Why I Can Never Get Divorced

I know people with spouses who travel for work are going to be bitter at me right now, but I have to confess that since the Captain was born – more than seven years ago – I can count on one hand the number of times either me or Sir Monkeypants has been away overnight. I KNOW. We really need to get out more.

So this weekend, when Sir Monkeypants went on his own to Toronto for a family thing, it was pretty unusual. He’s only going to be gone for 24 hours, but due to work and bedtimes and travel and such, the kids don’t get to see him for a full 48 hours.

And oh my LANDS, you would think the world was coming to an end. The weeping! The wrenching of clothes! The horror!

The Captain especially has been terribly sulky these past two days. About every five minutes he says, “I wish Daddy were here,” or maybe, “If only Daddy were here,” or perhaps, “I just can’t have any fun because Daddy isn’t here.”

At least ten times in the past 24 hours, Little Miss Sunshine has informed me that she loves Daddy much, much more than me. I can be third on the list, behind Daddy and her teddy bear. MAYBE.

Oh yes, I feel really adored.

At least I have my loyal soldier, Gal Smiley, who is and will always be a Mommy’s girl. But even she misses Daddy, because a) she has no one to take her bike riding, and b) with Daddy gone, I have to spend so much more of my time with those other two crappy kids who live here, and that cuts into her Mommy time, which is not cool, dawg, not cool at all.

So even though we have had a really nice time these past two days, full of treats and outings and junk-food breakfasts, the kids still really want their dad to get home, pronto. SHEESH.

As I was putting the Captain to bed last night, he was all sad and mopey and I-want-to-paint-my-room-black, and under questioning he admitted that he thought that Daddy was probably going to die while away, and never return, and he was going to be “stuck with me” forever.

And because I am a super good mom (yesterday, at least), I did not agree with him, nor suggest that a plane crash was likely. Instead, I assured him that his father would be there in the morning as always, and that his father was thinking of him and loving him and missing him, and that his father was definitely NOT going to die.

Then I went and had a big bowl of ice cream, because dammit, the ice cream loves me. It does too!

Sigh. See you soon, honey.

6 thoughts on “Why I Can Never Get Divorced

  1. You are a very good mother. My husband travels A LOT but I never feel bitter about people whose husbands don’t because I wouldn’t wish it on anyone — I don’t know how the hell military wives do it. Of course, my kids have been known to express inappropriate glee when Daddy is going away again because it means his spot in my bed is free and renting a movie from Rogers On Demand is in high likelihood. It’s me that worries about the plane crashing or death by bad sushi.

  2. Aw. I’m sure they’d miss you just as much if you were away. 🙂

    I’m the oldest in my family, and I used to have to babysit my younger sisters. I have one sister who’s 7 years younger than me, and if my parents were 10 minutes late getting home, she’d be screaming “They’re dead. They’re in a car accident.”

    I’m not sure why my parents kept TELLING her when they expected to be home.

    Anyway, my well-hidden point is that I think it’s normal from some kids to worry about what’s happening to their parents when they’re somewhere unusual.

  3. Betsy Mae

    Cute post!

    My kids cry when my husband has to go away, or if he’s had to leave the house early/get home late from work.

    My question for you is, did YOU enjoy any of the time to yourself while he was away?

    I hate when my hubs is away for work (not all that frequent but it used to be) but I won’t lie…I do enjoy some aspects of it like having my ‘free’ evenings to do as I pleased….watch what i want, sprawl out in bed or let the kids sleep in my bed, all the quiet in the house. I also grew to enjoy the easy meals oh and the EARLY bedtimes! Yes, my kids go to bed much earlier when Daddy is away, they just don’t know it.

  4. I can so relate to this. In terms of a hierarchy of affection, daddy is way up in the stratosphere with my girls and I rank waaaaaay behind the dog, but slightly ahead of immunizations.

    I may have made this worse when my husband was away leading a school trip and my younger was screeching at me about how much I suck and how much she missed her dadddy when I responded, “I know why you miss Daddy, it’s because he’ll put up with your bullshit endlessly and I won’t!”

    A mother-of-the-year moment fer sure.

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