At the dinner table.
Me: So, how was everyone’s day?
Little Miss Sunshine, age 7, Grade 2: TERRIBLE.
Me: Oh no! What happened?
LMS: Sally* yelled, “SPLEDADO” in my face.
Sir Monkeypants: Spledado?
LMS: YES. It was terrible!
Me: Well, if someone is doing something you don’t like, it is a good idea to ask them nicely to stop it, or they won’t know you don’t like it.
LMS (with many emphatic hand gestures): I couldn’t, because it was RECESS, and then she ran AWAY.
Me: Well, maybe you could find her later on the schoolyard and tell her.
LMS: But by then she was crying.
Me: What? Why?
LMS: Because Beth* kept chasing her and chasing her.
LMS: Because I was crying…
Me: Because SPLEDADO?
LMS: Yes, and Beth was running after Sally to tell her that I didn’t like it, only then Sally cried, because she wanted to be alone.
Me: Oooooookay. So, it’s very nice you have a friend who will stick up for you. But in this case I think everyone was a little bit on the overreactive side. I don’t think Sally meant to hurt your feelings, she was just excited about recess, and next time, you should speak for yourself.
LMS: I COULDN’T! I was CRYING! It was TERRIBLE!
Me: Yes, yes, dear. I’m so sorry. And now, let us have repeat viewings of the videos to “Let It Go” from Frozen, and Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.” NO REASON.
Sir Monkeypants: SPLEDADO.
* Names changed to protect those who were got hit with the shrapnel from my perhaps overly sensitive daughter. Is there a lotion available that thickens the skin? SHEESH.