A Grave Tale of Woe and Spledado

At the dinner table.

Me: So, how was everyone’s day?

Little Miss Sunshine, age 7, Grade 2: TERRIBLE.

Me: Oh no! What happened?

LMS: Sally* yelled, “SPLEDADO” in my face.

Sir Monkeypants: Spledado?

LMS: YES. It was terrible!

Me: Well, if someone is doing something you don’t like, it is a good idea to ask them nicely to stop it, or they won’t know you don’t like it.

LMS (with many emphatic hand gestures): I couldn’t, because it was RECESS, and then she ran AWAY.

Me: Well, maybe you could find her later on the schoolyard and tell her.

LMS: But by then she was crying.

Me: What? Why?

LMS: Because Beth* kept chasing her and chasing her.

Me: Why?

LMS: Because I was crying…

Me: Because SPLEDADO?

LMS: Yes, and Beth was running after Sally to tell her that I didn’t like it, only then Sally cried, because she wanted to be alone.

Me: Oooooookay. So, it’s very nice you have a friend who will stick up for you. But in this case I think everyone was a little bit on the overreactive side. I don’t think Sally meant to hurt your feelings, she was just excited about recess, and next time, you should speak for yourself.

LMS: I COULDN’T! I was CRYING! It was TERRIBLE!

Me: Yes, yes, dear. I’m so sorry. And now, let us have repeat viewings of the videos to “Let It Go” from Frozen, and Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.” NO REASON.

Sir Monkeypants: SPLEDADO.

* Names changed to protect those who were got hit with the shrapnel from my perhaps overly sensitive daughter. Is there a lotion available that thickens the skin? SHEESH.

7 thoughts on “A Grave Tale of Woe and Spledado

  1. Dude. This is my son, too. On both sides, though. He will blurt out nonsense words. But he has the thinnest skin right now! Need that skin-thickener….

  2. Oh come on, am I the ONLY one here who sees that the shouting of SPLEDADO is COMPLETELY offensive and blameworthy? I expected more of you, Lynn. Hmph.

  3. smothermother

    Did you ever find out why SPLEDADO is so offensive? Is this a new thing on the play ground? I’m just trying to figure out the rules to Man Hunt. I don’t need a new crazyness introduced! 😉

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