When we had Little Miss Sunshine, people asked us right away if we were finished now, or if we’d go on to have a fourth.

Answer: done like dinner.

Sometimes I feel a little wistful, like I wish we’d gone for that fourth kid. When I see a mom out at the mall with her four kids, making it look so easy. When my newborn nephew is sleeping in my arms, then rooting around for milk (sorry kid, I’ve nothing but raisins up front these days). When I have a really great day at home, and it seems that a fourth kid could just slide in there without adding any more chaos.

Today, however, was not one of those days.

The big kids are okay. They’ve been tired and cranky since we went back to school, but generally reasonable.

But the Little Miss. Oh, the Little Miss. She really does make me glad I’ll never have to live through the terrible twos again.

In some ways, two is such a fantastic age. So full of wonder, so full of delight. The way she thinks that giving us a kiss will solve any and every problem. The way she twirls to music in her tutu and imagines being the best ballerina that ever lived. The way she chrips little pronoucements with her still-babyish voice, explaining to us how the world works and what the rules are.

But man, those other ways. NOT GOOD.

In the past few months, everything has been a struggle. She’ll only eat cookies; any other food is blecky. She doesn’t want to get dressed, or she wants to get dressed THIS SECOND. Someone else has something she wants. Someone is trying to make her take something she DOESN’T want. She never wants to nap again. She wants to hit her brother but she gets upset when he so much as brushes against her in the hallway. She’s mad that we moved the location of the dresser in her room.

Every day it’s clash of the titans. Me versus her. I set the rules; she throws herself on the floor and wails about them. I ask her to do something; she screams her refusal.

This afternoon we had our usual battle, the one that happens every day when we go to pick up the Captain from school. She’s already been outside at least once, to get Gal Smiley. She hates her snowsuit, she hates winter (join the club, lady), she is busy doing other important things like begging for cookies and brushing her pony’s hair.

She does NOT want to go.

However, she MUST go.

You can imagine what happens next.

I’m so tired of the daily fight, and still there’s so many more months to go until better weather, school ending, her turning three.

It’s been a rough day. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

I am a terrible traveller. I’m an introvert and a nester, and I like my house. I get very stressed out in foreign environments where I don’t have control over every little thing.

I once had a minor meltdown in Mexico – at an all-inclusive resort where you are completely protected from the actual local culture, of course – when I discovered that the light switches worked sideways, instead of up and down.

I once had a crying fit in Cuba – at an all-inclusive resort, of course – when I did not understand that the guy reaching for my luggage was a hotel employee, not a thief, and then after I yelled at him, he didn’t want to help us with our luggage anymore, and now how were we going to find our room without help, and WOE WOE WOE??? FameThrowa had to dig me out of that hole.

My first year out of university, for my first full time job ever, I had to take a business trip. I was a developer and travel was in no way part of my job description. However, a company in England that used my product was having repeated crashes and no one could figure out why, and we couldn’t duplicate the problem on our local setup. It was a very important client so the company decided to send someone to debug it on site.

Someone being me.

This was just a week or so before Christmas and I FREAKED OUT. The very idea of going to a cold, damp, dark country just before the holidays was horrifying. I can’t even imagine how awful it would have been had it been, say, a country where people don’t speak English. Or there are no McDonalds (where I ate 95% of my meals). I was very young, it was the first time I had ever been outside Canada, and I was UP! SET!

So one night after I’d been working all day, some of the guys I was working with decided to take me out to a restaurant, because they knew I was having a miserable time and they wanted to cheer me up. After eating, just before I got up to leave, I went to use the bathroom. There was a little hook in the stall and I hung my winter coat and hat on the hook.

When I left the bathroom, I accidentally left my hat behind.

Now this hat was an important hat. My mother had made it for me, by hand, just a month or so earlier. It was a black and white tweed, with little flecks of red and green in it. It was lined in black with a strip of red ribbon around the inside edge where the hat met the brim – like a secret little hint of “I love you” from my Mommy.

