bunch of really pretty beads from Michaels for this craft but they were way expensive and not really worth it — we had a bunch of plastic and wood beads here from various sets of Gal Smiley’s and they were just as nice and easier to work with. Next year I’ll save some money and just buy a big bag of cheapy beads from Zellers.

We also made gingerbread houses this week, always a popular activity that leaves my kids completely hyped up on sugar. Our houses are simple creations made from graham crackers, that are totally meant to be consumed the very second they are finished (although we do try to spread it out over a few days just to contain the sugar a bit).

Reminder to myself for next year, because I always forget this part: the glue-icing that holds the house together takes time to dry. It would be better to make the basic houses the evening before so they can dry/harden in time for decorating the next day.

This year I tried a new Vegan Royal Icing recipe and it worked much better than last year at holding the houses together — in fact, once it was dry, the houses were rock solid. Here’s the recipe:

• 1 cup icing sugar
• 2 teaspoons water or rice milk
• 2 teaspoons light corn syrup
• 1/4 teaspoon clear vanilla

Mix the sugar with the water/rice milk until smooth (if it’s clumpy, do NOT add more water, just work it in as best you can). Beat/mix in the corn syrup and vanilla. If still too thick, add more corn syrup, but remember, this is for glue — it should not be runny at all, and should be more like dough than spreadable icing.

I found this easiest to work with by scooping out a small ball with my fingers, molding it or rolling it into a worm-like string, then pressing the string along the seam I was trying to join. It held quite well right away but pressure from little fingers pushing candies onto the house did cause it to give way a bit; letting it harden for an hour or two before decorating would be better.

Oh, and I almost forgot, we also added a Christmas tree in front of each gingerbread house this year — a sugar ice cream cone covered in green icing. Here’s Little Miss Sunshine’s creation, moments before being devoured:

Last night, we cleared the furniture from our family room and had a dance party — probably my favourite activity to date. Today, we’ll be making a mural of pictures of toys and Christmas-y stuff I’ve cut from magazines and flyers – sounds simple but again, the kids love it because there’s a huge pile of things to sort through and paw through. It’s always exciting when they score something from the heap that they think is particularly special.

Man, Christmas is coming soon!

Baby don’t you cry
Gonna make a pie
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle

-Quincey Coleman, from the movie Waitress

So! One of my goals for this year, before I turn 40, is to become a master pie-maker. My mother is reknown for her amazing pies. She makes the best pies I’ve ever tasted, possibly only bested by my uncle, her brother. She’s the queen of fruit pies; my uncle makes the best merangue. It’s a toss up. A delicious, delicious toss up.

So far, none of my sisters nor I have taken up the pie-making mantle. I am not a good cook, but I do love to bake, and I’d really love to be able to make a pie that’s almost as good as my mom’s. So this year, it’s going to happen.

I’ve decided that to get proper pratice in, I should make a pie about once a week, give or take. Unfortunately, the kids are alien freaks who all HATE pie. It’s not even like it’s their least favourite dessert or that they’d prefer cake. It’s like, WORSE THAN BRUSSEL SPROUTS.

I know! I only hope that they take me with them when their mothership arrives.

So I expect to have a lot of pie to give away this year. Let me know if you’d like to be a taste tester/guinea pig, and if you have some draw-string pants ready to go, I’ll sign you up for the program.

This week I kicked things off with a simple double-crust apple pie. This is my mother’s signature pie, like seriously, her apple pies are a giant slice of heaven. More like two slices of heaven. Okay, okay, three, but I definitely have to stop after that.

So nothing like aiming high or anything. Sheesh.

Here’s my pie. Sorry for the half-eaten state. Sir Monkeypants and I have only seven days to get through this one! We had to act quickly!

I should mention here that since the kids totally hate pie, I haven’t made more than a couple of pies in my life. So for an almost-first try, I’d say this pie was not bad. The filling (Empire apples with a little sugar and cinnamon) is very good. I’d give it a B+.

