Red Velvet Princess Shoes

On November 15, 2008November 16, 2008 By LynnIn TurtleHead3 Comments

These are the shoes I wore to the wedding of my good friends CaptainPlanet and SmokingToaster, in the fall of 1993.

It’s the only time I’ve been a bridesmaid for a non-family member, and although it was a huge honour and made me feel really happy and special, I think I was a really sucky bridesmaid, in that I don’t really remember doing anything to actually help SmokingToaster. All I really remember is being really cranky about the selection of bridesmaid dress. It was an off-the-shoulder dress with a straight skirt and I did not think it would suit me at all. But I caved in because it was what the other bridesmaids wanted and I didn’t want to be too much of a BITCA.

In the end I got about a million compliments that day on how gorgeous I looked so I guess I didn’t really know what the hell I was talking about, anyway.

These lovely red velvet shoes matched the top part of the dress and I loved, loved, loved them (which made it a little easier to stop being such a BITCA about the dress itself). They made me feel like a fairy princess, going to a ball. Unfortunately they are not the most comfortable shoes ever — did you know that velvet shoes have no give whatsoever? I don’t care though. I love them still.

As for the wedding, it was a rocking awesome time, if I do say so myself. A lot of my friends from university were there and we had a great time dancing and singing and throwing illegal confetti in the reception hall. I had just discovered that having a little wine would not, in fact, send me straight to hell, so I had approximately half a glassful and then drunkenly warned SmokingToaster that she should not, under any circumstances, try to have sex that evening, since the stress and exhaustion would just get their marriage off to a bad start.

A few months later, at my own wedding, SmokingToaster told me I’d given her this advice and I was suitably embarrassed.

Anyway, back to the shoes. I loved them so much that after the wedding, I made myself a whole second dress that was more my style using the same red velvet, so that I would have an outfit with which to wear the shoes again. I wore the new dress with these Princess Shoes to at least one other wedding, as well as a few Christmas parties. The dress doesn’t fit me anymore — actually, I think I eventually gave up hope of ever fitting into it again, and gave it away — so I haven’t worn these shoes in years. I’d love to have an excuse, though. Maybe I’ll try them on right now.

Fabulous Strappy Black Sandals

On November 14, 2008November 16, 2008 By LynnIn TurtleHead5 Comments

These are the shoes I wore to Sinnick’s wedding to NicolaJayne, in the summer of 2006.

I blogged extensively about these shoes at the time. I needed a pair of sandals to wear with my dress for the wedding and I knew I’d be doing a lot of walking and standing and dancing, so I wanted something pretty but practical. I saw these in the store and I fell in love with them at first sight, but they just didn’t seem like they’d be comfortable at all. The heel is much higher and slimmer than I usually wear, and the straps were so skinny and unsupportive. So in fear, I bought a low-heeled pair of very sensible sandals with thick elastic straps instead.

These other shoes were not cute. They didn’t so much say “sassy hot wedding guest” as “I like to wear stretch pants from WalMart.”

Afterwards I whined and whined about the Lost Shoes, and the next week I went back to the store and went in just to visit, just to say “hi,” and it turned out that they were on sale, 50% off. So of course I had to try them on, and of course they fit perfectly, just as if I were Cinderella. So of course I had to buy them, and show them off to everyone at the wedding.

Actually it was just a wedding reception; they’d already been married in a small ceremony in the Caribbean. FameThrowa and I went down for the big party that most of their extended family and friends were attending.

I had such a great time. Nicola looked so gorgeous — FameThrowa and I were so happy she was wearing her wedding gown — and Sinnick looked handsome and happy. A bunch of Nicola’s family from England were there talking in cool accents, which was enchanting. I met a bunch of FameThrowa’s friends from university (she went to school with Sinnick, which is how I know him), and they were all so adorable I could have eaten them with a spoon. I also met Mr. Hand; I’d been a fan of his blog for a while and I’m afraid I was all giddy and weird and gushy like a groupie, and I wasn’t even drunk. FameThrowa and I rocked out on the dance floor and ate many, many, MANY of the shortbread cookies that they had in place of a cake.

