Stress Relief

Sometimes, I get so worried about something I turn it over and over in my head, like a shiny jewel I can’t stop admiring. I’ll wake up early and my mind will fly to the worry spot and I’ll fret about it for a while, then I’ll fret about all the sleep I’m losing due to fretting, then I’ll fret about my total inability to stop fretting.

Right now, I’m stressing out over a family vacation I am attempting to plan for later this year. I am not normally a superstitious person. But I am seriously wondering if the universe is trying to tell us something. Something like, DO NOT TAKE THIS TRIP OR YOU WILL ALL DIE.

It’s a big deal for us to book a family vacation – we usually save up and only go somewhere once every other year or so. So we dithered about for a long time before finally booking some flights to a nice, warm destination in the United States.

The next day Trump did his immigration ban thing. Also: my husband is Indian and has a middle Eastern kind of look. Fabulous.

Then, a few days later, just after I booked and paid for a place for us to stay, our oldest came home with an invitation to go for a week long enrichment program at a local university. Just GUESS what week it was. SIGH.

Of course, our first reaction was sorry kid, you can’t go, but he was so upset, and so determined to go he actually asked if we could just leave him behind with another family. So eventually we caved and paid heavy penalties to change our flights and our accommodation bookings.

And I almost forgot – or perhaps blocked this out – that while booking the plane tickets, I needed to refer to our passports to check the date of expiry… and one was missing. Totally gone, vanished, poof. It’s my oldest son’s, and it’s just gone. There’s no reason for it not to be with the others, he obviously used it to get back home the last time we travelled. That led to a declaration of a lost passport, two separate visits to the passport office downtown, a four hour wait when I finally decided to commit, and extra fees for the penalty of losing it in the first place. GAH.

And then just this week, I went to order some tickets and passes online for attractions we wish to visit on this trip, and the order failed, because our credit card was maxed out due to the flights and accommodation charges. So I went online to pay off that credit card, and accidentally transferred an enormous amount of money to the wrong thing on my list of online bill payments, and now a utility has several thousand of our dollars, and I had to start some sort of crazy and arduous process to get it back that may take 4-6 weeks, and in the meantime, we have to find some other way to pay our credit card.

Of course, I have never, ever made a mistake like this in 15+ years of online banking.

At the moment I’m pushing forward with the planning but I gotta tell you, I am losing a LOT of sleep. I can already picture us being caught up at the border and missing our flight; or making our flight at the last minute, only to have our luggage lost; or to find the house is full of cockroaches (apparently it has happened at this house in the past, OF COURSE); or to have someone (i.e. ME) break their leg skiing and have to manage the whole thing on crutches.

Maybe it isn’t too late to cancel? Sigh.

9 thoughts on “Stress Relief

  1. lvsconsulting

    I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT when stuff like that happens. I can never figure out if it’s the universe saying “this is a bad idea” or if the message really is “let’s see how much you want this…” LOL. Either way, have a great vacation! I’m sure it will all work out in the end. Don’t take your technology and then they can’t ask for your passwords…

  2. I’m in a fretting process too. Last night I fretted so much I only slept for 90 min. Sigh.

    You must go on your trip. It will do you all good to get away. Go check the expiration date of the passports though….I accidentally found out one of the kids is expiring in May. 🙂

    1. OMG, I totally forgot to include in the original post that when I went to check the passports (I needed them for booking the plane tickets – otherwise I’m sure I never would have checked) – one was totally missing! It was my oldest son’s, and it’s just gone. I tore the house apart looking, everyone else’s is here, there’s no reason on earth for it not to be with the others, but it’s just gone.

      As a result I had to file paperwork declaring it lost and then spend a crazy four hours in the passport office to get a new one, not to mention the extra fees for the penalty of having lost it in the first place. GAAAAAAAAAH.

  3. I feel for you. I just spent a year practicing mindfulness so that when those thoughts come in I can ignore them. They call it meditation but really, you just practice ignoring things over and over until you get better at it.

  4. Oh no no no no no. You’re not cancelling.

    It’s not the trip. It’s all the other stuff. Think of how much busier you are now than you were a year ago, two years ago, five years ago. Busy means stress, and stress causes mistakes and weird ideas. Totally not your fault, your brain is doing what it can.

    Take control of your brain. It’ll run around all over the place if you don’t discipline it like a small child. “Brain! Stop that nonsense!”

  5. I AM a superstitious person, and that would be enough to make me want to throw in the towel for sure. But then, as the person above says, look at all the other stuff you have going on – maybe the trip is the exact thing you need.

    My FIL passed away ten days before we were due for a trip to Disney World, which was paid for and planned for for a very long time. Frankly, I felt like us going would be the most disrespectful thing to do but my MIL insisted that we not cancel. I am so glad that we went because it helped us bond as a family, we had a great time, and after a fall of non-stop stress due to work, school, new schools, yoga teacher training, uncertainty around my husband’s job, and my FIL’s grave illness and death, we really needed to reconnect. It turned out to be the best thing ever, even though I was so reticent.

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