The crust, however, needs some work. It’s a little too heavy and unevenly rolled, although still edible (and better than a lot of cafeteria pies I’ve had, although I guess that isn’t saying much). I made this one with two cups cake and pastry flour (my mom says it’s a must) and 2/3 cup lard (don’t tell my mom, since she is dedicated to Crisco, but the Captain lately seems to be developing a sensitivity to Crisco and I was really hoping he’d try this pie). Also, the edges are a little well done but I could not for the life of me figure out how to “tent with tin foil” as described in the recipe. The tin foil kept squishing the pastry and wouldn’t stay on and eventually the pie started to fall apart so I panicked and put it in the oven as-is.

So overall, I give the crust a C. Although it definitely does not seem to stop us from eating it.

Last night we tried very hard to have the kids try the pie. Gal Smiley helped me with the filling so she was fairly eager to try out her work, but spat out the one bite she tried and declared it to be terrible.

PIE. I KNOW.

The Captain was even worse, to the point of hilarity. When we told him he had to try the pie, he cried and cried. He was terrified of the horrible, scary, pie. Full of totally disgusting things like SUGAR and APPLES. GROSS.

We were so convinced, though, that he would love it (because it’s PIE, HELLO) if only he tried one little bit that eventually we forced a small bit through his clenched teeth, and eventually he stopped weeping long enough to declare that the pie was, “Okay, maybe,” and then went on to have at least five or six more bites before moving it back to the “totally gross” category.

But hey, progress towards BEING HUMAN, so that’s good!

I’m sure I’ll be trying the apple pie again, and often, this year, but in the meantime, I’m in the hunt for next week’s selection.

Yum, pie!

Just a quick post today about the Canadian Blog Awards. Round one of voting is finished; the top 10 vote getters in each category move on to round two (which I think is the final round).

Turtlehead made it! I’m still in contention for Top Family Blog.

You can vote for me here. As before, if you’d like to vote for me, rank me “1st” in the dropbox on the left hand side and then submit your vote.

You can vote every day. Actually, you can vote every few hours if you are really devoted and have nothing better to do…and if that’s true, call me and we’ll go for a coffee.

I can’t believe how much blogging I’ve done in December, and yet I haven’t even mentioned the Advent Calendar. Where was all this inspiration during NaBloPoMo?

Anyway, we’ve been steadily working through our Advent activities and having a really good time. This year I’ve found it a bit more challenging than last, for two reasons. First, the Captain is in school full days now, so I’m trying to work our activities into the narrow window between home-from-school and cooking-dinner. Since that time is also for doing homework and having a snack and occasionally playing with friends who are invited over, it’s been tough to squeeze it all in, but so far, we’re making it happen. Second, the Captain has complained about a couple of activities as being “too babyish” for him and he has been a fairly reluctant participant. Next year I’ll have to brainstorm some more exciting things.

I’ve been taking pictures all along the way, but since I don’t post pics of the kids here, it’s hard to find photo evidence of our December fun. Here’s a sampling, though.

First up, we hung up our stockings…

And then we put up the tree…

Both of those were fun and will likely remain the same every year.

On day three we made rice krispie squares, the first activity that the Captain claimed was below him (say what? Krispies are ageless, man!). He was more than happy to eat the results, though. Since it’s Christmas and everything I let them go to town on the pan and they each had three big pieces, before dinner. It was a good night. Not shown: Little Miss Sunshine with a face full of marshmallow.

On day four we went to the LEGO exhibit at the Science Museum. It was our second time going — we wanted to have another chance to see the LEGO before it goes away in January. It’s worth it to go back in December because they are having a “guess how many pieces” contest with the giant Space Shuttle that was built for the exhibit on the day it opened. I can’t tell you how many we guessed because we are TOTALLY going to win. The Captain has already spent most of the $1000 prize (which must be spent on LEGO, which is SO not a problem for the Captain).

And again, I can’t show you the pics because the kids are in all of them. Doh.

