Let me open this post by declaring that I am the Worst. Wife. EVER.
Last night we had a bit of a midnight ruckus with Little Miss Sunshine, and so we overslept this morning. By the time everyone was up we were running late for school, and Sir Monkeypants and I were rushing around doing all the usual morning jobs in half the time.
We made it, barely, and I kissed everyone goodbye and wished them a good day, then went to help the Little Miss who was whining about something.
Later I was showering while the Little Miss watched a show, and in the shower, I was reviewing my to do list for the day: grocery shopping, blog about pie, sort Disney photos, make a birthday cake…
OH. SHIT.
It’s Sir Monkeypants’ birthday today!
And I totally forgot! I mean, I didn’t forget in that I planned for presents and cake, but I totally forgot this morning, and didn’t even wish him a happy birthday! And his presents didn’t get opened! And he didn’t get fawned over as he so richly deserves!
I SUCK.
And also, his presents this year suck. I had two totally awesome gifts in mind, and do you think I could find either of them anywhere in the city? Anywhere in Ontario, even? NO. One of them he knows about — it’s a Wii Fit — and there seems to be some sort of international shortage. You can’t even order one from American sites like Amazon.com.
I am the kind of person who plans for and shops for birthdays very early (this comes as a huge shock to you all, I’m sure) and I’ve been shopping for a Wii Fit since Boxing Day, and there is not one to be found in the whole wide world, it seems. WTF, Nintendo? YOU SUCK AS WELL.
So on Saturday I went to the mall with the kids and I grabbed the first three things I laid my hands on as presents for him. I hate last minute shopping.
Also, I suck.
All I need now is for the birthday cake to get messed up — it’s a very complicated recipe that I have never made before — and that will complete the Birthday of Suck. It’ll be legend…wait for it…ary!
Anyway. Pie.
Last week’s pie was a gift for FameThrowa, since we missed her birthday (it was the day we left for Disney). I brought it to Ladies’ Poker on Saturday and I think it’s safe to say that it was a big hit — definitely the best pie I have made to date.
It’s a butterscotch pie, which was my Nana’s specialty, and this one definitely rivalled hers. I’m so happy!
Speaking of pies, did anyone want me to post the recipes I am using here? Or would you prefer to just marvel at the magic without the details, and pick out your favourites for the upcoming pie party? Let me know.
The butterscotch pie is another pre-baked pie crust pie, with a chilled filling. It was also my very first attempt at making meringue.
Here’s the baked crust:
This one turned out okay. I’m very happy with my pastry recipe, which at the moment is 1 cup cake and pastry flour, 1/3 cup lard, and 1/2 tsp salt, with no more than 2 Tbsp water for mixing. It rolled out great, but as usual, I had trouble lifting it off the counter — it was stuck down. Next time I’m going to try to roll it out on parchment paper and see if that helps.
Also I totally forgot to prick it all over before baking, but I did weigh it down with mung beans, so I guess that was enough to minimize shrinking. I used a piece of parchment paper to line the shell to prevent the beans from sticking, and I made the paper circle by tracing the pie plate with a black marker. Then I put the paper in the pie plate marker-side-down, so if you look carefully at this pic you’ll see a weird black line running around the top of the crust. It’s marker transfer.
Oh yes, I AM JULIA CHILD.
Anyway. I was scared of the meringue but it turned out to be very easy — thanks to my mixer — and delicious. Here’s the finished pie:
And here’s what it looks like on the inside, after being demolished by hungry poker ladies, and also a bit squished on the car ride there:
Overall, DELICIOUS. So, so good. The pastry part was awesome. I’m so happy with this one.
This weekend we are going to a chocolate party, and everyone has to bring something chocolate, so I’ll be making a Black Bottom Pie, which is almost exactly like the butterscotch pie but with chocolate custard in the middle. In addition, I’ll be making a chocolate cake (a special request from our hostess, it’s an award winning chocolate mousse cake I make). Along with Sir Monkeypants’ fancy birthday cake, I should be easily able to gain 25 pounds this week.
But it’ll be worth it!
TurtleHead 
Holy smokes, that looks awesome. Kinda wish your blog had a scratch & sniff mode. Bet it smelled & tasted sooooo good. Not sure what the taste equivalent of scratch & sniff would be, but it conjures up the notion of licking the computer monitor and that would be just too weird. Sorry, am I babbling? I’m just mesmerized by the pie…let’s blame it.
And yes–recipes, please!
YOU DON’T SUCK! You will have to make it up to Sir MP but you certainly don’t suck. Your pie looks yummy, I wish I could bake or at least like baking so I could attempt to bake a pie!!!
I can’t believe you couldn’t find Wii Fit, that’s crazy…it is good though so def worth getting at some point.
The pie was definitely YUMMY! Thanks for sharing it!
Happy Birthday SMP!
When you first said you sucked as a wife I figured you were going to talk about how you forgot to get your husband’s suits from the cleaners or something and he had to wear sweats to work this morning, and I though to myself “big deal”. But then you confess to completely forgetting his birthday this morning? And I gotta say, that DOES suck. I’m sure you called him right away and apologized and everything, but still…man oh man.. forgetting to shower your most loved one with birthday specialness before you send them off to their hum-drum day? Oh well. You’ll just have to make it up to him somehow. I’m sure you’ll think of a way and he won’t divorce you.
XUP, you are terrible! And funny! And terribly funny.
LOL, poor Lynn. Luckily I think a Black Bottom Pie goes a long way toward making an apology.
I completely forgot my husband’s birthday one year. I remembered while I sat on the bus on my way to work.
He has never let me forget it. I felt awful for the first year or two. Now I am over it and so is he. Sort of.
The pie looks awesome!
You sound pretty crazy busy lately so its no wonder you forgot to say happy birthday, but you are trying to give him the best day regardless, so cut yourself some slack!
That pie looks so good. Once the dust settles from the birthday insanity, are you interested in doing a pie swap? Could be fun to share the pie making responsibility…
Did Gal Smiley end up tasting the pie?
Oh please. Before 8 a.m. there’s a general amnesty on forgetting and not noticing important things. My husband could walk around with his pants on his arms and his head on fire before leaving for work and the best I’d come up with would be ‘have a nice day, hon’.
That pie is beyond amazing. I think I have to make it. There’s no choice, obviously.
As for forgetting the whole birthday thing, no biggy. You have a lot on your mind, and you’re human. Kids forgive and forget…and understand. :o)