Last night I got overtired and went on a big tirade to poor Sir Monkeypants about Lucy Liu’s shoes. On Elementary, she has quite a snappy wardrobe, all neutral tones in geometric blocks, comfy yet tailored and stylish at the same time. This season she is favouring short skirts and tights, and she always, always, has these little ankle boots on with these outfits, and I hate them. She has the boots in at least three different (neutral) colours, and they are all equally as hideous – super wide at the ankle, I guess so they can be pulled on and off, but they make it look like a) she has duck flippers at the end of her feet, and b) she is going to step right out of them the minute she has to hurry down the street in pursuit of a perp.
This led to a wider discussion (as poor, poor Sir Monkeypants eyed his iPod with wistful longing) of TV fashion in general, and how I am lacking a good TV clothing role model. My problem is that no one on any of the shows we watch wears stuff that I could possibly like and use in real life. Lucy Liu as Watson comes closest, which is probably why I am quite passionate about this shoe issue, but really, her thinness means her clothes would never work on me, plus her black-and-white-and-grey-and-tan colour scheme does not mesh with my love of the jewel tones, plus New York Casual is pretty far away from Suburban Ottawa Casual, not that I couldn’t aspire to something a little fancier now and then (at this, Sir Monkeypants NODS VIGOUROUSLY).
I watch Grey’s Anatomy, but it’s all blue scrubs over there; Alicia on The Good Wife does like some colour, but it’s all wool suits and sensible pumps, not exactly trip-to-the-park-wear. Kate Beckett on Castle has a lovely selection of mid-weight jackets that serve as good inspiration for the two weeks in October and April that they apply here; plus, I’m also very ranty about her footwear, as she’s always running down some alley chasing a bad guy wearing a bullet-proof vest and GIGANTIC HEELS. GAH.
How I Met Your Mother has potential, although Robin’s wardrobe is basically the same as Watson’s (ooh, crossover show potential where they both fight over the same sweater at Macy’s!), and Lily loves designer labels too much for my pocketbook to stand. Ming-na on Agents of SHIELD is too leathery (although, Simmons wears some cute ties) and everyone on The Amazing Race wears too much spandex. Over on The Big Bang Theory, I do like Bernadette’s cardigans and dresses, although I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to run out and buy something similar, while Penny wears plenty of colour but all her stuff is at least two or three times tighter than I’d feel comfortable wearing.
I really should go back to watching Parenthood and Modern Family. I don’t remember what anyone wore on that show, but at least they never inspired a late-night shoe rant. At this rate, all I have to look forward to, clothing-wise, is watching Good Luck Charlie with the kids (ROCK ON, Amy Duncan!).
Wanted: Female television character in her 30s or 40s, with stylish wardrobe, for inspiration. Must not be afraid of colour and must wear cool yet sensible footwear. Small-town casual style preferred.
Is that so hard?