On the fifth day we were supposed to wrap some gifts, but I decided to take the older two kids to The Nutcracker instead. It was lovely and I have to say, our seats in the very back row of the upper balcony were excellent. The kids were able to stand any time they wanted to, and I didn’t worry as much about the noise they were making. Plus, they could lean over and see right into the orchestra pit. I would possibly actually choose to sit there again in the future. The Captain in particular loved it; Gal Smiley was ready to go home after she’d heard her favourite “Russian Song” in the second half, but she stuck it out until the end.

Day six was family swim, always a good time. Day seven, we built a fort in the front room, so now my living room looks like this:

This was another activity that the Captain chose not to do — he played LEGO with his buddy in the kitchen while I built the fort with the girls. He likes playing with it now that it’s done, though. Hm. I am detecting a pattern here. A pattern of LAZINESS.

Day eight, all three kids had a bubble bath in the big tub:

Always a hit, I had to force them to get out. Although, we are starting to move the Captain toward having more private time in the bathroom, so this may be the last year that I put all three kids in together. And now I’m sad.

Day nine, we coloured pictures for Nanny and Ba, the kids’ two grandmothers. I like this activity a lot because it gets them thinking about other people and doing something nice for someone else.

Gal Smiley and the Captain were really into this idea and made several pictures each for their grandmothers, and then they were pretty excited to mail them afterwards. Then they went outside and played in the massive snowstorm we were having and all in all, it was a pretty awesome day.

On Day 10 we made peppermint bark (recipe at the very end of the linked post), which I love. I must say, we have entirely too many treats in the house this December. I’m already pushing the boundaries of my pants, and we still have weeks to go. Not good.

Not shown: Little Miss Sunshine with a face full of chocolate.

Yesterday was Day 11. Sir Monkeypants took the day off of work because it was Gal Smiley’s Christmas concert in the morning (CUTE. OVERLOAD.). Then we picked up the Captain from school and took the kids to see Santa at the mall, and to drop off some toys for Toy Mountain, only I forgot the toys at home (DOH), so now we have to go back there today or tomorrow or some other time when I’m ready for the hell that is the mall in December.

Santa was good though. Not shown: Little Miss Sunshine with a face covered in candy cane.

Question for you parents out there: do you try to manage your kids requests to Santa, or do you just let them ask for anything they want? Like, do you let them ask for a pony if they really want a pony, knowing that there is no way in hell that they are going to get a pony? Or do you gently suggest things like, “I don’t think Santa can fit a pony in his sleigh, honey, why don’t you ask him for a toy pony instead?” Last year the Captain seemed really heartbroken when Santa didn’t bring him exactly what he asked for, so this year I have tried to provide some guidance. I also planted the idea that Santa knows what kinds of things you like, and will bring something he knows you will enjoy, even if he can’t fulfill your exact request.

It’s such a tough call, though. I invite opinions on this topic if anyone is still reading this EPIC NOVEL of a post.

Today, day 12, we’ll be chilling out by watching a Christmas movie (A Muppet Christmas Carol) with some chips and popcorn. Yum! And then tomorrow, we’ll be making gingerbread houses with FameThrowa and Mr. Chatty. Double yum!

Time to bring out the buffet pants.

The other day I had to go to a lawyer’s office to sign some papers, and the lawyer called in her assistant to be a witness. I had the girls with me, and The Assistant and Gal Smiley got to talking. When Gal Smiley told The Assistant that she has an older brother, age 6, The Assistant said that she has a little boy, age 8.

Then she turned to me, totally unprompted, and said, “Their behaviour gets a lot better when they turn 8.”

Oh man, did I ever need to hear that. It was like a small beacon of hope shining in the middle of a terrible storm of silliness.

When my nephew AvidReader was about the same age as the Captain, we went to visit him and his family. My sister in law warned us before we came that AvidReader might be annoying. “Why?” we asked. “He just tries to do things that he thinks are funny all the time, but they aren’t,” she said.

I must admit, we didn’t see what she was talking about at the time. Sure, AvidReader was maybe a bit more spirited than usual, but we had fun with him and it was a good visit.

