This video has like, 15 million views on YouTube, so you’ve probably already seen it. However, I just got it this morning in my inbox from my friend Sarah, and peed myself laughing, so it was a must-share. SWIPER NO SWIPING. Hee!
Easing Into Summer Vacation
For the past three years, we’ve had summers that were, in a word – awesome. This year, so far – less than. Is it the weather? The kids? The really bad hair days? Hm.
The Captain and the Little Miss were never bosom buddies, but this summer they seem hell bent on pressing each other’s buttons until one of them dies – or more likely, until I kill them both. We’re on, what is this, day four of the summer break? And already I cannot count the number of times I have yelled, or separated children, or sent everyone to their rooms so they could THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY’VE DONE, and seriously? That is less than awesome.
Plus, we are doing daily swim lessons these first two weeks. I am a big believer in swimming as a Life Skill, so the kids all take lessons even though they are not big fans. We have found that the daily summer lessons do more to advance their skills than any once-weekly type classes, so we do it every year, but oy vey, does it ever eat up your day. This year, I could only get all three of them in sequentially, so it’s one kid in and out, then another kid in and out, then third kid in and out, all the while I’m fighting to defend our chairs from poachers and encouraging the kids to do some math worksheets in the steaming hot crazy noise and struggling not to think about what my feet are currently touching.
It’s two full hours in the pool area each day, and right now my hair looks like this:
NO JOKE.
Our lessons are sort of late morningish, and then we come home and the girls are STARVING. They eat and eat and eat – we have been through a week’s worth of groceries in the past three days. And then the Captain? Who you may remember is on the small side? Declares he just “isn’t hungry right now,” this despite it being hours since he last ate and with exercise in between. Head, meet wall.
So that leaves a very small window of time in the afternoon, mostly devoted to me yelling at the children in between them begging to play video games. We did make it to the Museum of Nature yesterday, where they declared the Oil exhibit to be “stupid” and “boring” (in actually: Earth-shattering and fascinating and life-changing and deeply meaningful and you should go NOW, but without any stupid and boring children in tow).
And we also did make it downtown for Canada Day, where I learned that if you envision yourself and your children spreading out a blanket to enjoy a picnic lunch during the noonday concert you are LAUGHINGLY IGNORANT of the whole Canada Day On The Hill situation, and also, you need to pack more water than that, and also, stilts would not be uncalled for. But I was within 800 metres or so of Chris Hadfield! So it was worth all the arm and back pain from holding up kids who could see nothing and could barely breathe in the heat of the crowd! Right? RIGHT?
So! To sum up: my hair looks like ass, I’m losing my voice from all the yelling, and my kids may be dead by the end of the week. Awesome, no?
At least I have Dance Show to keep me warm. GAH.
Canada Day in Ottawa
I’d usually put this info up on my Facebook page, so I apologize to those of you reading from outside Ottawa. It’s just overwhelming, though, the amount of stuff that goes on in this city for Canada Day – it was so much that it was just easier for me to put it all into one blog post.
And bonus: if you’re not from Ottawa, maybe this list will convince you to plan a visit. It’s a long weekend this year! And again in three years, if you need more time to get it together! Call me, we’ll hang out.
Anyway, here’s what’s up this year.
The Big One
Parliament Hill – The Official Celebration. Most people in Ottawa avoid the hill, actually, because GAH, the crowds. However, I’m heading down there this year because CHRIS FREAKING HADFIELD. Oh yeah. The full Parliament Hill schedule is here, including a midday concert from noon to 1:30, and then an evening show starting at 7:30 pm and ending at 10 with fireworks. You can see the full concert lineup here, which includes Carly Rae Jepsen, Metric, and oh, I may have mentioned it already, CHRIS FREAKING HADFIELD (all of which will appear at both the noon and evening shows).
Remember that OC Transpo buses are free all day, running on a holiday schedule. It’s the best way to get downtown – most of the streets north of Laurier are closed, anyway – and it’s pretty much the only way to get OUT of downtown, especially if you’ve stayed into the evening.
Although the action is centred on the hill itself, there’s also tons of activities in Majors Hill Park, and (even better for kids) across the river at Jacques Cartier Park. Lots of food, music, buskers, crafts, and kids’ games and activities to explore – just wander around the two parks and you’ll never be short of things to do. There is a free shuttle bus that runs between the two parks, although if you’re energetic it’s just as fast to walk, especially if you have a stroller you’d have to unpack and fold up.
There’s also live jazz music going on in Confederation Park and at Marion Dewar Plaza, courtesy of the Ottawa Jazz Festival, and if you’re looking for lunch or dinner, consider the PC Eat Fleet Tour, which will be on the Plaza Bridge.