Seriously, BEST. COOKIES. EVER. I have no idea where these little pieces of manna came from. I would have asked Nicola for details but if I knew how to access the source, I would have heart disease in about three weeks. So for the sake of my children, it’s better that I don’t know.

Speaking of the kids, this wedding was the first and only night I have ever spent away from home without the kids since the Captain was born. I think FameThrowa thought I was pretty lame for insisting that we only be gone one night — the wedding was about a five hour drive away, but I still made her drive up on the Saturday, go to the wedding party Saturday night, then drive home the next morning. It was great to be away, but I missed my family a lot and although I knew Sir Monkeypants would have everything under control, at the same time I know how hard it is to do the single-parent thing and I wanted to rush home to help him out as soon as possible.

I have to say I have been extremely lucky in that Sir Monkeypants almost never has to travel for work, and is hardly ever away overnight. I’ve probably had to take the kids all on my own overnight no more than 5 times in the past five years, and I don’t think I’ve ever had to do it since Little Miss Sunshine was born. Some people probably think it’s strange or unhealthy that we basically never, ever leave the kids. I admit it has felt oppressive on occasion, and when I hear about other couples taking cruises or having a weekend in Quebec City while Grandma watches the kids, I feel a little jealous.

But at the same time, I really, really missed them when I was away. I kind of like having them around. Hopefully that isn’t too strange or unhealthy.

Anyway, as for the shoes, they turned out to be shockingly comfortable. I danced in them all evening long and never once felt unsteady, never once a twinge of pain. They’re perfect in every way.

And the practical, old-lady sandals? I don’t even have them any more. As it turns out, the one time I did wear them, they gave me blisters all to hell and back. Guess Cinderella knew what she was doing.

You See It, You Pack It

On November 13, 2008November 14, 2008 By LynnIn TurtleHead2 Comments

Tomorrow we’re going on a short trip down to Southern Ontario to visit Sir Monkeypants’ family, and also to go to the SECRET SURPRISE 40th birthday party for a mystery someone. (Don’t worry, she doesn’t actually read this blog.)

We make this trip about three times a year, so you think I’d have the packing thing down pat by now, wouldn’t you? We usually go for five or six days and this time we are only going for three days, so there’s even fewer things to pack…AND YET. I feel like I’ve been packing for a week now and I still have tons of stuff to do, and it seems I am bringing at least half of the house. This is why I don’t get people who are able to take their kids on vacations to exotic destinations — first of all, the amount of planning and packing involved gives me hives, and the fact that we simply could not take sixteen boxes and fourteen suitcases on an airplane makes me hyperventilate.

I mean, what if we get there and we have NO PRETZELS? WHAT IF???

Better pack the pretzels.

Anyway, while I’m away I have no idea what kind of internet access I’ll have, so to preserve my NaBloPoMo status I’ve pre-written my posts for the next four days on a theme — weddings I have attended and the shoes I have worn to them. The posts turned out great, I hope you enjoy them. I’ll be back posting live on Tuesday.

As for today’s post, something I wanted to do over this month was to feature some of my favourite Etsy shops, in the hopes that it would help with everyone’s Christmas shopping. Since we’re already almost halfway through November I thought I better get down to it. I have several shops I want to feature so I’m going to break my posts up by theme.

Today we’ll talk about handbags, because although I hate to shop for clothes, I LOVE to shop for handbags. It’s funny, because 90% of the time I carry around an enormous diaper bag, and I rarely get to use a handbag ever. I’d still own a hundred of them, though, if I could.

My favourite handbag store on Etsy is Janine King Designs:

She makes lovely, classy tote bags and (squeal!) bags for laptops. I fantasize about being a big-time writer someday and carrying my laptop with me everywhere in a pretty Janine King laptop tote.