And when you’re lonely and distressed in a foreign country near Christmas, having a comfort item from your Mommy is important.

Once we were outside the restaurant I realized what had happened, but by the time I went back, it was gone. I looked everywhere and asked the staff, but no one had seen anything. It was gone.

WHO STEALS A HAT? Have those idiots no fear of lice? Their mommas did not raise them right. HOOLIGANS.

I called the restaurant at least twice a day for the rest of the time I was there, and nothing. I called Sir Monkeypants as soon as I got home that night, in tears, and the poor guy did his best to comfort me from across an ocean about the horror of a lost hat. Because he is very nice that way, and he didn’t even mock me about it until I was safely back on Canadian soil.

But seriously, who steals a hat? Idiots. I still tear up when I think about it.

So last night, the girls had their first swimming lesson of the winter, and we had some scheduling difficulty that caused dinner to not get made on time. After swim class we went out to Wendy’s for dinner.

Then when we got up to go, MY HAT WAS GONE.

Now, I really loved this hat, too. It was a Canada Olympic hat from the last winter Olympics. You’ve probably seen them around – it’s white with red maple leaves on it, and red tassles and ear flaps. It was my go-to hat for winter, my signature hat. My little bit of warmth in a brutal, cold country.

It was definitely there at the start of the meal.

Not there at the end of the meal.

I searched everywhere in the restaurant, under all the tables, everyone looking at me like a freak. The staff had seen nothing, no one had turned it in. It was gone.

I was forced to go home HATLESS.

IN MY OWN COUNTRY.

The hooligans are invading! It’s time to hoard spam, load up on bottled water, build that bomb shelter in the basement!

And above all, hold on to your hats.

I’ve been bloggity blocked since the holidays. Just a creative funk, to match the cold, snowy weather. So, I did what I always do when I hit the writing wall, and that’s update my blogroll. So many awesome, fun, entertaining writers out there! Go and read and enjoy.

While updating, I sadly discovered that Jen MacLean’s blogs have been deleted! I hope you’re reading Jen, and I hope this was some sort of technical glitch, and I hope you’ll be back soon. Otherwise, who will give me gardening tips? Who will tell me stories of Australia? And how will I ever sleep at night not knowing if you went with the red kitchen or the white kitchen for the farmhouse? I MUST KNOW.

Speaking of blogs and blogging and blocks, I keep forgetting to mention that I very quietly passed my 1000th post back in November. I don’t know quite what to think about that. It seems like a lot of blabbing. I still really enjoy blogging, but lately I’m feeling like I want some new writing challenges, like I’m ready for something more. Not sure what those might be, but I’m giving it some thought.

When I can squeeze in some thinking, that is, as keeping up with Google Reader is gobbling up my time these days (see: blogroll).

One thing I like to do as my first post in January is to list my top 10 favourite posts (of my own) from the previous year. This is more for my benefit than yours, but anyway, here are my faves from 2009.

Memories for Sale – I watched some of our baby clothes being purchased at a consignment shop.
It’s Like 1972 Around Here – Gal Smiley is having a hard time dealing with the breakup of the Beatles.
We’re Not Leaving The House Until You Pee – The Captain shows a shocking lack of self-awareness.
Ou Est Jacques? – One of our fish seems to be able to leave the tank at will.
Personal Ads – My three kids seek playdates.
Thank God I Weeded The Lawn Yesterday — My mother drops by for a surprise visit.
Lunch. James Lunch. – The Captain can’t find his lunch.
On Blogging – Seeking the nature of this blog.
My Heart Will Go On – Little Miss Sunshine moves to a big bed.
Little Miss ABC – Two-and-a-half captured in rhyming couplets.

I’ve seen the movie The Sound Of Music probably, oh, I’d say at least 50 times. I actually remember the first time it was ever shown on network television – I was 11, and in the days when VCRs were a rarity, it was a really, really big deal in my house. I got to stay up late and watch…most of it, before I passed out on the couch.

Since then I’ve watched it pretty much every year at Christmas time, often two or three times over.

