First let me assure you all that FameThrowa is NOT pregnant. It’s my youngest sister, LittleSis, who is expecting next month. I’m the second oldest of four girls, so I have two younger sisters.
And now, let us address the issue of the turkey. First of all, it wasn’t an actual turkey, but rather, a turkey roll, which is a weird processed food-like item where they take raw turkey meat, white and dark, and debone it and form it into a football-shaped object encased in skin and strings that hold it all together.
Then, you’re supposed to put it in the oven for a much smaller amount of time, cooking from frozen, and slice it like a meatloaf for serving. Easy breezy!
So my older sister, SocialButterfly, says that the problem was that I had two of them, and I put them both in the same giant pan, instead of cooking them in their own smaller pans. I followed the directions on the package (for one) but at the assigned end time — when all my other side dishes were nicely finishing, as I had timed everything perfectly — the turkey was still raw in the middle.
So we wound up cutting it up anyway, and then putting the slices in the microwave to finish cooking, which I’m sure you can imagine was SUPER yummy. Actually, it was still fairly edible after the nuking, it was just hard to enjoy with the lingering thoughts of SALMONELLA in everyone’s mind.
Also, while dealing with the uncooked turkey I said, “FUCK!” in front of my mother, which may actually make her forget about that time she popped over for a surprise visit only to find us all out and our front door ajar. Now we can replace that story with the time Lynn messed up Thanksgiving dinner and said the F-word!
Really, though, I am focusing on the positives. Really!