Food Is A Battlefield

I swear TO GOD that one of these days I am going to start a new, second, supplementary blog. And in this special side blog, I will record recipes. Fun, yummy, to-die-for recipes.

Recipes for all the things I’ve made in my life that were FREAKIN’ DELICIOUS, that my kids refused to eat.

That way, you all can test the recipes yourselves, verify that they are indeed fantastic, and then confirm that my children are, indeed, nuts.

This evening we had my famous Secret Ingredient Lentils, for which I am almost internationally known. They’re fantastic, and you know what the secret ingredient is? Just between you and me? It’s ketchup. Totally kid-friendly!

And did anyone under the age of 37 want to try it? No, they did not.

But you know, lentils are kind of weird looking and I was a kid once too, so I could maybe understand the fear and the tightly closed mouths.

So I paired the lentils with a fantastically moist, lip-smackingly good Applesauce Bread. Seriously, I could have lived on it.

Naturally I had to force them to even try it. Because weird foods like bread are scary. And then after one miniscule bite each, they declared it vile, foul, barely even qualifying as food.

SO AGGRAVATING.

Thank goodness we had that third kid. Little Miss Sunshine doesn’t know what the words “blech” and “yuck” mean yet, so she did not succumb to the obvious peer pressure. She ate a whole slice of Applesauce Bread, and then polished off Gal Smiley’s picked-at piece as well.

Oh, and last Friday? I made myself a serving of roasted asparagus, just a small amount because I’m the only one in the family who likes it. The older two kids had a gag-fest at the smell. Little Miss Sunshine got mighty pissed off that she didn’t have any on her tray.

Are those kids even related?

I eventually gave the Little Miss a piece of asparagus because I couldn’t stand the whining — it’s like having a begging dog under the table. I’m sure I don’t even have to tell you that she ate that sucker. And she doesn’t even have any teeth yet! That is determination.

Oh, and at the same meal? She insisted that I let her have some corn. ON THE COB. And did she get it off the cob, even though she has no teeth at all in her wee little mouth? YOU KNOW IT.

While the other two took a bite each of their half-cob and whined that they were totally, totally, totally full and could not possibly eat anything else until five minutes later when they were both asking for chips.

Little Miss Sunshine — don’t ever change!

6 thoughts on “Food Is A Battlefield

  1. fame_throwa

    I’m so glad you’ve got at least one good eater!

    How did you roast the asparagus? I picked some up this week at Farm Boy, and I’m not sure what to do with it. I could steam it, but if roasting is better, send along the instructions!

  2. Can’t you add a page to your current blog for recipes? I was thinking of doing the same thing on my blog. And I’ve found that kids get pickier the more you give in to their quirks. I refuse to make separate meals. I always made my daughter try everything several times before she was allowed to say she didn’t like it. Most things she acquired a taste for after 3 or 4 times. A few she didn’t — she’ll still eat it, but she doesn’t particularly like it. She’s not allowed to say yuck or blech over perfeclty edible food. That’s the epitome of I -don’t-know-what in my books. It drives me nuts when kids come over for supper and turn their noses up at what I feed them.

  3. I’m new to your blog, referred here by Andrea at the Fishbowl! I tried sunflower butter because of YOU and my family all love it-so thanks for that.
    I am pretty fortunate to have two children who are somewhat adventurous eaters. My oldest is really adventurous and will try almost everything and likes a wide variety of food. My youngest however, is a bit fussier. Either way, our household rules include a) nobody is allowed to say anything bad about the food I cook (no ewwws or yucks) and b) I always put a bit of everything I cook on everyone’s plate but it’s not mandatory to eat it or even to taste it. I do this with the hope that my kids my try something they don’t normally like and begin to like it. So if we have brussel sprouts, I know neither of my girls would say yes to having a serving of them so each gets one brussel sprout on her plate. They aren’t allowed to feed it to the dog or put it on Dad’s plate…and if anyone does complain they are reminded that they don’t have to eat it, just to ignore it. I swear it works, my kids often end up eating a bite or two of the foods they don’t like!

  4. Mrs. DaddyoRandy

    I have 2 teenagers, the Terminator, a 16 year old who eats meat, potatoes and junk food, and 14 year old JEM, who is a foodie. I swear they were born this way. On trips to the grocery store as preschoolers, The Terminator would ask for cookies or chips for a treat. Jem would ask for shrimp.

    To be fair, The Terminator now eats a broader range of foods than he did as a child. Jem eats everything. She is a creative cook, last summer making potato salad with grilled vegetables and blue cheese dressing, this year making chocolate truffles for her first paying job. Chef school may be in her future.

    By the way, please tell SirMonkeyPants that I exist. I gather there is some doubt.

  5. FameThrowa — I got the instructions for roasted asparagus from Beck’s blog — link here. She was doing a whole thing on asparagus so she also made posts about steamed asparagus and fancy asparagus. I’ve had the roasted twice now and…yummy! Someone commented on her blog that it is also delicious when done on the BBQ — I’m going to try that one next.

  6. XUP – My husband is very good about not letting the kids say “yuck” to food. I must admit I have been a little too lenient on that front. But you know, parenting, it’s a learning process!

    Porter – Nice to meet you! I’m so glad you liked the Sunbutter — it’s become a staple around here and already we’re halfway through the bottle. Yum. As for the picky eaters, that’s great advice to just put a little bit of everything on their plate. We never prepare “alternate” dinners for the kids — what I make is what I make — but I do try to always include something I know that they will eat. Maybe if the good stuff and the yucky stuff are next to each other on the plate they’ll just move on over!

    Mrs. DaddyORandy — BonBon! I’m SO happy to hear from you! I told SirMonkeypants about your comment here and he is most impressed. As for the kids, it’s very interesting to hear you say that JEM has always been a foodie. Little Miss Sunshine will eat anything, but our “foodie” is definitely Gal Smiley, in that she loves to cook and is interested in various spices and how it all works together. I would think that she could be a chef some day too, except the influence of her idol — her picky picky older brother — is dragging her down. Fight the power, Gal Smiley! Maybe we should introduce her to JEM :).

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