I haven’t been around much lately, because the other day I woke up and realised that we are already more than halfway through the all-too-short summer, and our days of fun in the sun are numbered. So we’ve been trying to get outside as much as possible, and for some reason I find it too hard to read my laptop display in the full-on sunlight, like, there must be a technical solution to this someplace, or else how do high-priced lawyers with vacation homes in Cabo ever get anything done? Anyway, I’ve been forced to spend my time pushing the kids on the swingset or frolicking with them in the wading pool, which isn’t half bad. We all have farmer tans and we’ve been using the BBQ more than ever and the patio is FABULOUS.

I’d love for this time of year to last forever but I already feel it slipping away. Soon it’ll be September and the kids will be back in school, which will be fun for them but will make our days so much busier and more stressful. Then, next thing you know, we’ll be getting out jackets and mitts and long pants and boots, settling in for six months of winter. Sigh. Must. Go. Outside. Now.

In the few moments I have to steal away and use the computer, I haven’t been blogging or reading blogs much because I have an exciting new love. My sister FameThrowa’s company has been working on a new website that does link sharing. I think there are others like it out there — something called Delicious? Or maybe Digg? I don’t know, kids these days are into all kinds of stuff I don’t understand, because I am old and crotchety.

Anyway, FameThrowa’s site is now in beta so she fished around for people to get on it and get accounts and try it out, so Mrs Carl Sagan and I both signed up so we could share Etsy links. Because we already spend a good chunk of every day emailing back and forth with links to stuff on Etsy that we like, or have bought, or are thinking of buying, or would be thinking of buying except that shipping is too expensive. Now we can go on the website and post links all day long, and it’s even more addictive than just Etsy and emailing, because we can comment on each other’s links. Stuff like, “I love it, and I’m going to email your husband right away to tell him to get it for you for Christmas.”

And now we’ve invitied MyFriendJen and LuckySevens to join us in our Etsy-fest, and FameThrowa is in there herself viewing and commenting and shopping, and it’s a crazy free-for-all. I’m constantly checking to see if someone has posted a new link, or commented on a link, or else I’m surfing Etsy myself looking for new links. It’s a sickness. I have no room for blogging anymore, I MUST SHOP AT ETSY.

Also I am finding that the whole link-sharing thing is kind of bad for us in that we are constantly encouraging each other to actually buy stuff, instead of just window shopping. Every time Mrs Carl Sagan gets something, I need to get something too.

I think I need a little break. Time for a lemonade and some more frolicking in the pool.

We have lots of friends who travel with their kids. One girlfriend of mine took her son to Australia, for crikey’s sake, when he was only a year and a half old. Other friends of ours took their two young sons to Paris, and most of my friends from my old Mommy-And-Baby group have at least taken their kids for a few nights to Quebec City or Montreal or Halifax.

I can’t seem to even get it together enough to take all three of them camping. Or to the Papanack Zoo. Or to IKEA.

Sir Monkeypants and I are really starting to feel like we need to try a few simple family trips, just to wet our feet and get over the fear. It doesn’t help that three times a year, we make the epic journey to Southern Ontario to visit our families. It’s a long, tiring trip that doesn’t leave us with a lot of energy for even more travelling during the rest of the year. However, there are so many other fun, exciting things we could be doing with our kids, memories we could be making with them, and we feel like we should be doing more.

I was just looking at DaniGirl’s photos of her trip to Lake Placid and my first thought was, “Ooh, that looks like fun.”

But my second thought was, “What the hell would we do about food?”

Almost all of our talk of vacations and trips, from Disneyworld down on through the Toronto Science Centre, comes down to a food issue. We aren’t sure how we would feed Captain Jelly Belly while we are away. We live in fear of him eating something he’s allergic to, something that makes him sick, while we are hundreds of kilometers from home and away from the safety net of known doctors and hospitals and medicines.

