I think it’s time to bite the bullet and become a coffee drinker. I used to brag about how I could live my life easily without caffeine, that even a cup of green tea would give me a buzz because it was so foreign to my body. UGH, I was so freakin’ insufferable in my thirties, don’t you think?
Lately however, I have had real trouble getting up in the morning, then by 2 p.m. I’m ready for a nap, and then by 8:30 p.m. I’m usually passed out on the couch while Sir Monkeypants is putting the last of the children to bed. A grown woman should not need this much sleep, should she?
So I’ve been dipping into the caffeinated coffee stash a little more often lately, been pushing the decaf tea to the back of the cupboard, even sneaking a few sips of Sir Monkeypants’ Pepsi on the side. Just to tide me over, just to get me through. It’s a slippery slope down into full addiction but oh man, I AM READY. Bring on the chemical dependencies!
This weekend we went to the annual Wine and Cheese party hosted by our friends Mike and Mike, and I had two half-glasses of red wine and was totally giddy bonkers. Add to that a bedtime of 1 a.m., and my 6 a.m. Little Miss Sunshine wake-up call was a Serious Groanfest. GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH. I am too old for staying out so late and yet still having a six-year-old. Maybe those teenaged mothers actually know what they’re doing.
To make matters worse, I had to take the Captain and his best buddy LittleBro from next door to a 67s game in the afternoon, so I popped some Advil and got myself a Tim’s at the game, and yet, I MAYBE POSSIBLY had a small nap in the middle of the third period. I admit nothing.
The game, by the way, turned out to be pretty good, ending in a tie, an overtime period, then a thrilling shoot-out during which the 67s won. It was further made fabulous by the ongoing – and I mean ONGOING – commentary provided by the aging gentleman sitting behind me. Picture a full hour’s worth of play time with this going on in back of your head, spoken in a growly monotone:
“come on guys, get it out of there, get it out of there, now set it up, go deep, oh no, oh no, this is terrible, get it out of there, what’s going on here, they are a mess, their passing is terrible, oh no, now set it up, now go deep, this is TERRIBLE, and that will be icing on the back end…”
After the 67s finally scored in the second period I was going to time how long it would take to return to the dire warnings, but they scored again like 15 seconds later, and after that the opposing team scored 1 minute later, then it was the end of the period. So I’m not sure how much of a good-graces period the team is awarded after scoring before we go back to the “THIS IS TERRIBLE” commentary, but I can say that it was back in full force by the time the third period came around.
It all ended well, though, and Commentary Guy actually did help me figure out a lot of things, like who was getting a penalty, and why, and that I could see it all replayed up on the big screen (slow motion replays also getting their own full commentary). So given the choice, I’d actually choose to sit in front of him again.
With a coffee, of course.