Discuss: Why is The Sound of Music considered a Christmas film?

This past week we watched it with the kids and they really liked it. It was surprisingly good at raising our spirits. No matter how sick we got, we all managed to tap our feet when The Lonely Goatherd came on.

Discuss: The Lonely Goatherd is the best song in The Sound of Music.

Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about in this post is the song So Long, Farewell. That’s the one that the kids sing as their goodbye to the guests at the big party. Each kid gets a little goodbye solo. The fourth solo belongs to the younger boy, Kurt:

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave, and heave a sigh, and say goodbye
Good BYYYYYYYEEEEE….

At the end there he hits a high, clear note.

I SWEAR that when I watched this movie on TV as a kid, the father said, “Cheeky!” at this point. However, our DVD does not have the father saying that.

Am I the only one who remembers this? In university, my friend BarkyShark and I used to sing this song on occasion, and at this point in the song, we would both look at each other say, “CHEEKY!” Then we’d collapse into giggles. Ah, university, such a beacon of somber, serious thought. Anyway, I assumed she was remembering the same thing I was, and we were laughing at our amazing ability to so closely mimic Christopher Plummer. But maybe she was laughing because she had absolutely no idea why I always busted out with CHEEKY at that moment?

And she really thinks I’m totally insane?

And perhaps, it’s true, or else I have some form of childhood Alzheimers?

The missing “Cheeky.” It’s surely one of life’s great mysteries.

What with this past week being Christmas and all, I was thinking of trying to make a tortiere, which is a Canadian meat pie traditionally served at the holidays. I’ve only ever tasted a tortiere once, and that was many, many, years ago, and it seemed like a good fit for my second week pie.

But then fate intervened.

I have a cousin Emma, and she has an aunt who is an artist. When Emma was a little girl — maybe around 10? — she served as the model for the pictures her aunt drew for a children’s book, called Selina and the Bear Paw Quilt:

Why, there’s Emma right there on the cover!

A year or so later, there was a sequel, Selina and the Shoo-fly Pie:

Emma again!

When my grandmother passed away this past summer, she had a copy of both books in her closet. My mom gave them to me to share with my kids. About a week or so ago, Gal Smiley was leafing through the second book when a recipe for Shoofly Pie fell out of it. My Nana must have tucked it inside the book at some point.

So you must admit, it seemed fated. Here it is:

I made this pie last Wednesday morning, just hours before I fell ill with the stomach flu. It was supposed to be for Christmas Eve dinner, but by then I was so sick I couldn’t even look at crackers, let alone pie. In the end, only FameThrowa was up to having a piece. I eventually tried a couple of bites on Sunday, the 27th, before pitching the whole thing due to nausea. I was too sick to leave the house to give it away, and I didn’t want to invite any tasters over to our din of germs.

So that was that. Not exactly the result I was hoping for.

How was the pie? Shoofly pie is a very, very heavy pie. It’s made with molasses — a LOT of molasses — with a butter/flour/sugar crumble added in layers. The overall result is a delicious, sweet pie that is awesome for about three bites. Anything more than that, and your entire stomach is completely bloated. No room for anything else. Although it is a sweet pie, it’s really meant to be a meal, not a dessert. I might make it again for a brunch or a fancy breakfast or an afternoon tea, or something like that, but not as an after-dinner item.

Also, the molasses bubbled over all over the oven, so beware shoofly pie makers — cookie sheet, oven fan, and smoke alarm dectector deactivation required.

As for the pastry, it went both better and worse this time around. I kept everything cold cold cold and the mixing part went fabulously well. I created a ball of pastry with minimal touching and popped it in the fridge and I was feeling really good about it.

Then the rolling part was a disaster — it totally stuck to the counter, so I had to pry it up with a fork after it was rolled out, and it broke into a thousand pieces. In the end I had to kind of piece it together in the pie plate (because I thought re-rolling it would be bad, although in retrospect, it is probably what I should have done). It barely stuck together and chunks kept falling off the side and it was so very, very frustrating to work with.

