What I Think About At Yoga Class

Minute zero: I’m so nervous. That guy looks like he’ll be able to hold a plank for 10 minutes. And have you seen the rippling arm muscles on the chick next to me?

Minute Five: Look at me! I’m totally doing it! Hanging in there! Plus this stretching feels so good.

Minute Ten: Ow ow ow. But it’s good for me. And I’m right in there with the rest of the class. Hey world, check me out!

Minute Twenty: WHY do I do this to myself? I hate yoga. Why am I even here? Everything hurts. You want me to do WHAT with my WHAT now? AS IF.

Minute Thirty: I hate my instructor. She is evil incarnate. I bet she trained in a prison. I’m totally going to egg her car on the way out.

Minute Forty: Dear LORD, how many more minutes? How much longer? I’m going to die. Screw child’s pose, I’m moving right on to fetal position whimpering.

Minute Fifty: Hey, almost there. And you know what? I feel okay. My hips are freer. I may actually be stretchier.

Minute Fifty-Five: Ah, corpse pose. Sooooo good. I feel tingly all over. Yoga is awesome.

Minute Sixty: Head rush. But in a good way. I may come back next week. MAYBE.

10 thoughts on “What I Think About At Yoga Class

  1. Next time you feel that way, just breath into the soles of your feet, and give your spine the attitude of reaching toward the sky, and….

    just kidding…

    I’m right there with you for the 4 times I’ve done Yoga. I really should do more Yoga.

  2. smokingtoaster

    Funny! I can’t do yoga — my body was not made to stretch. Although, I do want to look like Ali McGraw at 60, and it seems like that’s how she did it, so maybe I need to reevaluate. Ommmm.

  3. I have never done yoga but I know that when I run…I think of what Im going to make for dinner, or the coffee Im going to have after my run, or even better – how great the sauna will feel after my workout! Mostly – Im thinking about food. LOL.

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