Faster Than Cheese

The other day Captain Jelly Belly wanted me to move more quickly so he said to me,

“Hurry up, Mom! Faster than cheese!”

Then I laughed for like, ten minutes, which probably didn’t help speed me up any.

I thought it was a one-off, but then the next day, while I was poking around before going to school,

“Come ON, Mom! Faster than cheese!”

And I laughed for like, 20 minutes.

The most hilarious thing is that he cannot understand why I think this is so funny. He stamps his foot and gets a little pissy because I’m laughing when it is OBVIOUSLY not a joke.

After a few times of me totally cracking up over this, he tried to explain that he meant to say, “You know, like faster than making cheese, you get it now?”

But that was only funnier, both because he had obviously been searching for some sort of reasonable explanation, and also because faster than making cheese means I could take, oh, three to five months to actually accomplish the task at hand, and still beat the cheese.

So that’s hardly a challenge, there.

Naturally this immortal phrase has been adopted by the whole family now. So if you see us at the park, you’ll know it’s me because I’ll be the one shouting at the kids to, “Come on already, FASTER THAN CHEESE!”

8 thoughts on “Faster Than Cheese

  1. Isn’t he the one who’s lactose intolerant? Maybe he means faster than cheese makes it through his system in that case? Otherwise I have no explanation.

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