My kids have caught the crazies. Quarantine us, stat!
Little Miss Sunshine has this new habit of dunking every bit of her food in her juice. Toast, crackers, raisins, apple slices, spaghetti with sauce…it all has a little juice added before eating. For flavour, I’m sure.
At least she hasn’t stooped to drinking the leftover juice-swill. YET.
Meanwhile, Captain Jelly Belly and Gal Smiley have developed a sudden, urgent need to be first at everything. I’ll tell them to use the bathroom because we are going out, and they both sprint to the toilet and drop their pants. Then, when they discover that two bums will not fit on the bowl, one ends up screaming and crying because they were not first, and the other ends up screaming and yelling their case as to why they were justified in taking the first pee slot. Then we’re inevitably made late while they both receive a lecture on yelling, screaming, pushing, shoving, and politely allowing our siblings to go first.
At least I haven’t killed either of them. YET.
Then today, the Captain and the Gal came home from school and were colouring while I made lunch. Sir Monkeypants, who is home sick, asks Gal Smiley what she has in her mouth. Turns out, after many threats to tell us the truth, it was gum.
GUM FROM THE BOTTOM OF A SEAT ON THE BUS.
Sir Monkeypants and I just about died from the HORROR.
And don’t think the Captain is an innocent. Oh no, He had some too, he just swallowed it before coming inside.
GUM. FOUND ON THE BUS.
Tell me this sickness has a cure, before I pull all my hair out.