How do other families with food issues travel? They can’t possibly stay home at all times. Do they pack a whole suitcase full of prepared foods? Do they always book a place with a kitchen, so they can make their own meals? Do they trust restaurants and fast food places when they are travelling, if the place assures them that there are no nuts/no wheat/no milk in whatever? Do they risk it?

I wonder. Melanie, Beck, XUP, anyone else? How do you feed your kids when you travel?

I know, I know. I said I wasn’t going to blog about So You Think You Can Dance. Much.

But I can’t help it! I’m obsessed! Nothing else fills my head! I have to talk about it!

And lucky you, there’s no one else I know who is watching it, so I must vomit all my dance critiques out into my blog. Yay!

(Those of you who are non-dance fans can skip the rest. I’d put it behind a cut but I’m not sure how to do that in WordPress. Is there a way?)

Here’s my list of the top eight dancers, in order from best to worst (in my humble opinion). I’ve got some words of advice for each.

Will

He’s the king, the champ, the master. I’d love to see him win the whole thing. His solo this week was so freakin’ good, I felt robbed when it stopped — more Will! More Will! He’s versatile and modest and powerful. Advice to Will: I really hate it when you wear a shirt or a hat with words on it during the opening bit when they introduce the dancers, and then waste your whole ten showcase seconds pointing to the text. It’s a DANCE show, not a POINTING show. Otherwise, keep doing what you’re doing.

Katee

She’s head and shoulders above the rest of the women; she can do anything, be anybody, make any couples partner look good. I love her, and if she won over Will I wouldn’t mind a bit. Advice to Katee: Stop smiling all through your solos, or else, choose cheerier music. I realize you love to dance, but grinning while the music is sad is just weird.

Joshua

His popping in his solos is so fantastic, I could watch it all day. He kills at hip-hop but has shown that he is more than versatile enough to handle other styles. He’s been a great partner for all the women. Advice for Joshua: I’d like to see a little more variety, maybe some hip-hop, thrown into your solos.

Twitch

Who doesn’t love Twitch? He is so earnest and funny and seems like such a great guy. Obviously he rocks it at hip-hop, and he was totally dazzling at krump too, the first time I have ever enjoyed a krump performance on this show. He’s not as strong as Joshua at the ballroom stuff, but he’s able to pull it off without embarrassing himself, and he was so, so great in the two Mia Michaels routines he did (Kherington and the bed, and Katee and the door). Advice to Twitch: Drop those goofy glasses. And although I could watch your solos for hours and hours, I swear, if you make that stupid fingers-on-shoulder salute one more time, I will have to kick you in the head, FOR REAL. Otherwise, love you!

Chelsie

The judges are always going on and on about Chelsie’s legs and usually that kind of constant, gushing praise makes me want to puke first and bitterly hate the person after. However, in this case I cannot disagree — Chelsie’s legs are that amazing. She’s done great partnering work with all the men she’s been matched with and is always fabulously in character on stage. It’s amazing how she can seem so passionate and girlie while dancing, when her apparent real-life personality is so tomboy-ish. Advice to Chelsie: Although I think you are the second best female dancer, you are in danger of not making the top four because you do not come off well in your interview and backstage segments. You are not well-spoken, and your obnoxious way of treating the men on this show — as if they are repulsive, smelly, idiots — is not doing you any favours. You really need to tone down the put-downs and dial up some sweetness. In addition, like most ballroom types on this show, your solos suck — your dancing is fine, but you seem incapable of moving around the stage and working directly to the crowd. Time to kick it up a notch, Chels!

Courtney

I think Courtney is the most underrated dancer on the show right now. She often gets negative feedback from the judges — they are fond of saying that she “flies under the radar” and is “only barely good enough” each week — but I don’t think she deserves it. She’s a good dancer and she’s had some great routines, mostly with Gev. although I also loved her two routines with Joshua last week. Advice to Courtney: You need to do something to differentiate yourself from Katee, who is very similar but a better dancer. A peppier, happier solo might help you stand out in our memories. Also, it’s time to show us a bigger personality in your interviews and on stage.

