Back when my kids were babies – especially the Captain, as he was our first – we had a few grandparent/parent clashes. Nothing major, but you know the kind of thing I’m talking about – a grandparent has some advice, you chafe under that because you TOTALLY know what you’re doing, and there’s tension until you both figure out how the push-pull of caring for a kid you all adore will work out.

Back in those days I made a few internal resolutions through gritted teeth about how I will be as a grandparent. Things I would never, ever say! Things I would never, ever do! Boundaries I would respect! Selfless assistance I would give! Oh, I’d be the very model of a modern major grandmother, I would, yes siree.

Then yesterday, in the car, Gal Smiley was talking about her future kids. She is thinking these days of having one boy and one girl, and she will name them Delgado and Princessa, after two of the dogs in Beverly Hills Chihuahua, which my mother gave the kids for Christmas, which I have now seen approximately 50 times, and remind me to add “no dog DVDs!!” to my list of Rules of Awesome Grandmotherhood.

And right there, on the tip of my tongue, without even thinking, was this: “Ooooh…really? Don’t you think some other names would be nicer?”

And WHAM BAM, I have become every other grandmother, EVER.

Luckily I realized right at the last millisecond what was about to happen, and managed to swap out my gentle and helpful suggestion with a more awesome, “That sounds great, honey.”

Awesome Grandma says: Welcome, Delgado and Princessa. Internal Grandma says: SHIVER.

Guess the Awesome Grandma plan needs a little more work.