Back in May, I was swamped with PTA work, preschool work, and wedding planning assistance. We were totally overbooked with extra curricular activities and I had reached the limit of lunch-making enthusiasm. I remember thinking, if I can just get through to the end of the school year, then our schedule will be lighter and I can finally relax.
But then the end of June rolled around and I realized that the Little Miss had a birthday coming up, and I still had a ton of stuff to do for Blog Out Loud. Plus I had another wedding-related party I was planning, and the preschool packages – custom made for each of 50+ students – had to be mailed out. So I thought, if I can just get through to the end of July, I’ll be golden.
And in August, my sister came to visit for a week and we sat for their kids, and we went on many day trips and a couple of overnight trips. I had a wedding shower to plan and the kids had to get ready to go back to school and I knew that if I could just make it through to when school started, I’d have so much more time to myself.
Then September came and I had another birthday party to plan. Everyone needed something to wear to the wedding and I had some signage to make. There was gardening and weeding and so many little errands I had been putting off until the kids were back in school. And I thought, I just need to make it past the wedding into October, and then the schedule will settle down.
But now I’m looking at fall on our calendar, and I see Thanksgiving, which I have done no planning for, and then Halloween, which requires three costumes. And after that there’s my Month Of Turning 40, involving three separate parties that I’m planning. And after that we’re into December, which means Christmas decorations, and Christmas baking, and Christmas shopping, and our annual advent calendar of Daily Christmas Family Activities.
So when are things going to slow down, exactly?
Now I know this all sounds like complaining, but I’m really not. I know I do too much and should learn to say no a little more often. But the truth is that I really LOVE all this stuff, it’s all just a crapload of fun, and I would hate to have to say no to any of it. It’s busy and sometimes even frantic but it’s all just been wonderful. Every single one of these events is 100% worth it.
But I am starting to realize that there will always be something on the horizon, the Next Big Thing, that keeps me from focusing on some bigger projects I’ve had in mind. It’s all the usual stuff that mommybloggers dream about — writing, photography, baking, design — nothing unique, nothing fancy, nothing that is likely to make me a famous millionaire. But you never know, until you find some time to try.
Little Miss Sunshine started going to preschool three mornings a week this September, and next year she’ll be in JK. It is time for me to start thinking about what I want to do when I grow up. I am loving being a party planner, a run-around mom, a live-in nursemaid, a math tutor and a cook. But I feel like now is the time to decide if I want more than that. Something for myself, something that leaves a mark of “me” on the world.
And if I’m not careful, if I keep waiting for that One Last Thing to be over and done with…it’s never going to happen.
I need to find a way to balance all the stuff I do around here for this household with stuff I want to do for me. I have no idea how to do it, but recognizing that the need is there is the first step, don’t you think?