I feel like this blog used to be a shiny, happy place and I do apologize for the bleakness lately. Maybe I’ll write my way to joy, or at least Kit Kat my way to joy.
But really, it’s been a hell of a week.
My laptop hard drive imploded. Ironically, while I was trying to back up the 2TB of data that lived on there that was otherwise totally NOT backed up.
I lost years of storytelling. Family photos going back to 2001. My kids’ baby books that I’d updated since they were born. Fiction and non-fiction writing, completed, published, and in-progress.
I lost the graphic design work I’d done for every website I’ve ever worked on. My will. Taxes for the past 8 years. Documentation I wrote for dozens of clients.
I lost several creative works-in-progress I’d spent hours and hours on. Patterns for projects I’d created from scratch.
I cried about it, a lot.
(Before you ask, yes, I took it to A Guy, and said Guy confirmed it’s dead-dead, toast-toast, goner-goner, nothing can be recovered.)
Meanwhile, I met with my lawyer, and my banker, and they both sadly and gently told me to brace myself and prepare for the worst and think about cutting back.
And just then my gas fireplace quit, and my microwave/hood fan died, and I had to do several other major repairs on this house that I don’t know if I’m even going to be able to keep, and I feel like I’m bleeding money, and bleeding tears, and generally just bleeding, bleeding, bleeding.
It was unfortunately a rough week for all three kids too. School transitions, new places to live, hopes and fears but mostly fears.
It’s not a week to fall apart but screw it, let’s do that.
I already had too many new stories going on. Too many blank pages to figure out how to fill. Too many pivot points and rebuilding efforts and new-new things to juggle.
Deep breaths. One worry at a time. One fresh, blank, empty hard drive to try to see as a beginning, not an ending.
It’s the strongest, truest reminder that there is no going back, there is only forward, and you get on board with that or you bleed out.
TurtleHead 
omg I’m so sorry to hear all of this. I don’t know if hugs are your thing, but I’m sending them because I really don’t know how else to even start to bring you comfort at this difficult time. Deep breaths. And cry. And Kit Kat. All the flavours.
I’m so sorry to hear about these things happening all at once! Sending you lots of love and hugs, and anything you need, even if it’s just an ear to listen, I am here. Warm wishes dear Lynn!
Hugs. And lots and lots of virtual Kit Kats coming from me to you.
Oh, no, no, no, nooooo……
About the hard drive: I would be completely wrecked if I lost all of that, Lynn. I empathize deeply. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.
However, I wouldn’t give up just yet. Obviously this is something worth fighting pretty hard for. I would look online for disk recovery specialists. Don’t take it to the Geek Squad or other big-box tech services – you need someone who knows what they’re doing. Reach out directly if you’d like some help with that – I can definitely find some references.
If you put that particular problem aside and hold on to a little hope that there may be a solution, the other stuff – well, I have no doubt that it’s all still pretty scary. But you have your health, so do your children, and you have family and friends who care about you, and all of that is worth so much more than a fireplace or a microwave or even a house. I know you will survive and someday you will shine again.
I’ve had a few people now recommend a second opinion so I will do so, but not getting my hopes up, ugh. If anything can be recovered you’ll probably hear me screaming with joy from here :).
Hi Lynn – I hope you were able to recover your laptop contents. Philippe is more than happy to take a look if you would like – he is pretty good at this kind of thing 🙂 Please don’t hesitate to let us know if this would help. We are just a step away if you need anything 🙂