I feel like this should be the mantra of all parents: We said we’d never do it, and now here we are.
In our case, we have given in to peer pressure, we have embraced commercialism, we have become those parents.
Parents of kids with Crocs.
It started with Gal Smiley. She needed new sandals this summer. We couldn’t find any we liked. Friends of hers at preschool all had Crocs. Gal Smiley really, really wanted Crocs, too. She asked for them every day.
We tried to buy her some cheapy knock-offs at Zellers. But they didn’t have any small enough to fit her petite feet.
Finally we caved. We justified the $30 by buying a too-big size (which we probably could have gotten at Zellers, naturally), so she can wear them all this coming year. They’ll be her “at school” shoes when she enters JK in the fall.
So Gal Smiley had Crocs. Pretty pale green Crocs.
Captain Jelly Belly wanted Crocs.
At first we said, no way. You have a perfectly good pair of sandals, we said. They have Hot Wheels on them, for heaven’s sake. They’re cool.
But every time Gal Smiley joyfully donned her Crocs, the Captain made that little sad face.
So we tried to buy him some Crocs. But we couldn’t find his size anywhere.
But at Zellers, they got a new shipment in of the knock-offs, and the new shipment included some very, very tiny sizes.
Like these adorable yellow fake-Croc babies. Size 2.
Naturally I had to get them for Little Miss Sunshine. They were too adorable, and only $8. I’m not made of stone, people. And I must say, Little Miss Sunshine adores her fake-Crocs. She runs to get them when we are going out, then blushes with pride as she compares her little feet to Gal Smiley’s.
Also, she is killing it at the mall and grocery store. Like, if I didn’t keep an eye on her and her itty bitty Crocs every single second, at least a dozen little old ladies would try to carry her off. Or maybe just nibble a bit on her cute cute Croc-clad toes.
Today at the mall they were having a sidewalk sale, and know what was out on a table in the mall, for just $20? A lovely pair of blue Crocs in Captain Jelly Belly’s size.
So of course we had to have them. And now our set is complete.
Also on sale at the mall were Jibbitz, which are these little plastic things that you can push into the holes of the Crocs and that are a major fad. Like, ALL the cool kids have them. They were only $1, so I bought a crocodile for the Captain, and a butterfly for Gal Smiley.
On the way home from the mall, they checked them out.
Captain: I love my alligator!
Sir Monkeypants: Actually, it’s a crocodile. Because they are Crocs, get it?
Captain: Know what I’m going to name my alligator? Allie.
Me: How nice. Gal Smiley, would you like to name your butterfly?
Gal Smiley: I don’t know what to call her.
Me: How about Bea?
Gal Smiley: No.
Gal Smiley: No.
Me: Tiny Dancer?
Sir Monkeypants: That’s a STUPID name.
Me: Oh yeah? Then how about STINKY? STINKY THE BUTTERFLY?
Gal Smiley: I LOVE IT.
So now the Captain has a crocodile called Allie, short for alligator. Gal Smiley has a butterfly called Stinky.
And the Crocs rule the roost.