Today was Mother’s Day and Captain Jelly Belly and Gal Smiley (with the help of Sir Monkeypants) got me some lovely blue-purple flowers. They made me really happy and I love my little family a whole, whole bunch.

To celebrate, we decided to go to Denny’s for lunch, which is a little family special-occasion tradition. We always go there when friends from Toronto are visiting because there are no Denny’s in Toronto, and when we offer up the Denny’s for dinner everyone always says yes and it’s a matter of half hour at most before I’m face deep in a French Slam with a side order of rye toast.

But when we got there, it was closed! Not closed as in, the owner had a family emergency kind of closed, but closed as in, boarded up, blinds drawn, sign removed. Closed!

Farewell, stacks of pancakes with a lump of butter so big it looks like a scoop of ice cream! So long, huge portions of scrambled eggs that leave me drowsy with protein! Goodbye, oh you delicious hash browns, you! Sunday brunches will never be the same again.

I saw my very first “AAAA” license plate at the Loblaws today. It brought a thrill to my heart that only fellow license plate geeks can comprehend.

I also saw an “AW” plate, meaning that AX, AY, and AZ can’t be very far behind. So it’s only a matter of months, at most, before the first B- prefixes start showing up. I’m salivating in anticipation.

The 4-letter plates were introduced just before CapnPlanet moved to Californ-I-A, which I think, was in the summer of 1997. So it has taken just eight years to go through all the possible combinations that would have been available with the old style plates. It’s crazy how cars have multiplied, and become disposible, in our society. Makes me look at the hybrids as a real — and encouraging — future prospect.

For a long time I’ve wondered how to handle this traffic situation:

Say you have a major street, Main Street. And cutting across it is a smaller street, Small Street. Where Small Street meets Main Street, Small Street has a stop sign for both directions. Main Street traffic, however, goes right through (so I guess, it’s like a 2-way stop).

If you come to a stop sign on Small Street, and someone else comes to the sign on the other side of Main on Small Street, do you treat it with the same rules as a 4-way stop? That is, do you have to wait for the other person to go first, if they arrived first? What if you have an opportunity to go but, due to traffic flow, they can’t? Do you still have to wait?

Also, extending this to the 4-way stop scenario — if you are stopped at a 4-way, and it’s not technically your right of way, but you can go, and the person who arrived before you has to stop to wait for pedestrians, can you go ahead and go?

Hm.

Yesterday Sir Monkeypants taught Captain Jelly Belly that, when asked how old he is, he should respond, “Two.” Then he taught him that, when asked how old Mommy is, he should respond, “One hundred.”

Yeah, hilarious, buddy.

Garage sale season opened today. I went to about 8 of them this morning. No purchases but I feel the thrill of knowing that the stuff I need is out there, cheap.

Before last year I never saw the appeal of buying someone else’s crap. That was before our neighbours, Rob and Kelly, turned us on to the fact that the real currency of garage sales is kids’ stuff. They bought their son, who is just a few months older than The Captain, a sandbox, a slide, a picnic table, and a car all for a fraction of the price, at a single garage sale. After that we were hooked, and last summer we spent several Saturday mornings scoping for our own finds. Hell, we were up early anyway.

This year I am seriously on the prowl for a trike, a wagon, and a toy airplane. Any good quality girls’ clothes I can find would be a bonus. And it’s all out there, somewhere! I will find you! Stay alive, no matter what occurs!

One drawback of garage sale season, though, is that the line at the Tim’s drive through is prohibitively long. Made-at-home coffee just isn’t the same.

It never fails to amaze me how passionately people feel about the pre-breakfast versus post-breakfast toothbrushing. Sir Monkeypants and I are both pre-breakfast brushers and I didn’t realise when we first met how important that was, but it’s clear to me now that if we differed on this issue we would have no chance at a happy marriage.

