We Still Haven’t Left The House

I got an unexpected flood of work in the past two weeks, which is good, because I am a solopreneur and these have been tough, tough times for solopreneurs. I don’t qualify for any government assistance, but at the same time most of my work has dried up because people are scared and don’t want to invest in new websites when their businesses are in jeopardy. Luckily it seems the tide is turning, and people are feeling more positive, or are at least bored enough to give their website some thought, so it’s been busy.

But that means my plan to actually take my children out of the house has failed. I’m hoping to do some stuff on the weekends but that probably means getting up and getting somewhere early, and Early Is Not A Thing We Do Anymore.

I remember when the kids were all preschoolers, and everyone was awake at 5:30 a.m. and in our bedroom, in our actual bed, by 6 a.m. which was the earliest possible time they were allowed to come in. We’d all be up and dressed and have had breakfast by 7, and sitting around waiting for a museum or something to open at 9, and we’d be the first people there. It was always so nice and quiet! So deserted!

Now, despite my best efforts to fight the creep, my teenagers have slowly drifted into night owls. They have a lot of friends who don’t even get out of bed until the afternoon and then are still awake and texting each other at 4 a.m. I didn’t want that to happen but I’ve lost the drive to fight – what’s the point of waking them up at 10 a.m. every day, which I was doing when they were still in “school”? What have they got to get up for, to look forward to?

So now they’re all mostly staying up until midnight or even later, and then wandering downstairs for “breakfast” at noon, so getting them all gathered to go to Gatineau Park early enough for us to get a parking space that is within 10km of a trail seems like a long shot. But we shall see.

In other news, despite the fact that I am very happy that my family is safe and together, I find I have been craving alone time. I’m a super introvert and frankly I’m surprised it has taken me this long to feel like I am suffering from a lack of aloneness, but here it is, nibbling around the fringes. It’s not a crisis. It’s just a little nagging thing I feel sometimes. I’ve been spending extra long in the bathroom every day – I think it’s helping a bit.

And in other-other news, Captain Jelly Belly has a job! Is this a good thing? We aren’t sure. I pressured him into it – he’s 17 and I had a summer job from age 13 growing up, and I think it was very good for me, and I wanted him to work. Plus, what the hell else was he going to do this summer?

But of course, now is not a great time to be out there mixing with the general public, and it puts us all at risk, especially now that we have bubbled in Sir Monkeypants’ parents. Sir Monkeypants himself I think was not crazy about the idea but when an opportunity showed up – two of the Captain’s friends work at a place that was looking for someone to take a couple shifts a week – I pushed him to apply.

I do think it’s been good for him, although here I am going to confess that not only is he working, but he has like, the most high-risk job possible – he is working at a Retirement Home, which we all know is Dangertown right now. And he is working serving food at meal times, which has always been something we worried about for him due to his food allergies.

But hey, it’s work! And so far everyone is healthy! So we are running with it for now, but BY FAR this is the most dangerous thing we have done during the whole coronavirus madness, and it makes me nervous all the time, even though I was the one who wanted it in the first place.

Well. We cannot always know what the one true thing is, or the one right thing, especially in these times. But hopefully we will get out of the house in a safe way, and find the kind of care and alone time we need, and help others in need by sending in our teenager to work.

But as usual, life is a muddle and who knows what the hell is going on.

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