Then, because the molasses goes in as a liquid, the pastry sucked it all up. In the end you can hardly tell there is a pie crust there at all — it’s saturated with molasses. It’s good, but not very pastry-like. The only place you can taste the pastry alone is around the edge, where it was so fragile and already so piecemeal that most of it crumbled away as I lifted it out of the oven. The bits that were left were really good, though. Is it possible for pastry to be too flaky?

Anyway, all in all, a frustrating pie-making experience, and an even more frustrating pie non-eating experience. Bleh.

This week I’m skipping the pie because we are supposedly travelling to Toronto, although Little Miss Sunshine is STILL sick (bleh bleh bleh) so heaven only knows what the heck we are actually going to do. If we’re not travelling, though, I’m probably busy washing barf-covered sheets, so I’m still thinking that pie-making can wait until next week, don’t you think?

Next week, I think I’ll try something easier and lighter.

Thanks to Adorkable Thespian for this awesome idea!

2000: Learned to play guitar. Took a two week driving/camping tour of the Maritimes with Sir Monkeypants. Went to the Toronto Film Festival for the first time. Found a tap dancing class. Turned 30. Spent Christmas at DisneyWorld with my entire extended family.

2001: My nephew ChitChat was born. Joined an ultimate team. Ran my first 5K. Finally embraced the electronic age and got my first digital camera. Hobbled around NYC with a foot that was injured at ultimate. Later, our NYC friends visited us in the aftermath of 9/11. Was laid off from my job at Ortel-Nay. Spent December living high on the hog off of my severance package, eating bonbons and seeing a lot of movies.

2002: Was a bridesmaid at LittleSis’ wedding to CanadiensFan. Had a miscarriage. Got pregnant with Captain JB. Made a second trip to the Toronto Film Festival. Got a job at a small telecom firm, then was laid off six weeks later when the company was bought out by a giant conglomerate. Spent another December seeing a lot of movies. Swapped Sir Monkeypant’s old standard car for a shiny new automatic.

2003: Had a baby. Shut down my original website, Sidekick Magazine. Started a Mommy and Baby group. Lived through the Big Blackout. Had the flu for the first time in December and was completely convinced that I was going to die.

2004: Was surprised to find I was pregnant, again! Attended my mom’s 60th birthday party. Started my blog on LiveJournal. Sold our townhouse and bought a bigger single home a few streets away. Had Gal Smiley. Spent a great fall with the family as Sir Monkeypants took three months of parental leave. Moved into our new home. Celebrated our first ever Christmas morning at our house.

2005: Started up Girl’s Poker Night. Resumed tap dancing and ultimate. My grandfather passed away.

2006: My nephew H-Man was born. Watched Sir Monkeypants build a swingset in the backyard. Got pregnant for the third time. Took the big kids to the zoo in Montreal. Bought a minivan.

2007: Had Little Miss Sunshine. Had a great summer as Sir Monkeypants took another three-month parental leave. The Captain started JK. Remodelled our laundry room. Did my first NaBloPoMo.

2008: The Captain moved up to SK and Gal Smiley started JK. Joined the PTA and ran their art program. Moved my blog over to WordPress. Joined a new book club. Put a patio in the backyard. Attended my older sister’s 40th birthday party.

2009: Designed the PTA’s website. Founded Blog Out Loud. Ran a 5K. My grandmother passed away. Planned the Giant Fundraiser. Took the kids to the Parliament Buildings, the CN Tower, the Toronto Science Centre, the Toronto Zoo. Had the swine flu. My nephew S-Man was born.

This decade was all about family for me. Sir Monkeypants and I built our own family unit and my extended family grew, too. I built a strong circle of friends and found a new place for myself in this world.

I can’t wait to see what the next ten years will bring.

So this year’s Christmas has, sadly, been a bit of a bust. Little Miss Sunshine, Gal Smiley, and I were up most of Wednesday night vomiting — I think poor Sir Monkeypants did about 6 loads of laundry throughout the night and didn’t sleep more than two hours himself. Christmas Eve, the Captain came down with it, and by Christmas morning, Sir Monkeypants was sick too.

