About a week ago, I cut my left hand while preparing dinner. I actually cut it twice.
The first time, I slashed my middle finger while chopping an onion. It was a deep cut and, as I have NO tolerance for pain whatsoever, I swore and yelled and carried on as if I’d severed my arm. Eventually I calmed down enough to bandage it up and soldier on with the dinner.
The very next cut of that onion, the VERY next one, I sliced open my left thumb. This cut was even worse – it opened wide and deep and probably should have had stitches. Even more horrifying, I had cut sideways through the nail, so any outward pressure on the nail (think peeling-an-orange type pressure) caused it to flex in an alarming way along the fault line, as if it was going to snap completely in half.
(I dramatically declared that that was it, there would be NO DINNER TONIGHT, but eventually bandaged up that one too and carried on, only without any chopped onion. SCREW THAT ONION.)
A few days ago, I was unloading the winter tires from the back of the van, after having had the tires changed, and one dropped right on my left index finger. The nail was crushed and now I have a black bruise underneath it that I know, from experience, will have to grow out. I managed to hold it together pretty well. For me, that means no swearing but lots of groaning and screeching because otherwise, no one else could feel my pain, and when I get a boo-boo, everyone must FEEL MY PAIN.
And then yesterday, I decided to take all the broken crayon bits we have around here and make rainbow crayons with the kids. I didn’t realize that my casual idea would result in an hour of picking paper off of tiny little crayon bits. I got so much coloured wax wedged under my already fragile left thumbnail that it creaked with the pressure and pain.
(The crayons turned out great, although a few of them do have a bit of blood in them. Only makes for a bolder colour, I say!)
My point here is that my poor left hand is in a terrible state, and you don’t realize as a right-handed-person how much you use your left hand until it is swollen and numb with pain. I seem to use my right hand a lot less than I thought I did – it is the hand of strength, while the left is the hand of dexterity. For example. I hold the juice bottle with my right, while I unscrew with my left. I hold an orange in my right, while I peel with my left (BAD idea). I hold dirty dishes with my right, while I scrub them with my left; I hold hot pots with my right while I spoon out food with my left.
An entire orange-peeling dish-washing food-serving crayon-label-removing juice-opening dynasty has been brought to its knees. I’m crippled, begging my left thumb to just heal, already.
STUPID ONION. STUPID TIRE. STUPID CRAYONS.
14 thoughts on “Left Versus Right”
Stupid is right! I hope it heals fast!
Yikes! Your poor hand. It’s like the universe is out to get it or something.
i cringed and screamed in pain just reading about the second cut.
heal soon my crippled friend.
OMG Poor you but I am sorry I laugh. Not at your pain but how you describe your pain. You are a master story teller 🙂
Well now, this is the highest compliment I have ever received. My grandfather was known as a master story teller – he was high in demand as a humourous public speaker at events and meetings. I’ve always dreamed of being able to do that too, but never thought it likely. I never once thought of my blog as being similar in any way to his stories…but all of a sudden, BAM, there it is! Thanks, Chantal :).
Ouchie! Those wounds take forever to heal too.
Hmm can you please share how you make those crayons? Sounds like fun.
Hey Betsy, there are instructions all over the web but here is what we did:
* take your crayon bits and peel them – make sure they are quite small, around 1cm long. Also make sure they are about the same thickness – those really thick toddler type crayons will not melt at the same rate as the thin kind and you’ll wind up with a mish mash.
* fill your containers with crayon chunks. We used silicon ice cube trays (the trays will be ruined for food, so make sure you are willing to part with them for this craft) – fill the ice cube sections right to the top with crayon bits. You can also use Dixie cups (wax-coated is better) – fill to about 1 inch high – or the plastic trays that you can buy at the Bulk Food store to make chocolates. You can fill with all the same colour, or mix it up for rainbow crayons.
* Put all your containers on a cookie sheet (lined with parchment paper or wax paper). Put them in the oven at 250 degrees for around 15-20 minutes (keep an eye on them – you want the crayons to melt but if they get too melty, the colours mix and you get a bunch of brown crayons).
Let cool COMPLETELY before popping them out (if using dixie cups, just peel them off).
I picked up some silicone ice cube trays at ikea once. They are long and narrow (crayon shaped). It was designed so you could put them through the mouth of an open pop can…but they’d be great for home made crayons. Linked here: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/60146194
These are brilliant! Both for crayon making (perfecto) and also for putting ice into pop cans, which is just TOO CLEVER.
And here I thought this post was going to be about the election 😉
I blogged about that yesterday!
keep an eye on that cut! if it’s a deep one, i worry about infections. this can be serious stuff. i remember Rosie O’D cut her finger fishing and got a staph infection aftewards. (that’s my TV memory). i always think about that when i cut myself, which seems to be quite often as well!
Sarah! I just visited your site and was amazed. Your photos are gorgeous! How is it I haven’t heard of you before? I love your style and your art.
i got you name from coffee with julie. i had the pleasure of photographing her family last year! (i think she would say some nice things about me too!)
i have never advertised my biz, so it’s just word-of-mouth….. but that has kept me very busy for about 8 years now!
thanx for the kind words!
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