The other day Captain Jelly Belly came home and said his homework was to figure out what the word “ironic” means for English class, so he asked me to explain it to him. I did so as best I could, although I have to admit that ever since that Alanis song came out years ago I am shaky on the whole subject. One time I used that word in a public setting and everyone looked at me weird and said no, Lynn, that was NOT ironic and now I’m nervous.

But I do actually like the song, even though I know (now) that almost all the examples in it are not, in fact ironic. It’s still catchy, though. And the video is so cute and happy. And Alanis is from Ottawa, so I forgive her.

In other weird language news, I have noticed a disturbing trend among the youth of today, and that is the use of the phrase “so meta” to mean “so fabulous and excellent.” NO.

This has come to my attention via Clash of Clans videos – my husband and son are both big into Clash of Clans, an online networked video game, and they can sometimes be found watching YouTube videos of dudes in their parents’ basements building new villages (and, probably, making six figures per year doing just that). I actually decided around Christmastime that I’d join too, just so I could understand what they were talking about and I actually really like it – it’s kind of like the Sims in that you have to build a little village and then take care of your villagers and I know my husband died a little inside just reading that, sorry honey!

So just a couple of weeks ago they made some tweaks to the game and made this one girl in it, the Valkrye, super amazing awesome, not to mention adorable in her little red bobbed haircut. And in a few videos, online players have used this term, “so meta,” to refer to the fact that the Valkrye is O.P. (over powering, in the slang of about four months ago). And again I say: NO. Clearly they have heard the term and not understood it at all and just figured that the “so” in front meant that “meta” means “good thing” and CIVILIZATION IS DYING.

Sigh.

And in other-other news, I was out today buying Mother’s Day cards at the Hallmark store, and they had a Mother’s Day card for, seriously EVERY possible female person in your life. In addition to the usual For Mom and For My Wife and For Grandma, they also had For Sister, For Aunt, For Godmother, For (choose your own grandmother name) – where you picked a sticker from the inside to say things like Mom-Mom and Nanny-poo, From the Dog for Mother, For ex-Daughter-in-Law, and For ex-Mother-in-Law. Those last two, in particular, were so circumspect I almost took a photo, but the lady in the shop was already looking at me weird. But seriously, if Sir Monkeypants and I ever break up, as much as I love his mother I really doubt we are going to be lovingly exchanging cards on Mother’s Day, of all holidays. At best, birthday cards. MAYBE.

Still, I guess it’s good to be prepared, Hallmark. Let me know if those become top sellers.