I have been roped into going to Girl Guide camp at the last minute – we leave tomorrow and will be back on Sunday. Anyone who has known me for five minutes knows that camping is my most hated thing in the whole world. Well, that and having plans change at the last minute. I am not a flexible person, I have a bug and general outdoor phobia, and I hate, hate, hate being without creature comforts.
As my friend Nicole would say, at least I am not being dragged across the prairie, pregnant, with a fiddle-playing vagrant who thinks carving a house out of grass on squatted land is really cool, like poor Caroline Wilder. BUT STILL.
I told my husband that in order to soothe my fears and keep me sane, I will be taking the whole house with me. EVERYTHING.
Later when I had calmed down a bit, he said, “So, what are you going to sleep on?”
And I said, “Two camp pads, maybe a couple of quilts, both of our sleeping bags and a couple of pillows.”
And he was all, “Uh…isn’t that rather a lot of stuff? You have to haul this stuff around you know.”
And I was like, “Did you think I was KIDDING about taking the whole house? THINK AGAIN.”
And he wisely ran away from the crazy lady.
This evening I have been packing, with the help of my two ex-Scouts older children, and they were reduced to giggles by a) the sheer number of bug spray containers I am taking, and b) the sheer number of allergy pills I am taking, in FOUR different brands, and c) the sheer number of pairs of socks I am bringing.
And to them I say, WHOLE HOUSE PEOPLE.
If you don’t hear from me, it’s because I was eaten by blackflies. But at least I died wearing my choice of four different hats and three pairs of shoes. It’s the little creature comforts that get us through the hard times, right?