Someone on my Christmas list is getting a handbag for Christmas from XS Baggage:

I had one of these bags custom-made for the gift that I ordered and it arrived super fast, and is just gorgeous to boot. It was very, very hard to wrap it up, let me tell you.

I also really love all the bags from The Funky Bag Lady:

So, so pretty. These don’t zipper close — they only have a snap closure — so probably not so good for travel abroad. Excellent, however, for Ladies’ Poker Night — I’d almost want to lose, just so I could pull out my lovely handbag at the end of the evening to settle up.

Lastly, I really like Urban Harmonie:

I’ve had my eye on that pink clutch for a while now, but sadly, I just can’t justify it. If I ever get invited to a ball, though, it’s totally sold.

Happy weekend, happy shopping!

Lesser Of Two Evils

On November 12, 2008January 23, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead3 Comments

Yesterday morning, before breakfast:

Me: Ugh, I feel so nauseous this morning.

Sir Monkeypants: Maybe it’s a tumor.*

Me: It’s not a tumor. Don’t say that.

Sir Monkeypants: Maybe…you’re pregnant!

Me: DON’T. EVEN.

Sir Monkeypants: Maybe it’s a tumor?

Me: That’s better.

* A quote from the movie Kindergarten Cop.

Lest We Forget

On November 11, 2008 By LynnIn TurtleHead2 Comments

It’s Remembrance Day here in Canada. I often feel like I don’t give this day its due. It’s not a day that has a ritual associated with it for my family — the kids are doing something at school, but at home it’s business as usual. There aren’t any special foods to make or costumes to put on or decorations to put up. So it tends to go unnoticed.

It’s important, though, to remember. It’s important to take a few moments to thank those who have fought for our country — and to pray that my own son and daughters will never have to do the same.

The CBC website has put together an excellent set of stories about the origin of Remembrance Day, and some fascinating stories from the World Wars. I’m going to spend a little time this morning reading them over and being thankful.

Happy Birthday, SocialButterfly

On November 10, 2008January 23, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead5 Comments

My older sister, SocialButterfly, turns 40 years old today.

In honour of her birthday, I would like to give her the gift of an apology for all the crappy things I did to her as a kid.

I’m sorry I hit you in the head that time with a Fisher Price toy camera, and you had to get stitches.

I’m sorry about that one time I didn’t flush the toilet after filling it with hair from my hairbrush, and you teased me about it, and I gave you a HUGE lecture about how much it costs to flush a toilet and how we should not be doing it unnecessarily, and you were all chagrined, when really, you were right in the first place, and I should have flushed.

Remember when your Grade 8 yearbook came out, and there was a page where people had been invited to complete the sentence, “I love…”? And you had said, “…waking up to music.” And I thought that answer was totally lame, so just to prove a point, I turned on your radio at full volume at 7am on a Saturday morning, thus “waking” you up to “music”? Yeah, sorry about that one. I was a wee bit jackassy.

I’m really sorry about that one time when you were in Grade 4, and you were trying really hard to impress a cute guy in your class, so you told him you had a robot in your bedroom that cleaned it for you, and he came to me for validation, and I failed to back you up.

Sorry I just told the world about that robot thing.

I’m sorry that when we used to stay up after our official bedtime, pretending in the dark that we were twin babies named Tina and Bina, that I made you be Bina, even though you always wanted to be Tina.

I’m sorry that I have, in the past, suggested to you that Placido Domingo is uncool.

I’m very, very sorry that I was too self-involved during my university years to pay much attention to your kids, when they were wee babies and toddlers. I had no idea what I was missing out on; I completely did not get it when I called to talk to you and you would dare to talk all about your kids instead. I get it now. I sucked back then.

I apologize for that one time that Nana and Papa brought us back wallets as gifts from a trip to Florida, and I cried and cried because you got a pink one and I got a blue one but I WANTED THE PINK ONE, and you caved in and traded with me. You have a good heart. I was (am?) a whiny baby.

