I have developed a new pet peeve this summer, and it is this: the children never get out of the car.

We’ll be going somewhere, and I’ll pull into a spot and park, and they will just sit there, twiddling their thumbs, waiting for me to get out. But I want them to get out first, so I can hit the “lock” button on my car door when I open it. If I get out first, they will be locked in. And if I get out without locking the door, I can still do it with the keychain fob, but I have to wait for the automatic sliding door to cloooooose soooooo sloooooowly, so we end up gathered around the van like some odd van-worshiping cult while we waaaaaait for the sliding door to close so I can lock the car.

I mean, even if they just opened their doors as soon as we parked it would be enough for me to open MY door and then hit the lock button, but no. Lately whenever we park I have taken to opening my door, then barking at them to GET OUT OF THE CAR, then once they have (finally) opened their doors, hitting lock and getting out. But I swear if I didn’t snap at them every single time, we’d all still be sitting in the lot at some WalMart somewhere trapped in some freakish battle of wills over who is going to get out of the car first.

GET OUT OF THE CAR, children.


In other surly news, I have developed an old lady grumpiness towards kids’ sports teams that try to raise money by packing groceries at the Superstore.

It used to be that the cashiers would pack for you as the groceries fed through, and a few years ago they went away from that and now all your groceries just get scanned then dumped at the end of the belt and you have to pack them yourself. At first I hated that, always feeling so much pressure to PACK FASTER, but now I am used to it and I have actually come to like it. Now I can put everything in bins and bags exactly the way I want – stuff for downstairs, for example, all gets bagged together, while all the fridge stuff goes gently and lovingly in a big bin, fitting in like a jigsaw puzzle because I’ve bought the same stuff so many times I know exactly how to get it all in there perfectly.

So lately there’s been this trend to have hockey or soccer or gymnastic teams hang around at the end of the row to bag your groceries for you, and in return you leave a donation. It’s supposed to be some kind of treat but I get super anxious about the fact that grapes are being squashed by juice boxes and chips are randomly shoved in bags with potatoes and onions and milk gets loaded into a bag with (OMG) boxes of crackers in a puncture-waiting-to-happen situation. So mostly I end up basically begging them to just let me do it myself, or I grit my teeth and suffer through it, but either way I am actually LESS inclined to leave them a tip than I would have been before.

In fact, proposal: just ask me for a donation, and I’ll give you $2 to NOT pack my groceries. Deal?


Oh mylanta, I have become Maxine.

8 thoughts on “Cranky

  1. I LOVE packing my own groceries because (a) yes, the pre-sort (cold stuff, downstairs stuff, etc.) (b) getting back at the people behind me in line giving me the stink-eye for having such a big order (I will be through this check-out faster than you, for I am super-packer) and (c) I always think at least I could get a job packing groceries if I really need to.

    And, no, I don’t like random other people touching my stuff, to the point where I have a running battle of wills with the very sweet young man who helps people to their cars at my regular grocery store. He asks “Can I help you to your car?” and I say “Thank you for the offer, but I’m OK on my own.” The other day he waited until I was finished and said “There, you didn’t even have to swallow your pride and take my help.” He makes me laugh!

    Finally, they DO NOT let sporty children pack your groceries at my grocery store – maybe you need to move inner-city Lynn!

  2. With ya on becoming a cranky old lady. Current annoyances – the grocery clerk who parks his cart (full of random items left behind at the cash registered and need to be restocked) at the end of the lane where I am and then looks at me blankly when i ask him to move it while he’s trying to figure out the drippy bag he just picked up from cash #4 and trying to figure out how the broken spritzer cleaner bottle works. He literally said “Where do you think I should put it?” Um – between the obvious snarky answer that I wanted to give and the more honest “That’s not my problem” answer, I was a little stunned that someone could be so obtuse. Honestly, the whole grocery store experience is becoming a nightmare. That same trip, the check out clerk nearly toppled canned tomatoes onto the eggs. And she put all the cans together in one bag – I could hardly lift it! And the people who leave their cart in the middle of the aisle while they read every single soup label. I mean, the screaming kids are at least forgivable… Sheesh. Get me my cane so I can whoop-ass a few people!!! 🙂

  3. OH MY GOD ME TOO. About the kids getting out of the car thing. It makes me actually mental. They’ve been doing this forever, and hey, guys, we are in the garage at home, you don’t need to sit in the car for an extra three minutes just chatting. GTFO. What makes it worse is I have a minivan with sliding doors and I hit the automatic open button and they just SIT THERE WITH THE DOOR OPEN, NOT MOVING WHY WHY WHYYYYY.

    God, I had no idea how much that works me up but it does.

    The grocery thing – I haven’t seen that. What I have seen is kids sitting at the front of the store, asking you to buy raffle tickets. Now, I know this is curmudgeonly of me, but I hate this “selling raffle tickets” thing. I understand sports can be expensive. But every fall I get roped into buying raffle tickets, coupon books, chocolates, etc. from my friends. I don’t want to get roped into it when I just run in to get some bread. You know?

  4. bibliomama2

    I’ve never noticed the not getting out of the car thing – kind of afraid I might now. And having kids pack groceries is one of the top ten stupidest ideas of all time.

  5. ARRRRRRRRGH, yes. My kids never get out of the car either. Usually it’s because they’re reading a book or something, so I guess that’s OK. For a while I just locked the door anyway, and told them that if the door was locked because they were too slow, well, they know how to unlock it themselves, and then they need to lock it again. I think if I stuck to that really rigidly they’d eventually get it, but of course I don’t trust them to actually remember to lock the door – they’re still too self-absorbed for that. But that’s how you train them, I guess – you suffer through months and months of reminding them to do something until finally, it sinks in somehow.

    (We don’t have a minivan with a sliding door BTW, so everyone can manage their own locks.)

  6. We still get the cashiers packing our bags at most locations, but I find myself scanning the checkouts not for the length of lines, but for the type of person who is at the cashier. If it’s a teen or young person I know I will get superfast service which partly I love but partly I hate for the same exact reason you said above. Particularly in this heatwave. I don’t always have the cooler with me and it makes logical sense to me to pack the milk and the yogurt and the frozen stuff in the same bag so that it can keep each other cold. RIGHT? But the young, fast workers, it doesn’t seem to cross their minds, and I get twitchy when I see the eggs mixed in with the water melon.

    So instead I scan for the motherly type of cashier, the one that looks like she might have shopped for family herself and instinctively knows not to put the bag of chips or the loaf of toast bread into a bag first only for the potatoes or other heavy items to go above it.

    Last day of summer vacation. I am cranky and grumpy and can’t wait for a few hours of solitude tomorrow. Not bec the kids have been giving me grief, but bec we have all been home and together for a full 2 months and let me tell you something – too.much.togetherness.


  7. TiredMama1

    OMG, yes to both! They are not packing groceries for me here yet and now I am PRAYING that no one gets this ‘good’ idea from your side of the province. As to the whole door thing? Just another reason I got rid of my van… Sigh.

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