If you do decide to stay for the fireworks, first of all, you are made of much stronger stuff than I am. But I salute you hardier types, and remind you that in addition to the hill, you can also see the fireworks from Majors Hill Park, Victoria Island, Jacques Cartier Park, and the Museum of Civilization. Just don’t get caught on the wrong side of the river – the Alexandra Bridge is closed to pedestrians after 6 p.m.
Other Municipal Celebrations
Canada Day in Kanata will feature jumpy castles, a full midway, puppet shows, face painting, and concerts all day, including headliners Trooper.
Canada Day in Stittsville will feature bouncy castles, Ray’s Reptiles, crafts, and concerts all day including headliners Amos The Transparent.
Canada Day in Barrhaven will feature a midway, kids’ zone, a battle of the bands, fireworks, and music all day including headliners Alter Ego.
The Greater Orleans Canada Day Celebration will feature bouncy castles, magic shows, beach volleyball, appearances by Disney princesses, Radical Science, and musical acts including headliners Off The Menu.
Riverside South is having a kid-centred celebration in Claudette Cain Park between 10am and 2pm, featuring a BBQ, bouncers, a petting zoo, face painting, performances by Junkyard Symphony, and OMG FREE COTTON CANDY. DROOL.
National Museums
The Canadian Museum of Agriculture and Food has free admission on July 1, as well as activities all day including ice cream making, “patriotic” muffin making, and a chance to pet bunnies and lambs (aaaawwww). There’s also horse and wagon rides for an extra fee.
The Currency Museum is doing a whole crazy circus theme and is free from 10:30 onwards. Pop by for magicians, balloon animals, and free ice cream.
The Museum of Civilization has free admission on Canada Day, and has a few special activities going on. Also, it’s a great place to stay out of the heat all day, and then catch the fireworks across the river that night.
The Museum of Science and Tech has free admission on Canada Day. They don’t seem to have any specific Canada Day stuff going on, but July 1 is the first day of their summer programming, which includes tours of the artifacts storage building, rides on a real life steam locomotive, tours of the lighthouse, and outdoor experiments (seriously, SO FUN).
The Museum of Aviation is free on Canada Day has has a ton of fun stuff going on, including rocketing experiments, crafts, visits from the Canadian Forces Military Police, and a flyover by the Snowbirds at 3 p.m.
The War Museum is free on Canada Day and is also open later than usual, until 9 p.m. There are three special Canada Day exhibits running all Canada Day long weekend, including one on battlefield medicine, one on the typical First World War soldier’s kit, and one on the typical Second World War soldier’s kit. Plus, it’s a nice cool place to duck into if you’re overheating in the downtown crowds.
The National Gallery of Canada is free on Canada Day and although I couldn’t find any special stuff going on, it’s a cool and quiet place to take a break and maybe explore some really amazing Canadian art.
The National Arts Centre (NAC) has tons of free stuff going on all day, including free concerts, crafts for kids, a beer garden (not free, sadly) and a BBQ from 11 to 2 (also not free, also sadly).
The Museum of Nature doesn’t seem to have any special programming on, but they are opening a few ant-themed activities, workshops, and a scavenger hunt this weekend (to run all summer). Admission is free on July 1 to the permanent galleries (special exhibits and 3D movies still cost extra).
The Royal Canadian Mint also doesn’t have any special programming, but tours are free on Canada Day, and with its prime downtown location (320 Sussex), it’s a great opportunity to just pop in (and cool off), and see what they’re all about.
City Museums
The Diefenbunker has free admission and tours on Canada Day. There’s also face painting, a postcard craft, live music, and yummy treats.
The Bytown Museum has free admission to their regular exhibits on the main floor (it’s $2 to see the special exhibits on the upper floor). Their cafe serves lemonade and ice cream (for a fee) to help get through the hot afternoon.
Billings Estate is a great place for a quiet Canada Day picnic, and they’ll be doing a make-your-own-flag craft as well ($16 family, $10 couple, $6 person).
Cumberland Heritage Village Museum is doing a really cool thing, where they recreate the Government’s official recommendations for Dominion Day celebrations in 1927. Bring a picnic and celebrate with traditional games, crafts, and fun ($18 family, $7 adults, $5 students).
Pinhey’s Point is doing a traditional picnic and BBQ, featuring classic games like three-legged races and tug-o-war ($16 family, $10 couple, $6 person).