Sorry about all those times you wanted to socialize, but I just wanted to sit and read a book, and so totally rebuffed you. I must say though, you never seemed to take it personally. I suspect you have always understood me much better than I have understood you.

Now you’re 40, and I hope I’m a better sister to you now than I was then. Just to prove it, I’m going to call you on the phone right now and I vow to talk to you for a full fifteen minutes, which is terribly painful for me (not because it’s you, just because it’s the phone, and I HATE the phone), but it’ll make you happy.

Happy birthday, SocialButterfly!

Sleigh Ride

On November 9, 2008 By LynnIn TurtleHead

I’ve been hearing the usual comments about how indecent it is that Halloween pumpkins have already been completely replaced with Christmas decorations. The mall and the Superstore are already playing Christmas music exclusively, and the Santa Claus Parade was yesterday.

I’m not complaining, though.

I’m an early shopper. I hate going to the mall in December (we went yesterday afternoon, and already it was crazy crowded and getting parking was like an event on American Gladiators). We no longer travel to see our extended families at Christmastime, so I have to shop for all of them early enough to be able to drop off their gifts on our last autumn visit (which is this coming weekend).

So it’s kind of nice, while I’m out doing my Christmas shopping in November, to have a little decor, a little tunage, to get me in the mood. Plus, I love it that so many retailers are having “early shopper sales” this week. Last year, I wrote this whole manifesto about how I was not going to early shop this year, because almost everything I bought in November went on massive sale the week before Christmas. I’m happy to say, though, that I’m actually almost done all my shopping (I KNOW! I am crazy!) and I got almost everything on sale. Maybe the week-before-Christmas sales will be slightly better, but it’s not worth the couple of dollars I’d save for the nutty crowds, and probably everything I wanted that was on sale would be sold out in 30 seconds and then I’d panic because the perfect thing that I’d thought of and wanted desperately was GONE, ALL GONE.

So for my sanity and yours, early shopping is better.

I really like Christmas music, too. I love the pep, love the upbeat pop, love being able to sing along with songs I’ve heard every year for the past 38 years. The day after Christmas, Christmas music already seems trite and silly, and you need to put it away, so why not get it out as early as you can stand it the following year? Play it now, play it often, I say!

At least we have Halloween as a dividing line; although I did see a couple of retailers cheating by bringing out Christmas stuff the week before Halloween, usually we get until October 31 at least to pretend that Christmas isn’t coming. I wonder if it is the same in the States…do stores actually wait until after Thanksgiving to kick off the Christmas season? How do they stand it, only having four weeks of trees and Jingle Bells and visits to Santa?

Those nutty Americans.

Mrs. Jackson If You’re Nasty

On November 8, 2008January 23, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead4 Comments

The other day I was watching Don’t Forget The Lyrics (don’t judge me!) and one of the songs was I Want You Back by the Jackson Five. Totally awesome song; when I hear it, I MUST dance.

Warning: The following video is HIGHLY addictive.

Also, I must say, I totally kicked it when it came to completing the lyrics.

Afterwards I went to the computer and watched the YouTube video like, a thousand times, and I realized while watching the Jackson Five that I didn’t really know who else was in the group other than Michael — I mean, I know they were all his brothers but I couldn’t name any of them. So I went to the Wikipedia page for the Jackson family to learn about them.

And did you know that Katherine Esther Jackson, Michael Jackson’s mother, had TEN children? TEN. There was one set of twins (which, sadly, resulted in the stillbirth of one of the two twins), so just nine pregnancies.

NINE. PREGNANCIES.

Just in case that doesn’t impress you, she had her nine pregnancies over the span of just 16 years. The age gaps between her kids go like this: a couple of weeks short of one year; two years, five months; one year, two months; one year, five months; just over TEN MONTHS; one year, five months; three years, two months; and then four and a half years down to little baby sister Janet.

