I think it’s time to bite the bullet and become a coffee drinker. I used to brag about how I could live my life easily without caffeine, that even a cup of green tea would give me a buzz because it was so foreign to my body. UGH, I was so freakin’ insufferable in my thirties, don’t you think?

Lately however, I have had real trouble getting up in the morning, then by 2 p.m. I’m ready for a nap, and then by 8:30 p.m. I’m usually passed out on the couch while Sir Monkeypants is putting the last of the children to bed. A grown woman should not need this much sleep, should she?

So I’ve been dipping into the caffeinated coffee stash a little more often lately, been pushing the decaf tea to the back of the cupboard, even sneaking a few sips of Sir Monkeypants’ Pepsi on the side. Just to tide me over, just to get me through. It’s a slippery slope down into full addiction but oh man, I AM READY. Bring on the chemical dependencies!

This weekend we went to the annual Wine and Cheese party hosted by our friends Mike and Mike, and I had two half-glasses of red wine and was totally giddy bonkers. Add to that a bedtime of 1 a.m., and my 6 a.m. Little Miss Sunshine wake-up call was a Serious Groanfest. GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH. I am too old for staying out so late and yet still having a six-year-old. Maybe those teenaged mothers actually know what they’re doing.

To make matters worse, I had to take the Captain and his best buddy LittleBro from next door to a 67s game in the afternoon, so I popped some Advil and got myself a Tim’s at the game, and yet, I MAYBE POSSIBLY had a small nap in the middle of the third period. I admit nothing.

The game, by the way, turned out to be pretty good, ending in a tie, an overtime period, then a thrilling shoot-out during which the 67s won. It was further made fabulous by the ongoing – and I mean ONGOING – commentary provided by the aging gentleman sitting behind me. Picture a full hour’s worth of play time with this going on in back of your head, spoken in a growly monotone:

“come on guys, get it out of there, get it out of there, now set it up, go deep, oh no, oh no, this is terrible, get it out of there, what’s going on here, they are a mess, their passing is terrible, oh no, now set it up, now go deep, this is TERRIBLE, and that will be icing on the back end…”

After the 67s finally scored in the second period I was going to time how long it would take to return to the dire warnings, but they scored again like 15 seconds later, and after that the opposing team scored 1 minute later, then it was the end of the period. So I’m not sure how much of a good-graces period the team is awarded after scoring before we go back to the “THIS IS TERRIBLE” commentary, but I can say that it was back in full force by the time the third period came around.

It all ended well, though, and Commentary Guy actually did help me figure out a lot of things, like who was getting a penalty, and why, and that I could see it all replayed up on the big screen (slow motion replays also getting their own full commentary). So given the choice, I’d actually choose to sit in front of him again.

With a coffee, of course.

16 thoughts on “Coffee

  1. Brilliant! I’m well into my coffee addiction. So much that I’m not sure it helps anymore. Despite many coffees, I’m ready for that nap at 2:30pm! And I can easily sleep at 7:30pm although I wake up again at midnight just in time to answer the plaintive screams of one of the children… which then puts me awake until 4:00am again only to repeat the vicious cycle….

    Commentary guy. I know him! He can be useful, but generally I just want to put earplugs in. 😉

  2. CapnPlanet

    It seems to be fairly widely acknowledged that caffeine is one of those rare substances in life – it can really help you and (in moderation) doesn’t seem to be bad for you.

    OTOH I’ve also heard that if you take it regularly, eventually the boost wears off and mostly what you get from it is avoiding the withdrawal from not taking it.

    I’m a devout user of caffeine, always start the day with a cup of tea. I used to have two more during the day, but I’ve since backed down to just the first one, and that seems to be enough to get me through the day.

    But why do you resist the nap? At work, we actually have posters _encouraging_ us to take a nap, and I usually try to take my employer up on that offer every day. Maybe you should just give in – it can be very refreshing, as long as it doesn’t last too long (15-20 minutes is the recommendation).