I can’t count the number of people who are post-breakfast brushers who have tried to convince me that their way is “right.” The latest was my chiropractor who, granted, can be a little preachy as it is, but man, she just wouldn’t let it go. I had the same debate with a few of my roommates in university — not that I felt that my way was superior in some way, I was just used to it and liked it and didn’t feel like changing. You’d think I was a smoker or something.

I’m sure there are an equal number of pre-breakfast brushers out there who are just as dedicated to their point of view. But either way, we’ll be raising The Captain and Gal Smiley as pre-breakfast brushers. Hopefully this doesn’t open us up to prosecution in the future.

The Captain is at an age when he really wants to help out with whatever you’re doing. Yesterday I was changing Gal Smiley’s diaper and he wanted to lend a hand. Just as I got the diaper on, the timer went on the Mac and Cheese I was making for lunch. So I handed the Gal’s pants to The Captain, and said, “Here, put these on, will you?” and dashed into the kitchen.

The Captain was so cute. He tried really hard. His pants putting on method consists of holding the pants next to her legs, and chanting “Pants on! Pants on! Pants on!” over and over. It didn’t quite work but it definitely was entertaining!

Man, I just read that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are dating. Katie Holmes!!!

It’s times like this that I really, really miss Sidekick.

I just finished watching this week’s Desperate Housewives and since it seems to be popular with my extensive readership, I thought I’d ask y’all…where does everyone live in relation to each other?

Last week it seemed clear that Bree and Lynette live directly across from each other. This week it seems that Mrs. McCluskey (aka Laningham) also lives across from Lynette. So I guess Mrs. McCluskey and Bree are next-door-neighbours.

Mrs. Huber, I think, used to live two doors down from Bree. It seems that her house is right next door to Paul and Zach Young (as Mrs. Huber’s sister often runs into Zach in her driveway). So I guess the Youngs live on the other side of Bree? But that would put the Youngs between Bree and Mrs. Huber, and I thought that Mike Delfino, when he first met Susan at Mary Alice’s funeral, said that *he* lived right next door to the Youngs. Hm.

In the very first episode, Susan seemed to live directly across the street from the Youngs. I think Edie lives on the same side of the street as Susan, but a few doors down — possibly directly across from Mike. Are Susan and Lynette next-door-neighbours?

Where is Gabrielle’s house? It seems she lives a little ways down the street from Bree (at least), and directly next door is a nameless family with the little girl who blackmailed her. And do John and his parents live on the street as well?

I feel like it’s one of those big grid problems where they give you clues like “The person who lives in the blue house likes to ride bikes” and “The hang glider lives between the blue and green houses” and so on and you have to match everyone up!

A couple of weeks ago Entertainment Weekly had one of their big pop culture quizzes, and this one was all about the movies. I was like, “Bring it, suckers!” because I think I know a thing or two about this subject. But the quiz was really, really tough! I scored okay in the end but I was amazed at how detailed the questions were.

Here’s a sampling of a few questions. I chose these because all of these are about films that I have seen several times each yet still I didn’t know the answers.

What is the name of Tom Skerritt and Sigourney Weaver’s deep-space mining ship in 1979’s Alien?

In The Silence of the Lambs, what’s the name of the storage facility Hannibal Lecter cleverly leads Clarice to? BONUS: Whose head does she find there?

Speaking of Lambs, which of these actors appears in all four of the Hannibal movies: Manhunter, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, and Red Dragon? a) Anthony Hopkins b) Frankie Faison c) Anthony Heald d) Scott Glenn

what small town is George Bailey from in It’s A Wonderful Life?

What is the name of the all-girl band in Some Like It Hot? a) Sweet Sue and Her Society Dames b) Sweet Sue and Her Society syncopaters c) Sweet Sue and Her Society Singers d) Sweet Sue and Her Society Stars

What’s the name of the Amish clan John Book (Harrison Ford) is protecting in Witness?

Name the Three Faces of Eve. BONUS: Which two Eves “die” at the end of the film?

Listening to Chicago’s “Cell Block Tango,” what are the six keywords repeatedly sun by the merry murderesses?

I could go on and on but the baby is awake :).