So this morning the school calls and tells me that the Captain’s lunch is missing. I know it was there, because today was a special day in which parents were invited to a Meet The Teacher breakfast, so I personally dropped the Captain off at his classroom, hung his backpack on its hook, and saw his lunch bag in the backpack when I took out his water bottle.
I immediately guessed it was stolen. And you know, I had left his backpack a bit unzipped, and you could see the lunch bag poking out, and I actually thought to myself at the time, “I should zip that closed so no one takes his lunch,” and then I thought, “How stupid, who is going to take a kid’s lunch, and it’s not like zipping it all the way closed is some Fort Knox-style protective device, anyway.”
So I didn’t zip it.
And the lunch went missing.
Man, was I pissed off. Since the Captain can’t eat any of the backup food that the school keeps on site due to his allergies, I had to rush to make him another lunch. The whole time I was frantically making sandwiches and washing grapes and preparing chocolate rice milk I was stomping around and muttering under my breath about HOOLIGANS who STEAL LUNCHES and what the HELL is this world COMING TO, anyway. I paused occasionally to dash off angry emails to Sir Monkeypants and to protest loudly about the injustice of the universe on Twitter.
When the second lunch was ready, I packed up Little Miss Sunshine and dashed over to the school, and guess what I found in the Captain’s backpack?
HIS LUNCH BAG.
It turns out that my leaving his backpack a bit unzipped had caused it to fall onto the floor, where it apparently TURNED INVISIBLE. Seriously, Captain! The teacher asked him to do a “thorough search” of the hallway, floor, and his cubby area, and that blue thing? Sitting in plain view in the middle of the floor under his hook? The squarish thing filled with food? Was IN DISGUISE. Completely hidden by the wide expanse of WHITE FLOOR.
It’s the 007 of lunches, I guess.
It wasn’t that big a deal in the end, because I had to be there to pick up Gal Smiley anyway. I know I’ve vented quite a bit here about how dreadful it is having to walk back and forth to the school all the time, like, write me a novel and call it Turtlehead’s Progress, but here’s a little secret…
There are actually some good things about it. I know! It’s shocking!
The second best thing is that I can eat a cupcake every day after lunch now, and not gain any weight. Which is AWESOME.
The best thing, though, is that when I go to pick up Gal Smiley, both she and the Captain are having outdoor playtime, and I can watch them from the side of the school grounds. Usually they don’t notice I’m there right away, and I can see them interact with their friends completely candidly, and it’s so wonderful. I just love seeing them playing tag, or digging in the sand, or just chatting with their buddies, all grown-up and child-like and GORGEOUS. It’s a little window into their World Without Mommy, and I love being able to play Peeping Tom for a few minutes a day.
Gal Smiley has to play in the kindergarten area, which is fenced off from the rest of the playground, and the Captain’s class usually gathers in the area right outside the kindergarten fence. Often, the Captain and the Gal are on either side of the fence chatting with each other, which is so awesome it melts my heart right away. Yesterday, when I arrived at the school grounds, they were chatting at the fence when the bell rang, and the Captain gave the Gal a quick kiss on the cheek before running back into the school. It was my proudest moment to date as a Mommy.
I freakin’ LOVE those kids.
Anyway, due to the whole no lunch/lunch thing today, I got to watch them on the playground for an extra ten minutes. A whole extra ten minutes of watching the most beautiful kids in the world. Ten minutes of pure delight. Ten minutes of joy.
And then I came home to a pre-made lunch of sandwiches and grapes and chocolate rice milk.
So a happy ending, don’t you think?