The library opens at 10 a.m.
I have to pick up Gal Smiley from kindergarten at 10:25 a.m.
It takes about 12 minutes to drive from the library to the school, plus a few extra minutes to buckle Little Miss Sunshine into and out of her car seat.
Thus, the Little Miss and I have perfected what I like to call, the Library Smash And Grab.
First, we arrive a minute or two before 10, and linger outside the locked doors. The second the librarian shows up with the keys — usually a minute or two late, I might add, like, lady, we are ON A SCHEDULE HERE — we rush in.
First stop, the holds shelf, where I pick up whatever is waiting for me. Elapsed time: one minute.
Second stop, the kids’ section. I pick one picture-book shelf and sit in front of it. I pull out several interesting titles and try to quickly identify two or three books with minimal words, for the Little Miss, and two or three with more words for Gal Smiley. Bonus if we can find anything involving sheep, ballerinas, bicycles, airplanes, or pirates. Elapsed time: four minutes.
Third stop, bigger kids area. This is a big section so I head straight for the P section, to pick up anything that is in by Dav Pilkey (the Captain is, somewhat appropriately, on a Captain Underpants kick). If I have an extra moment or two, I’ll pop over to S to see what’s in by Louis Sachar. Elapsed time: three minutes.
Fourth stop, Little Miss extraction. While I’ve been speed-browsing, the Little Miss has usually pulled out at least four or five board books from the baby bin and is settled into a table with 90% of her clothing removed. I have one minute to dress her and talk her out of taking home any titles that we already own at home (she’s drawn to the books she recognizes, and it’s hard to convince her that her own copy is still waiting in her bedroom). Usually we end up with at least one board book that she refuses to part with. Elapsed time: one minute. If I’m lucky.
Fifth stop, checkout. The library staff are amazingly quick. Usually the slowest part of the process is finding my library card. Then it’s bleep bleep bloop, and we’re done. Elapsed time: one minute.
Total library visit: 10 minutes. Off to pick up the Gal!
TurtleHead 
lol! love the comment nick left. i have to say tha my head is spinning just from reading your post.
Awesome. Our library has self-checkout and I’m still not sure I could beat you.
Total library visit: 10 minutes,
Instilling a forever love of libraries in your children: timeless.
Even a few minutes of smash and grab library time is so worth it. (Love your play by play of it!) Our kids feel so at home in the library. Owen said on Friday “I can’t wait until Tuesday – It’s library day!” Forget the happy weekend business, it was all about his beloved books.
You’re a better woman (library secret agent) than I am — I choke under time pressure like that.
That is incredibly impressive.
Our local library is DIRE and has ONE room and we still can’t get out of there in less than 40 minutes. I bow to you.
I’m impressed!! 🙂 And a little bit stuck on: “kindergarten is done at 10:25?!
I could imagine that gettign her dressed and out of there would be the hardest part! Impressive!
10:25 AM??????????????????????????????????????
I have been bitching all year about my two getting off the bus at 11:00 (school lets out at 10:55). I will never complain again. I stand corrected. You have less time in the morning with one child than I do.
Don’t you hate those things that open at 10:00??? We are always at Costco when it opens, we run in and do all our stuff and then wait in the horrendous line up, stressing every second about whether or not I will miss the bus.
I haven’t missed it yet, but one day he was THREE minutes early and was waiting there at the bus stop while I drove my van up the street. They got off and I informed him he was early and he just smiled 🙂