But boy, do we EVER understand what she meant now that we have one of our own. A six year old boy that we live with, day in and day out, who CANNOT. STOP. THE. SILLY.

The crazy faces when you’re trying to discipline him. The shouting out of, “Where’s my dinner? Where’s my dinner?” when it’s sitting right in front of him. The repeating of everything you say, but with the word “poop” thrown in. The random tackling of family members. The frequent sudden declarations that, “YOU’RE BLUE! YOU’RE BLUE!” followed by insane laughter.

And the worst part is that he’s totally corrupted Gal Smiley to his cult of silly. Now all day long all I hear is them attempting to one-up each other in the most ridiculous conversation ever.

Witness this exchange that took place in the van on the way home from The Nutcracker, because there’s nothing like ballet to put you in the mood for a little crass talk:

Gal Smiley: The sun is setting!

Captain Jelly Belly: Bed bed bed wetting!

[hysterical giggling]

GS: The sun is having a poop.

[hysterical giggling]

CJB: My eyeballs are bleeding!

[hysterical giggling]

GS: Blah blah blah dancing queen!!

[hysterical giggling]

CJB: Why don’t you pick your nose and eat it?

[hysterical giggling]

GS: You’re going to step in nose poo!

[hysterical giggling]

CJB: Sid! YOUR NAME IS SID!

[hysterical giggling]

GS: DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO!

[hysterical giggling]

CJB: Sid, why are you driving me crazy?

[hysterical giggling]

And then my head exploded.

A blog post cannot remotely capture how annoying this is. One time, vaguely amusing, maybe. Sixteen hours a day of this nonsense, non-stop — OH. MY. GOD.

And it’s such a grey area when it comes to discipline, too. On the surface of it, they’re having fun. They’re happy, they’re playing well together, they’re making each other crack up. The only real danger is busting a gut from laughing, or perhaps future overuse of the word “poop” in business meetings.

And yet, there’s only so much we can take, before one of us blows up and tells them to KNOCK. IT. OFF.

Half of me says, they’re just kids, they’ll outgrow it.

The other half says, what if the only reason anyone else ever outgrew it is because their parents cracked down on that crap every single time? And if I give up and just try to ignore it, they’ll grow up to be Carrot Top and Joan Rivers?

Eight years old better hurry up and get here!

Whenever one of my friends’ kids has a birthday, or when Christmas rolls around, I always want to know what they are getting for their kids for gifts. It always feels so awkward to ask about it, though. It feels akin to asking about how much money someone makes. It’s just taboo, and makes people feel like they are being judged or compared in some way.

Not that I let the awkwardness stop me from asking, anyway. I’m always on the hunt for awesome gift ideas for all ages, so I just want the info. No judgment here! Just excitement about new finds!

This year, like many people, we are cutting back a bit on our Christmas spending on the kids. Also, we looked around for some non-toy presents since they will be getting toys from their grandparents and aunts this year. So here are a couple of ideas from my own shopping list — no need for the awkward asking!

See, I’m always thinking of you guys.

For the Captain — he’s six and a half — we wanted to get him a Star Wars shirt. He loves the Star Wars, but we wanted something on the theme that wasn’t a toy. There are plenty of cute shirts available online for like, a thousand dollars each plus a million dollars shipping. However, I did find this pretty good one at Sears.ca for just $14.99. Free shipping, too, if you’re willing to pick it up at a location near you. Warning — they fit big, I bought the size 8 (small) and it’s surely going to fit him until he’s 17.

He’s also getting some Ricky Ricotta books that he saw at the bookstore a few weeks ago, and fell in love with. But if you have a six year old, may I recommend the Wayside books instead:

They are hilarious, and their short-story format makes them perfect for bedtime reading. They’re probably too hard for your average six-year-old to read themselves but we just finished working through the third book as the Captain’s bedtime stories and I think it’s safe to say, he’ll love them forever.

