I took the kids sledding this week, and the whole time I was there I was wondering how, exactly, any teenaged boys make it to adulthood. I saw boys in untied running shoes (this is on an icy, snowy hill in -5 degrees Celcius weather). I saw boys with no hats and open coats. I saw boys climbing fences into restricted areas and then shoving each other at the edge of the mountain.
I saw boys standing on sleds attempting to “surf” down the hill. SERIOUSLY, boys. How is it that there are any grown men in the world?
Last night I was at a fast food restaurant getting take-out (soon to come: a list of take-out foods that the Captain can eat, trust me, it will be a short post). There was a teenaged girl in front of me in line who was pretty and had amazing teeth and long blonde hair. The two boys behind the counter were IDIOTS, absolute idiots in her presence. They clearly knew each other from school and one boy, when the girl called him by name, blushed until I thought his head would explode and stood there grinning dumbly, completely unable to answer her question or engage in any kind of conversation. The other one, in an attempt to win attention, made a series of “girls are weak and dumb” style jokes and then finished up his stand-up routine with a lame, “Um, I guess that wasn’t very funny, sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” And the girl quietly and very nicely said, “That’s okay,” but you could tell she was thinking OH NO YOU DIDN’T, JERK.
I have to say, this week my fears of future teen pregnancy has been greatly reduced. It just doesn’t seem likely that between the snow surfing and the ridiculous teenaged social interactions that any of today’s teenaged boys will be fathering children any time soon. In fact, the entire future of the human race may be in jeopardy.
Oh man, I am NOT looking forward to the teen years.