    BTW your description of Commentary Guy is pretty funny. I can totally picture him (or better, I can totally hear him in my head).

    Fun fact about caffeine: a cup of tea has the same amount of caffeine as a can of coke. Coffee has 2.5 times that much.

    1. I love a good nap. In fact, almost every day I get up and tell myself today, today will be nap day. But somehow the day always slips away from me – between work projects and laundry and library returns, I run out of time. I feel like I need to make napping a stronger priority.

      As for the caffeine levels – I had no idea tea had so much caffeine. I always think of Coke as being way up there with coffee. I guess those crazy Americans who have Coke at breakfast are actually taking it easy…who knew?

  3. smothermother

    I’m still one of those insufferable non-caffeinated people. while i love the smell, i hate what it does to your gut. plus all of the sugar and cream it would take to make it palatable would wreck the waist line i’m sure. but i really should at least have a tea in the afternoon when i am feeling groggy. i like tea,

  4. I’m a coffee drinker. But never past lunchtime. This is just a bad habit that will affect your sleeping at night…so many writers drink coffee in the afternoon and evening and then battle with insomnia…I don’t know. I have enough issues with insomnia without adding caffeinated drinks to my afternoon. 🙂

    I would encourage you to have a coffee in the morning and really truly enjoy it. When you start feeling tired in the afternoons I would suggest lemon water (dehydration and counteracts the acidity that comes from coffee) and protein (not carbs). As much as we tend to crave sweets when tired, it will only make you crash later. Have some hummus with carrots, A hard-boiled egg. Some slices of cheese and salami or some other type of meat (turkey or chicken breast left over from last night). That should help. It helped me, and after a week of withdrawal from wanting to reach for those tasty sweets I didn’t crave them anymore. (And they taste twice as good when I’m not in the middle of an afternoon tired-slump.)

    Good luck! Let us know how it went!

    1. CapnPlanet

      +1 for toughing out the withdrawal period when switching your diet. You’ll be surprised how quickly your cravings will adapt (it just won’t happen overnight).

      1. Me too. I am always amazed at how easy it is to avoid sweets if I just suffer few the first few days cold turkey. Then, after a few weeks of good behaviour, I’ll reward myself with a cookie and suddenly my chocolate cravings are back in full force. It’s terrible!

        Hm…just realized I only ever drink coffee when it’s loaded with sugar. NOW I’m in a pickle.

  5. I go to sleep dreaming of the coffee I’m going to drink in the morning. Yes, it is that bad. Starbucks and I have had an illicit affair going on behind my husband’s back since I discovered grande non-fat lattes. On the plus side, I get my caffeine kick and a serving of dairy. On the negative side…wait, there is no negative side!

  6. tea. only tea. lots of tea. I like tea.

    but seriously, I have the caffeinated version in the morning- first thing and then mid morn, and then de-caf afternoon.

    have your had your iron levels checked lately> low iron is a common cause of fatigue and it seem all my girlfriends in their (cough) 40’s, incl myself, are on iron now.

    1. Yes, I suspect iron is a problem for me, too. I try to take a supplement two or three times a week, but it really upsets my stomach so I have to steel myself up for it. Why is aging soooooo haaaaaard????? WHINE.

      1. Also thyroid. Mine stopped working when I had my kids. Low thyroid can make you cold and lethargic (and add five pounds). Often low thyroid and low iron go hand-in-hand. It’s a simple blood test to get your thyroid levels checked. Now that I’m on synthroid I have to have them checked pretty regularly to make sure my dosage is right. I handle it fine and I HATE needles.

  7. I discovered a couple of years ago that one glass of wine makes me fall asleep. I stopped drinking wine. (Haven’t started coffee yet, though.)

    As far as iron, Proferrin is supposedly easier to take than some other iron pills – you get it at the pharmacy, but no prescription is required (although you should probably talk to your doctor first). I can always tell I’m low on iron when I start daydreaming about hamburgers.

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