Mark

Everybody loves Mark; he’s charming and original. I feel like he’s lost some of his magic, though, since the partner switch-ups; his pairing with Kherington was terrible, and he didn’t show much chemistry with Comfort this week, either. I like his solos and I loved many of his numbers with Chelsie, but I think he’s the weakest man left. Advice to Mark: Your solos are cute, but we need to see some more actual dancing out of you if you’re going to stick around. It’s probably already too late, though.

Comfort

Oh, Comfort. At the start of the season, you were my favourite, and I so wanted you to succeed. You haven’t disappointed in the hip-hop area (and screw Nigel, your solos are great), but you just don’t have the stuff when it comes to the other kinds of dance. Advice to Comfort: Go home with your head held high, and find a kick-ass hip-hop troupe to tour with.

Tonight — it’s an easy call to say that Mark and Comfort will be going home. Much more interesting to me are the other man and woman in the bottom two, as these are the most likely to go home next week. If America agrees with me, it should be Courtney and Twitch, but you never can tell. Maybe Chelsie’s offscreen attitude issues will put her in the bottom two instead of Courtney…and maybe Twitch’s amazing door routine with Katee this week, far and away the show’s highlight, will push Joshua into the bottom two instead. I wish they would throw out the two men/two women rule for the final four and just let Twitch, Joshua, and Will get to the end with Katee. As it is, it’ll be very interesting to see which of the three top men (and women, excluding Katee) manage to make it into the finals.

Ah. That feels better. Now I can finally get some other stuff done around here!

Captain: I know three really big numbers, if you really want to amaze someone.

Me: Really? What are they?

Captain: First, there is one hundred. The next biggest number is one billion. After that comes infinity.

Gal Smiley: I know one more! AND BEYOND!

The baby is weaned! Whoo hoo!

(Now excuse me while I have a little sob over here in the corner.)

I’m really only a little sad about it. Overall, it’s good to be free. This morning I threw my nursing bra in the laundry basket for the last time, then dug through my drawer of bras for something pretty to wear. Despite having every band size from 34 to 40 and every cup size from AA to D represented, I couldn’t find anything that fit. OF COURSE. I hate bra shopping even more than regular clothes shopping, which is saying a lot, but I guess I’ll have to hit the stores. At some point.

The worst thing about weaning Little Miss Sunshine is that she’s currently in a major DADDY phase, thus compounding my sense of division. Doesn’t my baby need me anymore? Is she lost to me forever now? I need reassurance that we still have some sort of special bond, I think.

Actually I say “a phase” but that is wishful thinking — she’s been in this so-called “phase” since birth. She’s always giggled with joy every time Sir Monkeypants walks into the room, squealed with excitement when he picks her up. When she falls and hurts herself, she reaches for Sir Monkeypants. When she’s cranky, she wants him to rock her (or else dangle her upside down, which is actually better). She shakes all over with glee when he comes home from work.

Do I even need to mention that “Daddy” was her first word?

I guess I should just suck it up. After all, I still have Gal Smiley, who continues to be a Mommy’s Girl despite Sir Monkeypants’ best efforts to win her over.

That, and some nice new undergarments should cheer me up. If only I didn’t have to actually shop for them.

Captain Jelly Belly is a boy who is very comfortable being buck naked.

Maybe a little too comfortable.

When our kids were born, we decided we wanted to raise them with healthy body images. We didn’t want them to feel ashamed or embarrassed about any bodily functions. We made sure they knew the proper names for all their parts. I must say I never knew I’d be so comfortable using the word “penis” in every day conversation. I’m also not shy around the word “testicles,” although recently the Captain has become infatuated with the word “balls” instead, which does give me pause. I really hope he doesn’t pull that one out of the bag when we are visiting my mother-in-law in a few weeks.

