Yesterday the Wee One finally took the concept of Rolling From Back To Front and the concept of Rolling From Front To Back and put them together, to form the Theory Of Advanced Locomotion.
My little baby sister can do it with me! It’s easy as learning your ABCs!
Suddenly, I find that when I put the baby down on her playmat as usual…she is missing when I get back. Even if I’ve just stepped away for a moment to pee or flip the pancakes or frantically search for the friggin’ cordless phone in a vain attept to find it before the machine picks up. In just a few seconds she’s long gone, wedged under the ottoman or underneath the couch or shoved into the gap between the wall unit and the window.
She’s also thisclose to sitting up on her own now, so whenever we put her into one of her many, many chairs, she uses her power abs to pull herself away from a purely slouching position and tries to actively get out of the chair. Years from now she’s really going to regret all those hours of couch potato action she gave up, all in the name of showing off her muscular development. Lounge now while ye still can, my dear!
All of this movement and reaching of new places and things has led to a new, unexpected level of childproofing around here. We never had to worry about the other two very much, but now with the Wee One, there’s a host of stuff on the floor that should not be there. Hot Wheels cars with tiny break-offable parts, a bunch of paper clips that have come out of the Blue’s Clues board game box (“magically,” of course), ground-up crumbs from someone’s bowl of Captain Crunch. Fish food that’s been spilled by eager preschoolers, a bead or two that fell during today’s bracelet making session, Gal Smiley’s special sleep friend Shearly that is like catnip to the Wee One but clearly has TOUCH IT AND YOU DIE written across its back.
Oh, and there’s also the Wee One’s Holy Grail — the TV remote — floating around down there too. It’s quite the festival of Baby Don’t Touch.
We’ve been through two babies already so I kind of feel like I know everything there is to know about parenting by now, like, Dr. Spock wishes he had my kind of experience and wisdom. But this child proofing thing is kind of new. We hardly ever used a playpen with our other two kids, because there wasn’t any need to keep them contained. Suddenly I do see the reasoning behind it — a nice safe place for the baby to play, and I’ll actually be able to find her when I need her.
Until Captain Jelly Belly figures out that it would make a really awesome parking garage. And Gal Smiley decides to use it as a bed for Shearly.
I guess this old dog needs a couple of new tricks!