Halloween And A Recipe

On Halloween, I stayed home to hand out treats while Sir Monkeypants took the kids out for trick-or-treating.

(Aside: Every year Sir Monkeypants tries to convince me that I will have more fun if I just leave a bowl of candy on the front porch and come out for the trick-or-treating with them, but I just CANNOT do it, to the point where I know that if I even tried to do it, I would be so fretty about what was potentially going on at my unmanned house that I would bring down the whole night. Does this make you think I am a) eccentric, b) adorably nutty, or c) batshit insane? Discuss.)

Anyway, I dutifully handed out candy to around 150 kids (nice weather combined with new super-awesome Haunted House down the street at MyFriendJen’s house brought out a much bigger crowd than usual), and here is the kicker – I recognized no one.

The kids who live next door? No idea who they were. Other kids from down the street who have been to my house for multiple playdates? Total blank. Kids from my kids’ classes at school, who called me BY NAME? Absolutely NO CLUE. Kids accompanied by their parents who I am actually friends with? STILL didn’t get it.

Sir Monkeypants got home and he was all, did you see Kid X dressed up as Y? Or Kid A dressed up as B? And I was all, oh, is THAT who that was? I am an idiot.

So overall I feel like I am a) very, very old, and b) very, very stupid. I used to think I remembered faces. I GUESS NOT.

In other news, today I am posting a recipe for the first time in like, ever. I am a crappy cook and that is why I never share my so-called recipes online, because I do not wish to be responsible for mass poisonings that turn kids off of food forever. However, last night I made my first-ever whole roast chicken, and on the side I made these apple oatmeal muffins that were a) delicious, and b) screamed AUTUMN, and c) completely inexplicably, totally hated by my children.

So now I want you all to go out and make these yummy muffins, and then report back. I’m expecting either you will love them, and your kids will love them, thus confirming that my children are Pod People, or you will love them but your children will hate them thus confirming that ALL children are Pod People.

(Aside: The chicken went okay, although it did set off the smoke alarm THREE times, to the point where I finally just said SCREW IT, I don’t care if we all get botulism, I am taking the damn thing out of the oven. Now the oven is covered with grease splatter but the kids actually ate the chicken, especially Gal Smiley who ate like 1/2 pound of it on her own, so now I guess I have to make it again. With the muffins, because I am not a Pod Person.)

Anyway! Recipe!

Apple Oatmeal Muffins of Pure Deliciousness

1 egg (I use an egg replacer)
3/4 cup milk (or water, for those families with allergies)
1/2 cup canola oil
1/3 cup brown sugar, packed

1 cup flour
1 cup oatmeal
1 tablespoon wheat germ
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 medium apple, peeled and cut into tiny pieces (I like to use Golden Delicious)
1/4 cup chopped nuts (obviously omitted by me, as we are Allergy Central around here)

Preheat oven to 400, and grease a muffin tin.

Beat the egg, then add the milk, oil, and brown sugar. Whisk for a minute or two until sugar and oil are combined.

Add the flour, oatmeal, wheat germ, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon; mix until combined. Add the apple chunks and stir – batter will be very lumpy.

Fill muffin cups 2/3 full and bake for 20 minutes. Let sit for up to five minutes (or as long as you can stand to resist) before removing from pan. Enjoy warm for extra autumnal goodness.

19 thoughts on “Halloween And A Recipe

  1. Oooooh! I love muffins but I hardly ever make them. These ones look yummy.

    I could never just leave a bowl of candy on our porch, either. I picture some kid dressed as a convict running off with the whole lot, so that all the other wee trick-or-treaters have to walk away empty-handed. Then they would think we’re one of those houses that doesn’t even bother to give away treats! That just wouldn’t be right.

    1. Exactly! I just know we will come home to an empty bowl and I will fret for ages over whether or not it was doled out one at a time, or if someone grabbed it all. GAH. I am too much of a rule enforcer to let it go!

  2. I never go out trick or treating. I prefer to stay home and hand out candy and deal with my hysterical dog who thinks that all the doorbell ringing means end times. IT’S TOO COLD TO TRICK OR TREAT. Also, the kids actually say they prefer their dad to trick or treat with them. Because I AM NOT FUN.

    1. I am also the Not Fun parent. It sucks sometimes, but on the other hand, when I tell them I have boring blogging to do, they accept it as par for the course!

      Last year for Halloween we had snow, but this year it was a shocking 10 degrees outside. It was almost *pleasant* to be out – kids were still warning around at 9 p.m. Crazy.

  3. Moira

    I’m reminded of this from Swimming to Cambodia (one of my favorite movies EVER)

    “I can tell you about my new theory of Displacement of Anxiety. You see, if you ever want to do something…and you’re afraid to do it and you lack the courage, just take a big pile of money and leave it somewhere it can be stolen. Then you’ll be able to do what has to be done. Just concentrate on the money.”

    Of course…you’re likely not afraid of going trick-or-treating so this Displacement of Anxiety wouldn’t work to your advantage…

    1. So I think in this scenario, the bowl of candy *is* my pile of money. Next time I have something else nerve wracking to do, I will just leave a big bowl of candy on the front step to distract myself :).

      Putting Swimming to Cambodia on the library request list!

      1. Moira

        I have it on DVD. If you want to watch with company, I’d LOVE the excuse to watch it again. The first time I saw it was in the late 80s in a repertory theatre in London. I’ve probably seen it a few dozen times, but I still laugh every time. And get chills.

        If you don’t want company I’d be happy to just lend you the DVD.

  4. We don’t live on a busy street so we just turn out the light and all go trick-or-treating. We turn the light back on when we get home, and by 7pm most people are just heading out, and get maybe 20 kids.

    1. What is with kids? I often have fantasies that one day they will taste the muffins/pie/sweet potatoes/whatever and LOVE it, and then they will turn to me and say, “Why haven’t you made this ever day of my ever lovin’ life?”, and I will have the satisfaction of saying, I TOLD YOU SO ABOUT A MILLION TIMES, IDIOTS.

      A mother can dream, can’t she?

    1. We have a new big haunted house on our street that really pulls them in, and in addition, made everyone on our street really get into the spirit. We have huge participation, lots of decorations, tons of kids live on the street too. I just assumed everyone’s neighbourhood was like this – It’s a real surprise to me that some places only see a handful of kids. You should come out to our place next year!

    1. MrsCarlSagan

      I made these muffins this morning and they are full of Autumnal Deliciousness – everyone (even the kids!)is giving them rave reviews. Thanks for sharing the recipe!

        1. MrsCarlSagan

          Your kids are crazy (thank goodness they are so damn cute)for not liking these muffins…because they really, really schmeck.

  5. Eileen

    I had about 25 kids this year, twice as many as last year. One Dad came with his two young sons, ages two and three. The two-year-old walked right past me into the house when I opened the door, went down the hall, had a look round the dining room, came back, then went down the hall to have a look at the bedrooms.

    I couldn’t stop laughing. It took major coaxing from his Dad to get him out.

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