When it’s time to get dressed or have a bath or just for no reason at all, the Captain likes to chuck his clothes and run around in the buff. We’re pretty cool with it; we figure he’ll develop a natural sense of privacy as he ages, and eventually he’ll figure out that the bathroom has a lock on it for a reason.

My point here is to say that Gal Smiley, as a result, is actually quite familiar with male genitalia. Up until the Captain turned five a few months ago, they used to bath together. Now I make them bath separately, because it seems like Captain Jelly Belly should be moving to an age when he has a little private time, but Gal Smiley usually still gets an eyeful when the Captain is shamelessly dancing about completely nude while his bath water runs. Which I guess defeats the purpose, but whatever, we’re getting there. A new day of modesty beckons!

The other day the kids were in the backyard playing in our wading pool in bathing suits, and Princess Charming, who lives behind us and is the same age as Gal Smiley, came on over. She’s an only child. When the kids started to get cold I told the Captain and Gal Smiley that it was time to get dressed, and within three seconds, the Captain had stripped off his suit and was running around the yard with everything hanging out. I rushed to get him wrapped in a towel and sent him inside to get dressed, and then he got a lecture about how the whole neighbourhood does not have any desire to see his penis. Or his balls.

It wasn’t until later that it occurred to me that it might have been the first time that Princess Charming had ever seen a penis. Oops! Come on over for a swim, emotional trauma thrown in for free! I hope it wasn’t an incident that is going to haunt her in therapy in the years to come. I feel like I should apologize to Queen Charming, but I’m not sure what to say. We’re just so used to seeing it, it didn’t seem like a big deal to us, but I’m guessing it was kind of a big deal to the Princess.

I imagine Queen Charming probably had some very interesting questions to answer on the way home.

We’re getting out the pool again today, so it seems like it’s time to usher in that age of modesty a wee bit faster!

I spent a lot of time with my maternal grandparents as a kid. They lived just a few minutes’ drive away in the same town, and after my parents were divorced, they were like a second set of parents to us. As a result I know a lot more than your everyday person about Big Band music and the dulcet elevator stylings of Richard Clayderman. Also, I use a lot of oddly outdated phrases like “lickety split” and “jeepers creepers” and “kittycorner,” which do not sound strange to me at all and drop seamlessly into conversation with FameThrowa, but which never fail to get me really weird looks from Sir Monkeypants.

For her birthday, Little Miss Sunshine got a little bike from her aunt and uncle that has an interactive dashboard with lots of lights and buttons. The buttons each play a different royalty-free chesnut like “Turkey in the Straw” or “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain.” One of the songs is a song that I know as “Sailing Sailing,” which my grandmother used to sing around the house sometimes:

Sailing, sailing, over the bounding main
Where many a stormy wind shall blow
‘Ere Jack comes home again…

Do regular people know this song? Or is this another of my grandparent-taught oldies? In any case, I’m pretty sure this is the song on the bike.

However, Gal Smiley recognizes this same tune as “Puff the Magic Dragon,” which she learned at preschool this past year. And I have to admit, the tunes are strikingly similar. So similar that, at the Gal’s request, I can sing “Puff” to the “Sailing” tune with little trouble.

I looked it up and apparently “Puff” was written by the Peter part of Peter, Paul, and Mary (the group that took the song to number one). There doesn’t seem to be any mention in wiki of blatant plagiarism but I think there may be a lawsuit here for some guy who’s been dead for 200 years. Something to think about, dead guy!

Peter, Paul, and Mary also were the ones who popularized the tune “Leaving On a Jet Plane,” which was also involved in a plagarism suit several years ago. New Order’s song, “Run 2,” can never be released again in its original form because its guitar solo is, apparently, too close to “Jet Plane.” I thought that this meant that Peter, Paul, and Mary are major hypocrites, but it turns out that the song was actually written by John Denver, and it’s John who brought the lawsuit against New Order.

Still. Peter, Paul, and Mary — I’ve got my eye on you.