What I’ve Learned In My First Week As a Walker Mom

1. The school’s clock is two minutes faster than all other clocks. You are later than you think you are.

2. Don’t even think of picking up the Captain without a juice and snack. DO NOT THINK OF IT.

3. Even though it’s September and coolish and the walks are in the morning or later in the afternoon, we still need sunscreen.

4. Take the outside temperature, add ten degrees, and dress for that higher temperature. That’s how hot it is going to feel while pulling a wagon loaded with two kids, snacks, and backpacks through the shadeless streets, uphill both ways.

5. Gal Smiley can’t make the walk twice a day. On the second trip, she must ride her bike or ride in the wagon. Don’t even think of letting her walk. DO NOT THINK OF IT.

6. And speaking of Gal Smiley, no walking in flip flops.

7. It’s going to take longer than you think to walk to the school.

8. It’s going to take even longer to walk home.

9. Every bug in creation knows the sound of the school bell and considers it a signal to SWARM. Try not to eat any.

10. Bring LOTS of tissues.

11. No, more than that.

12. Don’t even think of letting Little Miss Sunshine out of the stroller. DO NOT THINK OF IT.

8 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned In My First Week As a Walker Mom

  1. amen to that, sister. I also need earplugs or to keep humming lalalala to preserve my self-esteem while Eve tears continuous strips off of me for being such a mean, demanding, torturing monster of a mother and making her walk. Ditto on the juice and snack, if only to shut her up for a few seconds between bites and sips.

  2. All good points I am going to file into my head for when the kidlet starts school. Right now the biggest challenge is getting out and walking to the daycare on time!

  3. I am with you on the snack thing. I learnt that quickly last year. Now I have to pick double snacks so they eat have one of everything. If I don’t have snacks the girl will try to convince me to stop at the bakery and buy her a cookie.

    If you do let them walk take your camera. The girl walked part of the way one day last year and it involved her: lying in a church yard, climbing a fire hydrant and scaling a bike rack. I was laughing.

  4. Jill

    Yeah, but what you don’t notice is that you are already outside and there are no emergency pull overs at the side of the road when your kid suddenly reminds you while sitting in busy traffic on the way to preschool that you accidentally let him have juice but then a yogurt- darh! Juice and milk are NOT friends and you are almost causing a collision while yanking the gagger out of the car so he can puke on some old lady’s front lawn while she sweeps her driveway in her nighty and tells you what a horrible person you are that you don’t have a retractable hose in your car to clean up her precious yard…

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