Open Your Eyes

Last week, the husband of a gal on my ultimate team had a massive, unexpected heart attack. After several days in hospital, he passed away. He leaves behind a toddler son and a baby girl that will be born about a month from now.

We all feel terribly for our friend, of course, and we are going to do all we can to help her. But from a more selfish standpoint, this event has really shocked us and our circle of friends.

We comment all the time about how we’re getting old. We’re mostly in our late-30s and early-40s and that means grey hair, receding hairlines, creaky joints, and sore backs. We’re not so quick to heal and we can’t stay up past midnight anymore. We can’t eat endless junk food without developing stomach cramps and we now understand that those ads for eye creams and retinol-A are aimed at us.

It was funny, before. Now it seems really, really, real.

Sure, we felt our age starting to catch up with us. But most of us have very young children, and we didn’t really feel old. We didn’t think things like heart attacks happened to the likes of us. That was for a whole generation older. Things like high blood pressure and age-induced diabetes and glaucoma were for our parents. Or even our grandparents.

In fact, at our age it’s pretty common to still have both parents living, and maybe some grandparents too. To have someone in our circle pass away due to health issues is a major earthquake.

I guess I don’t really have many insights on this issue…it’s just that we all have been confronted suddenly with our own mortality and it’s a scary thing to contemplate. Now that I’m a parent, my biggest wish in life is to be healthy long enough to see my kids grow up. I want to be there for them for all the big events in their life, giving them love and guidance and support for as long as I can. I want to meet the people that they are going to become. I want to share their joy as they discover what their own lives are all about.

I wish. I hope. I pray. Fingers crossed.

6 thoughts on “Open Your Eyes

  1. i understand where you’re coming from. it’s terribly shocking when someone close to you passes away but even harder to accept and understand when it’s someone so young and by the sounds of it, physicially active. i am sorry for your loss.

  2. Oh my gosh…how shocking. I feel awful for your friend. I can’t imagine dealing with such a loss with a young child at home and another on the way. I hope she has lots of support to help her through.

    It does give one pause, doesn’t it?

  3. I’m sorry for your loss. But I get what you’re saying too. It’s weird how we change isn’t it? I’m with you I still feel like I’m 18, but I’m shocked when I look in the mirror. And yep, I want to last long enough to see them grow up too.

  4. DaddyoRandy

    I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your friends husband.
    I don’t know what to say except that it’s damn scary and you need to understand the odds:

    http://paa2004.princeton.edu/download.asp?submissionId=41285

    See Figure 1 page 13. Everyone knows that the average (median?) life expectancy has been increasing to the point where it’s above 80 years. Look at the curve – see how it starts rising around age 40. See how the full-width-at-half-maximum goes from about 65 to 90. Interesting and scary stuff to keep in mind when planning to live to 80 – more or less! 🙂

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