And More…
Believe it or not, there’s actually even more to do. The Escapade Music Festival is going all weekend, and will be putting together electronic music performances in ByWard Market. There’s free parking at most beaches, parks, and the Mackenzie King Estate. There’s Aboriginal Experiences going on at Victoria Island. And there’s smaller community celebrations in Greely, Almonte, Carleton Place, North Grenville, and Oxford Mills – info on all these can be found at OttawaStart’s fabulously comprehensive Canada Day page.
Little.
The other day, I was chatting with a friend and she was lamenting about how small her son is. At eight years old, he’s just 59 pounds, and his six-year-old sister is catching up. They’ve been worried about it and working to help him gain a little weight.
Now, I don’t like to brag, but when it comes to small sons, I win, every single time. You think your kid is skinny? You think your kid is short? You think your kid is little?
Yeah. The Captain is little. At age 10, he weighs just 51 pounds. (Actually, since Gal Smiley at age almost-9 also weighs 51 pounds, he likes to point out that he weighs 51 POINT EIGHT pounds, which is TOTALLY BIGGER.) He’s the shortest in his class, at four foot two. Given that it’s a combo 4-5 class, there are some real big guys in there with him, making him look even tinier. I’m always worried that one of the other kids in the class is going to huff and puff and blow him away.
He never expresses any concern about it, and he has friends and buddies and fits in okay and it’s all good. But sometimes, I’ll catch a glimpse of him with his school mates and see that, oh my heavens, he is SMALL. The other day, I was picking up the Little Miss from kindergarten and we saw his class heading into the gym for an assembly, and it was like tall, tall, tall, SUPER SHORT DUDE, tall, tall, tall. I was a little alarmed.
So lately I’ve been all about the chips, and ice cream, and pie (he has discovered pie!!! He’s my child after all!!!). His lunches have cookies every day. I worry, oh I worry, about what he’s eating, about how much he’s eating, and how much he’s gaining, or not.
Gal Smiley is small too, the smallest and shortest in her class (it’s genetics), but it’s never as big a deal when it’s a girl, is it? Little girls can be sweet and charming. Little guys can be pushed around. NOT FAIR.
All this is to say, there’s no resting easy when you’re a parent, is there? There’s always something. This one is too big, this one is too small. This one has a weird rash, this other one sniffles all the time for no apparent reason. One has too many friends, questionable friends, not enough friends, no friends.
I have a happy, healthy, smart, and funny kid. He’s also small. There’s just has to be something to worry about, doesn’t there? A mother’s mind is never at rest. GAH.
Dance It Out, Cat Deely
Daaaaaaance. Shooooooow. How do I love thee? Let’s count the ways, shall we? I finally got around to watching the Top 20 selection/highlight-of-their-style show, and it was awesome, and I loved it, and now I feel the overwhelming need to pick out some favourites. Warning! I am, like, the WORST person ever at predicting how America is going to vote. The fact that I am actually singling out these people probably means they will be the bottom three in week number one. And yet! I can’t help myself.
These are the ones to watch, in my opinion:
The Boys
Tucker. I don’t usually pay much attention to the contemporary dancers – they’re all usually pretty and technically good and interchangeable. But Tucker has caught my eye – maybe it’s the hair. He reminds me strongly of Jakob of season 6, who I ADORED, who should have won over Russell (no offense Russell, but SERIOUSLY). I have high hopes for him.
Jade. He’s short. Also, he’s fabulous. I love his dancing, like ten bear. Plus, he sparkles with personality, plus, he has a lot of personal and dance growing to do. He’s a success story waiting to happen – if he can click with his partner, he’s gold.
Aaron. He’s the tapper who thought he was out, then squeaked through at the last minute when hip-hopper Emilio had to withdraw. I like it that he looks, every single second of the time, like he really can’t believe he’s actually there. It’s all a dream, Anthony! That means you can fly, buddy.
The Girls
Mariah. OMG I LOVE MARIAH. I don’t know why they didn’t talk about this at all, but she actually made it to Vegas last year on the strength of her shockingly good krump audition, but then was cut mid-week. This time, she’s made it to the show and I am blissed out. Love her dancing, love her face, love her personality – she’s my favourite.
Jenna. I love her smile, I love her dancing, I love her hair. I can’t think of a ballroom dancer I have liked as much since Chelsie Hightower. (Oh wait – just remembered both Witney and Lindsay from last season. Well, whatever, I have love enough for them all.) I find Jenna stands out from the crowd and since she’s ballroom, will likely be protected by the judges for at least a few weeks.
