So it turns out that my root canal appointment this week was actually just a consultation, where I paid $150 for an endodontist to poke my tooth with a frozen Q-tip and confirm that That Really Hurts.
We all agreed that a root canal was in order, but they couldn’t book me in until March 29. I was rather concerned about this because it meant six more weeks of continuous pain medication, after already taking Tylenol or Advil (or, I shamefully admit here, some of each) on a regular 4-hour schedule for three weeks. It was as if the groundhog saw his shadow and decided to spend the rest of his hibernation at the pharmacy.
I rarely take any kind of medication so all these pills going in me are having a noticeable effect. I’m simultaneously exhausted and wired, so I’m too tired to do anything, yet unable to sleep. I’m constantly worried that my insides are bleeding out and that I’ll have to go through some terrible withdrawal when it’s all over. When the four-hour mark rolls around, I feel it in my tooth, but also my head starts aching and I feel nauseous. I am jonesing for my fix – not good.
So I called over there yesterday and begged them to see me earlier, before I have to start knocking over drugstores to support my habit:
Me (banana creating gun-like tenting in my pocket): Give me Tylenol AND Advil! And throw in that packet of cough drops!
Pharmacist: Sure, that will be $12.97.
Me: Oh. Okay. Here you go.
Thankfully they had had a cancellation and could get me in for this coming Thursday afternoon, where hopefully they will make things better. Because when you have half your head frozen and spend an hour and a half with your mouth open so they can drill out all four roots of your tooth, what can possibly go wrong? After that, Tylenol withdrawal will surely be a breeze!
That’s just step one in the Root Canal process, though. They put in a temporary filling, and weeks later you have to come back to have it replaced. The temp filling tastes and smells like cloves and it’s squishy when you chew and generally gross. I’m looking forward to an Easter dinner of pudding and applesauce.
And then a while after getting the permanent filling, you have to have a crown put on, for a total cost of around $2000.
Still, I guuuuuuess it’s better than having a plumber come over to pull it out. Although…it sure would cost a lot less. And be faster. Six of one?