We managed to make it through presents and stockings and opening, but most of our past two days has been spent with all five of us on the couch, fighting over which video we are going to watch next, and listening to the Captain declare that this is the “worst Christmas EVER” about a hundred times. All the Christmas treats have gone uneaten. At least three Christmas feasts sit uncooked in the fridge — Christmas Dinner consisted of dry rice krispies for those who could stomach it, cups of ice water for those who couldn’t. I haven’t even been able to taste this week’s pie (but that’s a whole other post).

Plus, we’ve put our trip down to Toronto to meet my new nephew on hold, and possibly will cancel altogether.

It just doesn’t feel too festive around here.

Still, Sir Monkeypants reminded me last night that there have been good things. We’ve all been together. We worked together as a family to make it through — everyone has helped someone else at some point. The kids genuinely loved their gifts — almost exclusively books, videos, and board games from everyone this year, which has been perfect for getting us through these past few days stuck at home.

And even through all that barf, you can still feel the love. Maybe even more so.

It’s 6 a.m. on the 26th now and I’ve already been up for a few hours with the Little Miss, who has risked some canned fruit salad and a piece of Sunbutter toast this morning. I still feel queasy but I also feel happy to be snug in my little house with my little family on a cold and blustery morning.

Merry Christmas, and here’s hoping for a better New Year’s!

It’s looking to be pretty crazy around here the next few days, what with Christmas and presents and baking. We’re also going down to Toronto for a couple of days to meet my new one-week-old nephew, SMan, and I can’t wait to rub my nose in all that baby smell. Mmmm!

We’re wrapping up the advent calendar activities too, and as things get busier I get worse and worse at remembering to take photos. So this will be a pretty quick wrap up of the month’s events!

Last Friday we were going to make crowns and have a parade, but I ran out of steam, so the night before I swapped it out for “read books with Mommy.” I had a couple of Scholastic books I was saving for the holidays so we read those together, and then the kids ran and picked book after book and that kept us all busy for quite a while. I’d actually do this one again; it was such a nice peaceful way to spend the afternoon.

Saturday we had our fancy dress-up dinner, which went very well, definitely a keeper. The Captain loves to wear a tie.

Sunday we went to family skate. We were really worried about this one. Gal Smiley and Captain JB took a skating class through the city last year but they never got really comfortable on the ice. They were able to kind of waddle about with minimal falling but that was about it. Still, we had skates for everyone that were going unused, and we even had bob skates for the Little Miss, so it seemed a shame not to at least try. In any case, this turned out to be a great event. The Captain in particular was really excited to be back on the ice and he worked really hard. Gal Smiley and the Little Miss did a few circles and then they were done, but they were happy to sit and eat graham crackers with Sir Monkeypants, and everyone loved the zamboni break. So overall, it was a great afternoon and I had a lot of fun, and I’ll definitely be taking the Captain, at least, for more skating this winter.

Monday we rolled out a huge piece of paper down the hallway, and went to town with paints. It’s imperative that everyone strip down to as little as possible for this activity, since you know that it’s only a matter of time before they use their own bodies as canvas.

The kids had fun painting pictures, and then they painted their hands and feet and made body prints all over. Then everyone had to get in the tub as there was paint EVERYWHERE. Still, good times.

Yesterday we used the Captain’s old Thomas toys to build a train track all around the tree, which was fun and everyone joined in which is always good.

Today we’re going to go for a drive after dinner in our PJs to look at Christmas lights. The kids are kind of “whatever” about the lights but going outside in their jammies is SUPER EXCITING so they’re pumped.

Tomorrow, we’re going to make cookies for Santa — we will be making these molasses cookies that are like soft gingerbread that are AWESOME, I can’t wait. Until then, I’ll leave you with this photo of my famous Christmas shortbread that I made yesterday. There’s nothing special about the shortbread, it’s all about the adorabe bite-sized shapes:

Have a very happy holiday, everyone!