I just got back from the dentist’s office, where we spent 10 minutes comparing our trips to PEI this summer (TOLD you everyone from Ottawa was there), and then 10 minutes talking about our kids’ first week at school, then 3 minutes replacing the world’s smallest filling. I love my dentist, she’s just so incredibly nice and friendly, and also, so gentle I could practically sleep in the chair.

Sadly, however, my hygienist, while being a super, super nice lady, is a little too aggressive with my teeth, I find, and often after a cleaning I am sore afterwards. Right now I have an aching tooth that has been bothering me for six weeks, since (bingo!) I had my last cleaning, but the dentist today couldn’t find anything wrong with it, just general inflammation. You know how Elaine on Seinfeld got a reputation for being a “difficult patient” and then no doctor in New York would see her? I’m on like, my fifth dentist in this town and I am not interested in changing, but I do wish switching to one of the other hygienists – all five of us in the family have a different hygienist – wasn’t such an awkward etiquette issue, you know?

Also, it is REMOTELY possible I am an overly sensitive Problem Patient. But I DOUBT IT.

(Sideline to this post: discovered that I have been spelling “hygienist” wrong for the past 40 years. MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING.)

In other traumas, Sir Monkeypants and I started watching Orange is the New Black last night. It’s an excellent show, gripping and engrossing and compelling, and yet, SO FREAKING HORRIFYING. I would definitely be dead after three days in jail. Dead from the stress alone. I now live in complete fear that I’m going to randomly touch a stranger’s bag in a store and end up with cocaine on my hands and have to go to prison. THEY DON’T LET YOU BLOG FROM PRISON. Dead, I tell you. Three days max.

(But I wonder if they have a good dentist. Hm.)

12 thoughts on “Filling

  1. I’ve been meaning to start Orange is the New Black but I’m still on Breaking Bad and there are only three episodes left until it’s done forever, and aiiiieeee there’s only so much television stress I can take.

  2. Keeping in mind I am not a camp person – I put that right up front – but many of the more mundane / less shocking aspects of Orange is the New Black reminded me of overnight camps – lack of privacy, terrible food with no choice, complete regimentation of the day – so, for that reason alone I would not do well in prison.

    Also, unlike House of Cards and Homeland, which we devoured, we watched the first two episodes of OitNB, and now it seems we’ve quit. Haven’t watched another episode in WEEKS, at any rate. This seems to buck the general “binge-watching” Netflix trend so many shows trigger.

    1. Oooh…Homeland is on NetFlix? We’ve watched Season 1 but haven’t seen any of Season 2. BINGE WATCH IMMINET.

      As for Orange is the New Black – I said to Sir Monkeypants yesterday that I can’t NOT watch, because I need to believe that everything will eventually be okay, but each new episode (so far) has just brought on more and more terrible situations,so I’m not sure how much more I can take. EEP.

  3. I live under a rock which is why I am completely out of touch with tv. Last night for example I was so exhausted I fell asleep while watching Terms of Engagement. Wasn’t that guy Elaine’s boyfriend Puddy? Funny….then I had insomnia and at 2 am tuned in and watched Breaking Amish LA. That is currently my tv-watching-life. har har

    But your dentist and hygienist story put a smile on my face. 🙂 It also reminded me to find a new dentist since the old one retired, his replacement is probably very nice but all the way in another town where I grew up but don’t live in now and it would be too much hassle to stay at that office. I’ll put it on my lengthy to do list.

    It never ends.

  4. I’ve watched Orange is the New Black (devoured it!) and Homeland (loved it!) – I think I’ll try House of Cards next (thanks @Tudor!) Binge watching shows on Netflix is perfect when you’re nursing a baby 🙂
    I love my dentist too and found my hygienist too rough also, then I switched to a different hygienist and she was just as rough and not as nice. Sensitive gums and feelings on me I guess.
    *I also copy and pasted “hygienist” from your post cause I’ve been spelling it wrong too!

    1. Aha! Your hygienist story has led me to believe that maybe it’s not her – it’s me? So perhaps the devil you know is still best. I’m curious though – how did you make the hygienist switch without having to avoid the old hygienist forever?

  5. True story. I actually bit my hygienist once. On purpose. I was 18.

    I had recently had my wisdom teeth out (like a week prior) and wanted to reschedule my appointment but the receptionist assured me that wasn’t necessary, they would do a gentle cleaning and steer clear of the affected areas . . . all four of them.

    I reminded the hygienist of that fact before she started and only minutes later she was poking around in the holes in my gums where stitches still remained. I moaned and squirmed to no avail. So, when I tasted blood, I ever so gently yet firmly closed my teeth around her fingers.

    She pulled her fingers out and stared at me in horror. I got up and left, and swore I’d have someone’s head on a platter just a soon as my mouth stopped bleeding.

    Needless to say, me and hygienists rarely get along. Don’t cross me, yo.

  6. Is it really a big deal to ask for another hygienist? I request specific ones for me and my kids all the time (really I’m requesting to NOT have a specific one, but I disguise it, so I do know what you mean). My gums used to hurt for days after cleaning too, but not at this place. I also have problems with over-zealous pedicurists. I know – you and me, we’re sensitive.

    I’ve been heartily disgusted with everyone’s love of OITNB because I hated and scathingly reviewed the book, but I’m consoling myself with the probability that the show has as much to do with the book as World War Z the movie did with World War Z the book.

    1. I forgot you’d given the book a bad review. If it’s any consolation, my curiousity about the TV show led me to the “real” Piper’s sort-of blog, a website she and her fiancee kept while she was actually in prison. It definitely had a sort of smug tone to it that I did not care for.

      The show must have changed a lot because I just cannot believe that all that horror happened to one person. (Pause while I re-read your review.) Ah yes – definitely the show has a much darker, grimmer tone than the book. First of all, there’s plenty of threats for “Piper,” physical, sexual, and psychological. Secondly, many of the other characters – I assume all are fictional – are profiled, to the point where we are seeing their whole backstories, how they would up in jail, and what is potentially waiting for them when they get out.

      So seems they took the idea, and then did do their best to make an all-female Oz. Wonder if the real Piper is watching and realizes how shallow her book was!

  7. After one particularly bad visit to the dentist my teeth ached for days, so for years after that I refused to let my hygienist floss my teeth. No way, uh uh, don’t even THINK of going there. When I switched dentists I gave the knew hygienist a chance and it was much better. So definitely feel free to ask for another one when you make your next appointment.

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