We have been stricken down in this house by an odd bug where the older two kids and myself have randomly spiking fevers and headaches, and that’s about it. I guess it’s the flu, but I’ve had the flu before and been sure my death was imminent, and this thing is more of an annoyance than anything else. Every so often you get suddenly chilled and you lie down on the couch for a while with a hot bag and a Christmas movie until you feel like getting up again and making more cookies, that’s all.
The weirdest thing, though, is that the randomly cycling fevers have caused the older two to have very vivid and vibrant night terrors, the like of which we haven’t seen since they were preschoolers. The past two nights both have gotten up multiple times in the night, shrieking in literal horror, requiring a half hour of heart-pounding soothing to calm them down. Last night around 10:30 the Captain suddenly arrived in our bedroom yelling, “YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM THE BOMB,” and then he went on to accuse Sir Monkeypants of buying said bomb “LAST YEAR,” and demanding that “WE HAVE TO BLOW IT UP.” Usually at moments like this Sir Monkeypants and I work as a team to soothe and calm but for some reason I totally got the giggles so while Sir Monkeypants was swearing up and down to the Captain that he was TOTALLY BLOWING IT UP, I lay on the floor laughing. It wasn’t my finest parenting moment. In my defense I did much better a half hour later when confronted with a hysterical Gal Smiley, who was insisting we were “SNOWED IN! SNOWED IN! JUST LIKE MINECRAFT!” Yes, yes, dear. It’s okay.
Later I told Sir Monkeypants I figured it was the fevers causing the nightmares, and then suddenly I remembered the phrase “fever dream,” and LO, the English language made sense for once. It was a Christmas miracle.
In other news, I have become addicted to Starbucks Peppermint Mochas. Oh, how I used to smugly laugh at those with a Starbucks addiction. Every time I read one of those online articles about how you could save THOUSANDS per year just by giving up your daily coffee habit, I’d chuckle and count the thousands I’d already saved like Ebenezer Scrooge. I was perfectly happy with discount home-brewed swill, thank you very much! Then a friend of mine gave me a Starbucks gift card as a thank-you for some website help and I blew it on Peppermint Mochas and now, it’s DONE. Every time I go out I have to get one and I usually drink it in about 30 seconds and then start thinking about how I’m going to get my hands on another one. Damn you, Starbucks, and your holiday-neutral festive red cups. DAMN YOU.
I’ll be happy when we’re on to Valentine’s season as I find cinnamon heart flavour much easier to resist.
In other-other news, it has been a brutal month around here for the allergy kids. As an Allergy Mom you get very attached to certain name brands that are your go-to foods. It becomes second nature to just reach for the same products on the same shelves every time you go to the store. This year not one, not two, but THREE of our big staples have suddenly disappeared, and when that kind of thing happens, it is an allergy CRISIS.
First, I found out that Allan’s candy has been bought out by Hershey, and one of the first things Hershey did was shut down their candy cane business, which, by the way, was like 50% of the candy cane business in Canada. Allan’s were the only brand we could have as all other brands contain sunflower, and may contain milk and eggs, and Gal Smiley actually CRIED when I told her she may never have another candy cane, or make peppermint bark, again. In a Wonderful Life style happy ending, it turns out that Allan’s had a production partner – Spangler candy of Ohio – and Spangler still makes glorious, glorious sunflower/egg/milk/nut-free candy canes in the Statues. Then my glorious, glorious friend RheostaticsFan did me the huge, huge favour of ordering some via Amazon Prime for next-day delivery to her American mailbox, then drove down to the States to pick them up, and now for the bargain price of just $8 a box I have glorious, glorious allergen-free candy canes. It is sad, but I will likely be getting my own American P.O. Box purely for candy cane deliveries, but if you’d seen poor Gal Smiley’s face you’d do the same.
THEN, the brand of rice protein powder which goes in the Captain’s daily smoothies suddenly became totally unavailable at our local health food store, and I just about cried myself because WHO KNEW what the hell he was going to eat now. But I found some online (FitShop.ca, SHOUT OUT) and ordered it for next day delivery at $10 per jar cheaper than I was paying locally. So happy ending, assuming the company hasn’t actually gone out of business – in which case, I am ABSOLUTELY GIVING UP and feeding the kid a diet of exclusively bananas from now on.
And NOW, just today, I find out that Blue Diamond peanut-free almonds, another protein-staple for my kid who cannot eat milk or eggs or chicken or legumes, has suddenly vanished from the shelves of the Superstore and Walmart, where I used to just throw some in my cart from time to time in the carefree days of my youth. O Blue Diamond, where art thou? Why hast you forsaken me? Allergy gods, you are clearly against me this week.
Luckily, I just made two pies (apple and chocolate mocha), and there’s carrots and potatoes and meat pies for Christmas Eve dinner, and everything is going to be okay. Happy holidays, everyone!