That is just SO crazy. Twice she had babies before her previous baby turned one year old. Most of the other times, her older baby was less than a year and a half. Gal Smiley and Captain Jelly Belly are almost exactly 18 months apart and I remember at the time everyone saying to me, “Oh, you’re going to be so busy! Two babies!”

I’m thinking Mrs. Jackson probably wouldn’t have had a lot of sympathy for me.

Seriously, I do not think I could have survived that kind of toll on my body. Granted, she was much younger and (presumably) more energetic — she had her first baby at age 20. But still. Spending basically a whole decade pregnant. It boggles the mind, does it not?

She’s kind of my hero. Just for having lived through it.

In case you were wondering, the Jackson Five were Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon, and Michael. Later younger brother Randy replaced Jermaine in a complicated record company switcheroo.

Man, I hope those boys are taking GOOD care of their momma.

Hole In My Head

On November 7, 2008January 23, 2009 By LynnIn TurtleHead5 Comments

On Wednesday I went to the dentist with Gal Smiley and I HAVE A CAVITY.

I freely admit I am being a big giant baby about it.

You’d think after all this time I’d be kind of used to it. I have terrible teeth. Each of my back-most molars has been filled twice. On the top, one of my second-to-back-most molars was lost to a root canal about seven years ago. The other second-to-back-most molar on the top has been filled three times — actually, it may even have been four times, now that I think about it — and seems destined to disintegrate any day now.

Compare these to Sir Monkeypants, who spent at least a third of his life skipping the whole dentist thing, and who has a perfect, unfilled, cavity-free set of teeth. But I’m NOT BITTER. Much. I just hope the kids got his teeth.

The last time I had a filling, I was just a few weeks pregnant with Gal Smiley. The hygienist at my old dentist’s office broke off part of one of my fillings (in the molar with the four fillings — probably she couldn’t tell what was real tooth and what was fake) and it had to be redrilled and replaced. The dentist (nicknamed “The Butcher,” and not just by me) didn’t want to fill it until after the Gal was born because he had this thing about fillings causing undue stress on pregnant ladies, but the broken off filling was KILLING me, so I begged him to fill it. That turned out to be a big mistake, because the filling (after the job was “finished”) hurt more than the original hole in my head, and after sobbing in Sir Monkeypants’ arms for 24 hours, I went back and begged The Butcher to do something, anything. So he filed it down and fiddled around with it while I was sobbing in the chair, and I’m sure the whole time he was thinking, “THIS is why I don’t like to do fillings on pregnant ladies, they get SO HYSTERICAL.” The end result was something I could live with, but which still aches to this day.

So I’m not too jazzed about the whole cavity/filling thing, even though I’ve parted ways with The Butcher (See you! Bye bye! Don’t bother to write!) and now have a very nice dentist who doesn’t have any scary nicknames that I know of.

But still, I am shaking in my boots.

I really hate the drilling. Of course, you can’t feel anything, but it’s the sound that is so awful. That, and the smell. Ugh, the smell. I’m shuddering.

But you know what’s even worse? The needle for the freezing. Man, that sucker hurts. It hurts so much, that I’m tempted to try the drilling without freezing — my mother always swore by it. This time, though, the cavity is in a really inaccessible place, between two teeth, and so the dentist has to drill right up into the centre of my tooth and then drill sideways out of it, and that sounds like freezing is probably going to be a good idea.

I’m also not so fond of the cotton they pack in there. It tastes gross and is very uncomfortable.

Oh, and the cavity is on one of my back-most molars, and in the past when I’ve had one of those filled, I’ve had to have my mouth clamped open with weird plastic bits covering everything. I just remembered that friendly little contraption right now. Boy, sounds like a big party, doesn’t it?

At least I’ll get an hour or so of child-free time. A little holiday for mom, if you will. Not quite as good as other famous “mommy time” events such as grocery shopping alone, or having my annual pap smear…but I guess it’s one thing to look forward to.