Dance! Show!

Tonight is the prime time premiere of So You Think You Can Dance, American edition. I’ll BE THERE.

Meanwhile, tonight is also another elimination episode of So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I really, really wish that SYTYCD Canada would hire me to do the eliminations on this show. It’s not that I’m mean or I enjoy confrontation — quite the opposite. But the judges on Canada — Jean-Marc gives the bad news to the girls, Tre breaks it to the men — SUCK SO BAD. They never offer meaningful feedback or any hint as to how they reached their decisions; they either try for fake drama very, very poorly, or “get it over with quickly” with no build up or information. SUCKS.

Memo to Jean-Marc and Tre — here’s how to eliminate someone with style:

1. Ask one of the three dancers to step forward. This may be someone who is leaving or someone who is going home — shake it up week to week, but do not blindly alternate between staying/going, because that is stupid.

2. If the dancer is staying, start by giving them a tough lecture on why they ended up in the bottom three, and what they need to do to improve, then “shock” the audience by sending them to safety. If it’s someone who obviously does not belong in the bottom three, because Canada does not know how to use a telephone properly, then don’t mess around, just send them to safety.

3. If the dancer is not staying, tell them you love them and they have so much potential, but they didn’t connect with the audience/have chemistry with their partner/show versatility/wear the right costumes/whatever. And home they go.

4. If the first dancer was sent to safety, address the remaining two dancers. Give them some quick feedback — “Dancer One, you have great lines and strength, but you just haven’t developed as much as we would like to see. Dancer Two, you have amazing personality, but your technique is weak.” Maybe mention if the judges were unanimous or not, Nigel loves that on the American version. Then, Dancer X is the one going home.


Also, I really, really, REALLY wish that whoever writes Leah Miller’s script would knock it off with the super-annoying fake-out crap, like, “You will have to dance for your lives…ANOTHER TIME!” Oh yes, messing with the dancers and the audience, to the point where we no longer understand what the hell she is saying — so, are they safe? are they dancing? I don’t even think Leah knows! — is STUPID.

In unrelated news, I noticed this morning while writing a cheque that today is 09/09/09. That’s cool.

5 thoughts on “Dance! Show!

  1. My daughter is a big fan of both these shows so I catch bits of them here and there and I can’t believe how sappy and annoying the Canadian version is by comparison. No one ever gives any real criticism – it’s all just touchy feely and lots of GIVING IT UP for everyone under the sun. Even daughter turned it off halfway through last night because it was, quote “LAME” unquote. I don’t remember it being this nauseating last season.

  2. Oh! My! God! I could not agree more. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that in my original post — the overwhelming positiveness of the judges is just SO CLOYING. Your praise does not matter if you never, ever, ever say anything negative! Your so-called “expert opinion” is of no value if you say the same thing to every dancer!

    And yet I watch. It’s a disease.

  3. I have to admit that when I get around to watching the show (I am two weeks behind UGH) I always, ALWAYS fast forward through everything but the dancing. Especially with the Canadian version. Leah drives me nuts (almost as much as Tre) and I can’t stand watching her talk with those collagen lips. AHHHH.

  4. mel

    I completely agree, Lynn, and with all of the comments (especially about Leah’s scary lips). If they’re ever looking for a new judge, I’ll nominate you!

    Also, I’m SO sick of the judges telling the female dancers, “You’re a beast!”

  5. There is a word in French “quétaine” — it’s hard to define but it’s sort of cheesy (in a very negative way.) Jean-Marc with his VID — VID sounds like what you get when you have unprotected sex with the guy you met at the bar.

    The no-feedback thing kills me. Not every thing is great. Some of it, frankly, was god awful. And what is up with the ballroom this season? Do they all suck? Let the really good stuff shine, by pointing out the not so good.

    I also wonder if they are watching the same routines I am. That Samba this week sucked monkey balls. (They deserved the bottome three.) The hustle? Not good at all. The rhumba… good god BAD BAD BAD.

    (Daniel — total hot, Everet too. But Emanuel just can’t pull off straight hot guy, he just looks oafish and slly.

    Sorry needed to get that off my chest.

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