Alexis. She’s the tapper girl. Granted, I have a real soft spot for tappers, as I am one myself. But I like her sparkle, and I really like that she doesn’t have the traditional dancer look. She’s got a bit of a learning curve ahead of her, I think – likely to be early out, I predict – but I still have my fingers crossed for her. Rock it, tap girl!
They Say We’ll Have Some Fun If It Stops Raining
Just a quick post to say my latest column for Capital Parent is now up. See you over there!
Summer of Awesome 2013
Okay, be up front with me now. There’s some sort of rift in the space-time continuum, and time has been cut in half, right? It’s some sort of NASA secret I’m sure, but I’m on to them. There’s just no possible other explanation for how fast June is flying by.
When the kids were really little, it used to take us at least an hour to get out of the house, between making sure everyone had peed and eaten and had packed a small suitcase of snacks and activities. I used to dream about how much more time we’d have on our hands once the kids were old enough to put on their own jackets and shoes and get themselves ready.
And yes it’s true, it now takes us about 10 minutes to get out the door, but the problem now is that we are going out the door about 16 times a day, it seems, between soccer and swimming lessons and end-of-year parties and me rushing, rushing, rushing to get as many errands done as possible before I’m a full-time mom to three kids for eight weeks, GAH.
So all this is to say that the Summer! Of! Awesome! is starting in less than three weeks, and when I really think about that I have a small heart attack as it seems impossibly close, and I’m so woefully unprepared, including getting this post up about a month too late. DOUBLE GAH.
Last year I posted a comprehensive list of everything I had ever once remotely considered booking for the Summer of Awesome, but this year I am going to cheat and say that if you are looking for ideas, you can check out my ongoing activities list, and also Andrea’s all-encompassing Ottawa Bucket List.
Also, if you’re looking to track events over the course of the summer, you can check my Facebook page for weekly updates – I usually update it sometime on Monday with the weekend’s events. I’d also recommend my new favourite Ottawa blog, Ottawa Rickshaws, which is written by those guys who run around the market with rickshaws but is seriously, a cute and funny and super informative blog about what’s cool and hip and happening in downtown Ottawa. Plus, there’s always OttawaStart and its accompanying blog which is chock full of Ottawa info and events listings, and everyone should read it.
So! All that said, here’s our list of what we’ll be exploring for summer 2013.
(Failing the total collapse of the space-time continuum and the earth being swallowed up by the resulting singularity, which I have not ruled out.)
Cost Effective
RCMP Musical Ride
Canada Day on Parliament Hill – normally I avoid the hill like the plague, but the combined forces of Carly Rae Jepson AND Metric AND Chris FREAKING Hadfield have rendered me powerless to resist
Splash Pad Park
Museum of Nature (free to us as we are members) – specifically to see the Canadian Wildlife Photography Winners, which are on display until July 7
Museum of Agriculture and Food (free to us as we are members) – specifically for the Little Miss’ birthday party in July, whoo hoo
Museum of Aviation (free to us as we are members, are we members of every museum?? Yes, yes we are.) – specifically to see the Star Wars exhibit, which we will actually be visiting TWICE, and we’ve already seen it once in Montreal as well, so that should tell you how awesome it is
Storytime at Rideau Hall
Cruise Night (Tuesdays) at Hazeldean Mall
LEGO Exhibit at the Danish Embassy – anyone been to this yet? How was it?
A Company of Fools production of The Merry Wives of Windsor – these are performed in parks all across the city, and are pay-what-you-can; see the website for the full schedule
Chinatown Day Trip – as detailed by Andrea’s blog post, we went last year and the kids LOVED it
Picnic on Bate Island
Diefenbunker
Fortissimo on Parliament Hill – if the kids are perky enough, we’ll stay for Mosaika too
Pricier Outings
Mini Golf Gardens
Skyzone Ottawa
Altitude Gym Clip and Climb
Mont Cascades
Saunders Farm – a can’t miss tradition!
Karter’s Korner – possibly only with Gal Smiley, as she’s the big go-karter around here
Movie Theatre – to see Monsters University and Despicable Me 2 for sure; The Smurfs 2 OVER MY DEAD BODY
Upper Canada Village – special events include Battle of Crysler’s Farm Reenactment on July 13/14, Carriage Riding Weekend August 17/18, and Horse Lovers Weekend on the Labour Day Weekend
Treats at Menchie’s – they always have at least one milk-free sorbet on tap, although it is a bit of a cross-contamination nightmare there; if you’re worried about allergies but would love to take the family for ice cream, consider Thimblecakes’ new cafe in Barrhaven, which serves coconut milk ice cream and sorbets
Farther Afield
Toronto Zoo – we have a panda-obsessed eight-year-old in the house and are hoping to find time to get down to Toronto and see the pandas this summer
PEI – and oh yeah, in addition to all this, we’ll be driving out to PEI for a week. I’m going to need all of September just to recover from the summer!
