The Naked and the Poop

Toilet training is going…okay. Some days we get the majority of pees in the potty, some days not; some days we catch the poop, some days not. But I’m sticking with it, because the dream of a diaper-free lifestyle LIVES ON. Oh, the places we’ll go!

Unlike Gal Smiley, who was completely unbribeable and only toilet trained when she decided she was good and ready, Little Miss Sunshine will do just about anything for chocolate. We have a big bowl of Hershey’s kisses here and I merely need to wave it in her direction, and she’s running for the potty. The other day I was cleaning out my baking cupboard and found some very old white chocolate chips. I was going to chuck them, but instead I showed them to the Little Miss, and whamm-o, pee.

It’s powerful stuff, this chocolate. It’s a good life lesson for her to learn early on. I raise my babies right!

The biggest problem with toilet training is the nakedness. Oh, how the Little Miss loves to be naked. At first it was cute. We were mildly worried about her getting too cold, what with the winter weather and all, but she seems to be a miniature microwave oven. Her toes are always nice and warm, and it was helping with the training, so we said, what the heck little girl, go for it. Rock on with your naked self!

But now, we can’t stop the naked. We’ve opened the floodgates, and the bare bottoms are rushing out all over the place.

At nap time and at bed time, we snuggle her in, read her a story, then turn out the light.

In about five seconds, she has her jammies and pull-up off, and is prancing around nude in her bed.

The first few nights, we went to check on her and found her fast asleep this way, like Lady Godiva taking a little break in a nearby garden. Sir Monkeypants got rather good at getting her back into her pullup and clothes without waking her.

But at naptime for the past few days it’s been naked…and then accident. oops. sorry mommy.

Yesterday the problems came to a head with a big old poop right there in her bed. All over her sheets. Her blanket. HER PILLOW.


So now I’m afraid to put her down for a nap. And at nighttime, we have to stand sentry at her door, listening for the telltale rustling of a girl undressing. No! Clothes on, Little Miss! Clothes on!

And that’s not even to mention the number of times we find a small, naked girl wandering into our room in the middle of the night, confused, with her round little tummy glowing like a full moon. The other morning I woke up to find her naked and sleeping on the floor next to me. Thank heavens there wasn’t a little puddle of something underneath when we picked her up.

Hopefully this is just a phase. Otherwise we can’t really let her go to university, can we? The combination of naked and chocolate-bribeable is deadly. We’re currently looking a basement cage, a convent, or medical school.

You know, just in case.

8 thoughts on “The Naked and the Poop

  1. Eek! That’s so unbelievably cute, particularly since I’m not the one that has to deal with it when it goes horribly wrong. I used to be the proud owner of the nakedest kids in town. The bums still bust out sometimes, but largely they’re a little more circumspect these days. It’s a little sad.

  2. CapnPlanet

    Funny. My brother’s kids were also known for the preference to go around in the buff. Obviously she’ll grow out of it; I wouldn’t worry about it except for the potty training part (which is certainly a concern, I’ll admit). Maybe compromise and convince her that she can go as far as the pullups but no further?

    Potty training is hard. I remember it took us like, 9 months to finally get our older son trained, definitely one of the longest projects we’ve undertaken with him.

  3. Oh the naked. My kids also like to get naked. All the time. I am in sweaters and they are naked.
    Man, I am throwing a party when the boy is potty trained and there are no more diapers or accidents. You are almost there!

  4. The Boy loved to be naked. I never got all that worried about it… she will outgrow it. (Though if you let her wander up and down the street naked I am going to take issue — specially if I have to watch her pee on trees.)

    Good luck. (Oh Boy learned to pee no problem took another few months for the pooping to get sorted out.)

  5. MrsCarlSagan

    Geez, that little miss is so darn CUTE!

    Since the chocolate is such a good motivator for using the potty, maybe she would keep her clothes on (at least in bed) if she was rewarded with chocolate for that as well? Or I suppose you could remove the chocolate altogether until she masters keeping her clothes on, but that could backfire and set back the success you’ve had with potty training so far.

  6. poop in the bed? shudder. we haven’t got that yet but you know it’s coming. i am very happy at our son’s laziness, because otherwise i think we would be going through the same thing. i’m sure there is a nudest university somewhere, where she can study the biological attraction of chocolate.

  7. We are in a similar boat – some days are better than others. We have not had poop in the crib yet, but are moving her over to a big girl bed in the next few weeks (she climbs out of the crib now!!). My little L is naked most of the time – and it’s winter, it’s freaking cold. I blink and turn around and her clothes are discarded on the floor.

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