Last night we were watching The Amazing Race on TV, and the winners of this leg of the race won a trip to the Galapagos Islands.
I thought, “Oh man, that would be such a fantastic trip.”
Then I thought, “I feel sick even thinking about an imaginary trip in which I would be apart from the kids for eight days.”
Sad, I know. And possibly unhealthy. At least, I expect my future teenagers to think so. Sorry kids, that house party you were hoping to throw while your parents were backpacking in France? Never gonna happen.
I remember when I was a teen, I was very concerned about the fact that my mother’s whole life was her kids. She didn’t have her school secretary job yet, and she didn’t have any hobbies or things she liked to do. She’d been divorced for a few years and hadn’t kept in touch with most of her pre-divorce friends, and dating was out of the question. I definitely thought it was a major problem for all of us that my mother didn’t get out more, and have more fun.
I felt a lot of pressure on us to fill up her life, and I worried constantly about what would happen when we all moved out. And in fact, when my youngest sister was in her last year of high school and preparing to go to university, there was a lot of talk from my mom about how she wasn’t needed any more, about how she should just move to another country where she could die alone.
Sheesh.
So now, I must say, I’m on the other side of the coin, and I can see that I’m going to be just like her. I do try to keep my hand in various social activities and sports and hobbies and whatnot. But still, being a mom is my chief job. The fretting never ends, does it?
Once the kids move out, here’s how I predict I’ll be spending my days (click to enlarge);
If need be, I can dump that personal hygiene slice to make room for more fretting and emailing. You can never have too much!
TurtleHead 
I think, while being a mom will always be your number one priority, as the kids age you get a little tired of being a mom 24/7. I was very single-minded when mine was younger, too. Now, it’s nice when she’s out of the house for a day or two or when I can go away for a few hours (I still wouldn’t leave her home alone over night — but soon…soon). I think this is a natural development in most humans — as the child becomes more independent, the parents are ready to reclaim their lives – spend more time on their own pursuits, with their own friends or with their spouse. Were you happy when the kids could finally walk so you wouldn’t have to carry or push them everywhere? Were you happy when they could feed themselves so you wouldn’t have to sit and shovel food into them? So, much as you enjoy being a mom, you’ll enjoy each of their little steps toward independance and go dancing in the streets when they’re adults and you can be free (until they need you to babysit the grandkids, of course)
So true. I think the biggest reason that I can’t imagine taking a trip (or something like that) is that my kids are still really little, and there really isn’t anyone I could see them being comfortable with for a few days. Once they grow up, my attitudes will hopefully change too!
I totally understand what you mean. I have trouble imagining being away for that long, too.
Our plan is for hubby and I do to a week-long trip (hopefully to Paris) for our tenth wedding anniversary. That gives us four more years to work up to the stage where we can be away from the kids for an entire week. So far the longest we’ve ever done is about 36 hours, so we have to start building on that so a week doesn’t kill us.
I have friends with kids of similar ages to ours who’ve had trips away for a week or even two apart from the kids. They’ve managed it. It’s definitely possible…I just have to get myself used to the idea.
I agree, it’s all about the tolerance! I think our biggest problem is that we don’t live close to our parents, and leaving the kids overnight with the kids’ aunts or maybe just some friends seems like a huge favour to ask, too big for me to feel comfortable.
I think we need to hire a local grandma :).
My husband and I are in the same boat. There is no one I feel comfortable leaving my daughter with (even overnihgt!). I used to be an avid traveller in my pre-marriage/child days and I miss that life a lot. That being said, my husband and I wouldn’t have any problem bringing my 5 year daughter with us wherever we decided to go, Whether that be India, Australia, Europe or Africa. Travelling with children can be very rewarding and highly educational for them. So why not take the kids to the Galapagos?
I used to hear about people who took their kids to faraway places and I’d think they were crazy. But now I’m starting to see the appeal. We’re going to try a few weekend trips this summer and see how it goes…hopefully it whets our appetite for adventure!
Oh I think my days will be very much the same. I’m already trying to get them to sign a contract saying they won’t move out of town. So far they aren’t biting.