Gal Smiley is five this Christmas, and she is a tough person to shop for. She is not into girly-girl things like Barbie and Polly Pockets and fashion jewelry and handbags. She’s all about the cargo pants and climbing trees. One thing she really likes is playing “camping,” so she is getting a hand-crank flashlight from Lee Valley, for just $10:

She also loves to have a cup of milk in a mug in the mornings, so we are getting her a custom photo mug from the Photolab at the Superstore, with a picture on it of her with her favourite sleep buddy, Shearly the Sheep (starting at $14, depending on how fancy you want your mug).

She’s going to love it. There’s lots of other great custom photo gifts to consider too, like t-shirts or Christmas ornaments or puzzles, with a picture of a special toy or brother or sister on it. For Gal Smiley’s birthday, I printed out several photos that she had taken with the Fischer Price camera we got her last year (totally awesome gift, absolutely perfect for her, by the way) and put them in a little album and it’s one of her favourite things — another inexpensive gift that was a big hit.

Little Miss Sunshine is two and a bit, and she’s so easy to shop for. Unlike Gal Smiley, anything pink and sparkly will do just fine. So, she is getting sparkle shoes from the Joe Fresh line (the Loblaws/Superstore brand). I’ve seen sparkle shoes at the mall for $35, and I’m sure they are excellent quality, but considering the Little Miss is going to wear them when she is digging sand at the park, the $14 price at the Superstore will be just fine. Unfortunately I could not find a picture of them online because the Joe site is SO ANNOYING, but they come this year in black, silver, and gold (we got silver) and they sell out super early, so act quickly if you are interested.

The Little Miss is (not suprisingly) obsessed with ballerinas, so she’ll also be getting a couple of books about ballerinas, including this one called Ballerina! by Peter Sis:

It’s about a girl getting ready for a ballerina show and practicing her moves. Oh man, am I ever going to be ballerina-ed out three days after Christmas.

Lastly, if you have an almost-three-year-old, I highly recommend the Letter Factory video by LeapFrog, which is just $11 online:

We already own it but we are buying it for my nephew this year, because it totally changed our lives. Actual education and early reading skills, passed on to your kid while they think they are mindlessly watching TV! We just started bombarding the Little Miss with this one and she already has learned that the A says “aahhhhh!”

Okay, now it’s your turn! What funky and different and inexpensive ideas do you have?

Disclosure: I got bubkis from any and all of these companies for mentioning their stuff. I just like it.

This week we got the Captain’s first Grade One report card. It is such a mysterious document. I mean, the letter grades are there and I guess that’s fairly straightforward. But reading through the comments is like reading a foreign language.

I’m guessing that Board guidelines, formulated so as to not offend anyone ever, instruct the teachers to couch all their real comments in such convoluted sentences as to be completely misunderstood. You have to read each sentence at least ten times to understand its basic meaning; then you have to read it several times in the context of the whole paragraph to understand the nuances of each word.

For example, here’s a sentence:

“He usually prints letters legibly and leaves a space between words.”

On the surface, that sounds good, right? He’s printing things! He’s doing it! He’s making it happen!

But the key word here is, “usually.” Usually is the word that indicates the level at which he is doing these things. In reality, handwriting is the Captain’s weakest area. With this sentence, the teacher is trying to communicate the he needs more handwriting practice.

If he were doing well in this area, she might have said, “He always prints legibly.” If he were having a lot of difficulty, she might have had to go all the way to, “He sometimes prints legibly.”

Instead, the selection of the key word “usually” is meant to flag it as a problem area that needs work, but isn’t threatening his ability to pass.

Crazy, eh? It’s like every single point in the report card must have a positive sound about it, no matter what it is really trying to say. You really have to read between the lines to understand why your kid got the mark they did, and what they really need to work on.

Here’s another one:

“He applies knowledge and skills in familiar contexts with considerable effectiveness.”

This comment is about math. The key word here is “considerable” — this means he’s doing very well. If he were having trouble in math class, she might have said, “with some effectiveness” or maybe, “He usually applies knowledge.”

It took me a very long time to learn to speak this kind of language.

I guess the Board is just trying to protect its teachers from ugly confrontations, but we really just wish they’d tell it like it is — it’d feel a lot less like homework!