Heck, I’ll probably need most of next week just to recover from this post. Happy summering, everyone!
And That’s Why They Invented Therapy
Little Miss Sunshine is turning six in a couple of weeks, so we are planning birthday parties and cakes and gifts and she’s getting excited.
So the other day she says to me, “Remember last year, on my birthday, when it was my WORST DAY EVER?”
And I’m all like, “You mean, the day when we went swimming, and had presents, then spent the afternoon at the museum of your choosing, then went out to eat the restaurant of your choosing, then had cake AND ice cream? THAT worst day ever?”
And she’s all, “Oh, yeah. But remember, you yelled at me. On my birthday. It was the worst ever.”
What she is referring to is this: when we were going out to the Museum of Civilization after lunch, I asked all three kids to get ready to go. But they were all wound up and nutso, and when I was packed up and ready I found three kids with no shoes and who had not been to the bathroom. And yes, I yelled, and if you want to know the truth, I even sent all three to their individual rooms for a few minutes while I calmed down. Then I politely asked them all if they wanted to go to the museum, and if so, could they GET READY ALREADY, and after 15 minutes we were on our way.
Then we went to the museum and had a great time. See also: cake, ice cream, gifts, etc.
So of course, all she remembers of that day is that I yelled at her. This, THIS, is the very definition of parenting to me. The good, the good, the good, the good – I will always remember. The bad, the ugly – that’s what leaves the impression on young minds.
It annoys me, but I know that that’s the way these things go. I have faith that providing a general aura of comfort and love and yes, cake and ice cream, will somehow result in a general good feeling about childhood, and all those bad moments will someday be amusing anecdotes told over Thanksgiving dinner, or possibly to her therapist.
Of course, this year for her birthday I’m considering skipping all the frills and just staying home in our PJs, while the kids make their own cereal for dinner. It’ll probably be her BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. FIGURES.
All Grown Up
Aw, we knew this day would come, but (sniff) so soon? Sunrise, sunset, etc. Turtlehead is all grown up!
Why, you ask? After (OMG, SO MANY) years in the blogging world, I am having my very first giveaway. HOLD. THE. PHONE.
It’s one I am very happy to support, too. I am in proud possession of 10, TEN, free family passes to the Museum of Agriculture and Food. It’s rebranding – adding the “Food” part to its name – but it’s still an awesome place for animal-lovers to visit.
I adore the Agriculture Museum, and I used to drag the kids there to see the baby animals every Easter, but my older two just HATED it. They hated the animals, they hated the barns, they even hated the play structure. What’s the Easter equivalent of Scrooge? Maybe ScroogeBunnies? That’s them.
And then! Along came Little Miss Sunshine, who loves animals. YAY. Now she and I pop over there about once a month in the afternoons, when the big kids are still in school, and visit the baby calves, and touch super soft lamb wool, and chat with the horses. We play on the play structure and try cake in the bakery and pick out the Queen Bee in the honey display.
Last time we were there, their new Learning Centre had just opened and we saw the new display, A Piece of Cake, which is interesting and cool and (the thing the Little Miss cares about) has a play kitchen. Bring a magazine. You’ll need it.
So needless to say, we have a membership there, and you should consider one too, especially given that a membership gives you access to the Museum of Science and Tech, AND the Museum of Aviation, as well. (Bonus: Your membership gives you a discount on the Star Wars exhibit currently showing at the Museum of Aviation, too.)
But if you’re not sure, you can win a family pass to try out the Museum of Agriculture and Food, right here, right now! The passes are for up to 2 adults and 3 kids, and let me just say, I like to see a family pass that allows for more than two kids. AWESOME.
How to enter: Leave a comment on this post telling me what you like best about the Museum of Agriculture, or if you’ve never been, what you’re most looking forward to seeing. One entry per person. And I gotta tell you, since I have TEN passes to give away, and like ten people read this blog, your chances of winning are QUITE GOOD. You have until midnight on Thursday, May 30 to enter; I’ll do a random draw (if required) on May 31. Please leave me an email where you can be reached (leaving it in your comment profile is fine).
Good luck!
Other Places
Just a quick post to say that you can read my June column for Capital Parent Newspaper on their blog, over here. If you’d like a hard copy to cherish forever (i.e. if you are my mother), then you can pick one up at libraries and community centres around town.
You can also see a full archive of the columns I’ve written for them by going here.
TurtleHead 