It is very strange and unusual times we are living in, isn’t it? I have spent the last several weeks trying not to panic in any way about COVID-19, a.k.a. the coronovirus. I didn’t run out and buy a bunch of toilet paper or stock up on canned goods or anything, I just tried to stay chill.

But it is funny how panic begets panic. After they announced yesterday that Ontario schools would all close for two full weeks following March Break, there was mass panic in the streets and grocery stores were overrun. My sister called yesterday to say that she had just been to the local Superstore and shelves of soup and pasta were literally empty, and the line up to pay snaked back to the dairy section.

We were having a casual evening at home because it was Captain Jelly Belly’s 17th birthday. SEVENTEEN. It sounds so grown up, don’t you think? And suddenly he does seem older, his voice is deeper, he’s a scant quarter inch taller than me, and pretty much his adult self now. But still, we wanted to have a little celebration to mark the occasion.

I wasn’t sure how to handle it all. Should we drop everything and run to the store? Or just stick with the plan of his favourite takeout and pie for dessert? We ended up doing the latter, and had a very nice evening.

But now I am worried I have missed out. Saturday morning is our usual grocery time and I already made a long list of what we need – nothing apocalyptic, no extra canned goods even, just the basic stuff we are naturally out of, and stuff we would need to make the planned dinners and lunches for next week. What if I arrive at the shops and everything is just gone?

Is it too late already? Are we doomed to be the first to die at the mouths of zombies due to our lack of toilet paper and soup?

My mind is full of other questions and uncertainties too. Like, we have tickets to see Cats tonight, and I really want to go, and it hasn’t been cancelled, so…should we go? Or is that irresponsible? Or is everything just fine?

Another huge worry right now that is full of questions is that we booked a dream trip back in the fall – a cruise to Italy at the end of June. This is after a few years of saving up and a ton of planning and of course, a crap-ton of money. Should we cancel it? Or will everything be fine by then?

What if the school year gets extended due to the missing strike days and the coronovirus shutdown? We’re supposed to leave for our trip the day after the last final exam, but if the year gets extended that means the Captain would miss his final exams in the most important semester of his pre-university career. So should we cancel just in case?

We probably should, I’m guessing? But it is damn hard to say goodbye to this trip that we have planned for and dreamed of for years, not to mention the lost dollars. Sigh.

There’s little things, too. The Captain was supposed to be in his school play this year but it would have been during the shutdown time so it’s been indefinitely postponed. Will he get a chance to perform it? And we are supposed to visit our parents, some of whom are in fragile health, in a couple of weeks – should we, or shouldn’t we?

It’s just really hard to know if this is a zombie apocalypse and we should be responding by freaking out, hoarding, cancelling everything, and hiding inside with shotguns…or if we should carry on as usual and count on everything to sort itself out. I read online that if we cancel things and stay home, and then it turns out to be not as bad as we feared, then that is a win – that responding to the pandemic by taking precautions WORKED.

So I’m going to try to find some middle ground, I guess, and some middle level of panic. I’ll pick up extra food at the store on Saturday if any is available. We’ll keep the vacation booking until we are forced into cancelling. We’ll have the Captain perform his part of the play for us while he’s home on this unintentional, bonus vacation.

And we’ll keep fingers crossed that everything turns out okay.