When my kids were little someone (possibly DaddyoRandy?) suggested that we don’t play them kids-specific music — that we just play what we like, as we’ll have many years in the future where we’ll be restricted to listening to some rap crap of their choosing all day long. But my kids really love The Wiggles and Hi-5, and honestly, they are poppy and inoffensive enough that I can tolerate listening to them five times a day each with no problem. I think they love the music because most of the songs have actions that go with the words, and the themes involved — jumping, making animal sounds, and learning which part is the nose — are at a level they can understand.

But this past weekend, on my way to my dance show, I got a rare chance to listen to the radio in the car, and I caught a little bit of the Sunday Morning Oldies Show on our local soft rock station. I totally grooved out to the four songs I heard — Yesterday by The Beatles, Runaway by Del Shannon, Crimson and Clover by Tommy James, and Cracklin’ Rosie by Neil Diamond (the last one of my all time favourites).

All four of these songs were hits before I was born, yet I knew all the words to all four of them. The reason is that my mom was a huge radio fan and listened to a “classics” station when we were growing up, so all four of these are songs I’ve heard many times. Every so often at our house we’d have “DJ night” where we’d break out my mom’s huge collection of 45s and spin them on the record player and dance the night away. I love that old stuff and I think my appreciation of music in general is better, knowing what came before and what influences are out there on modern bands. Also it helps me spot a cover version faster than the youth of today.

So this experience makes me think that maybe I should be listening to less Wiggles, and more of stuff that we like, so that when our kids get older, they have the same nostalgia — “Oh, I remember my mom loved this song!” I wish there was a radio station in town that played better 80s and 90s stuff, for this purpose. There is one in town that does an 80s lunch but people are so unimaginative — it’s “I Ain’t Missing You At All,” “Everything I Do (I Do It For You),” and “Get Out Of My Dreams (And Into My Car)” every damn day. Songs like that just make me cringe to be associated in any way with the era. I think instead I will make a few mixes of some songs I loved as a kid — as well as some songs my mom loved when she was a kid — and play them for my own children.

In the car, when they are a captive audience :).

Today was the Big Dance Show and since I know you are all waiting with baited breath to hear how it went, I’ll put you all out of your misery — it went great. I expect calls from agents dying to represent me any time now, as soon as Sir Monkeypants gets off the phone. Everyone made it through with their pride intact and I didn’t make any major mistakes, and all my sparkles stayed in place and I had a great time.

Seriously, though, it would seem that fate would prefer it if I didn’t dance in any more shows. I left a little late this morning and there was, of course, a ton of traffic, and then about halfway to pick up FameThrowa, who very bravely came to see the show, I realized I had forgotten her ticket at home. So I turned around and by the time I was home again I was supposed to be at the theatre already…crikey! So I called and got her to drive herself, then I rushed downtown through tons more traffic and dashed inside rather late, cursing fate the whole way…

And then when it was time for our number, the music started, but it was really quiet, and no one else in my number apparently heard it, so me and this other girl, Lili, were the only two (out of seven) who actually went out on stage, and then we did a little duet for a minute or so before our freaking-out teacher convinced the backstage staff to kill the lights, so we could restart. Embarrassing, but actually it did help calm my jitters having had a little pre-number run-through.

Then it was all over and we hugged and cried and signed each others’ yearbooks, and swore we would be BFF again in the fall when tap class starts up. I really hope to see the gals again in September, actually — they were great fun, good dancers, and game for anything. Definitely the best adult class I’ve ever been in.

Tap class rocks!

About a week ago, Captain Jelly Belly broke out in hives on his face and they’re still hanging around in the form of a really itchy rash. It looks like he might have a new allergy but we’re handling it much more calmly this time around, since we’ve been through it all before and we know the drill of a) diet limitation, b) skin treatments, and c) asthma prevention that work together to keep him functioning like a relatively normal human being.

I was talking about his new hives with my friend RheostaticsFan on Tuesday (when she came over to graciously give us free babysitting, due to a tap dancing/ultimate frisbee conflict). She has a lot of food and environmental allergies too, and we were both saying how little faith we have these days in allergists and allergy testing. Back in September when the Captain was sick all the time, we thought all we needed to do was make it through to his allergy testing appointment, and they’d do the testing and we’d have all the answers we needed — a list of what to avoid, a list of what was safe, advice on how to keep it all under control. But our appointment really only led to more questions, when he tested negative for a lot of things that he seems to be sensitive to, and when we didn’t really get a lot of clear answers on how to handle his proven allergies due to the rushed nature of the appointment.

Overall now I just see allergy testing as a kind of guide or helper, but in no way it is a definitive answer. We know a lot more about allergies to food and environment now than most doctors, it seems, and we know much more about what does and doesn’t make the Captain sick than any doctor has ever been able to tell us. It almost doesn’t even seem worth it to take him in for his annual checkup, let alone rush him in for a new test based on this new rash, as we can figure things out better on our own through trial and error.

On a related note, I find that one thing that having kids has taught me is that doctors in general are just educated folks making educated guesses. In no way do I recommend not going to your doctor or not taking their advice. But I’ve learned that doctors don’t always agree, and in those cases, you have to sometimes do what your gut tells you is best for your sick child. And almost always, as a parent, you know better than any doctor whether or not your kid is sick or feeling different than usual — your own instincts are the most important. I really love our new doctor and I respect her and I would take her advice on what to do with my kids and myself in a heartbeat. But I guess I’m saying I don’t blindly expect doctors to just know all the answers…it’s up to me to take as much interest, if not more, in my own health and that of my kids. And when I do get some answers from a medical professional, it’s up to me to think about those ideas and make sure I feel comfortable with them, before accepting them as true.

Last night was the dress rehearsal for The Big Show — the recital at the end of the year for the dance school I attend. I’ll be performing in one 2-minute number with the other gals in my adult tap class. We have sparkly costumes and everything!

The rehearsal did not go well for me at all. First of all it took me forever to find the place, and then forever to find parking, so by the time I got inside I had 30 seconds to get my shoes on and get onstage. Then, during the number, my hair band fell out, and I missed a spin move while trying to catch the hair band, so I ended up facing the wrong way, and then I was totally confused and basically missed the last quarter of the routine. I’m right at the centre front of the stage so it was like, “Hello everyone! See me mess up in my sparkly costume!” Gack.

Then afterwards I sat on a step to take off my shoes and I sat in some chocolate, which is now all over the bum of my sparkly pants.

Thank God that the DVD they are making of the real performance costs $48. Now I have a real excuse for not buying one to show to my friends and family. Gack! If I survive the real show (which is on Sunday afternoon) I’ll definitely be going for a good stiff drink afterwards. In fact I think I’ll have put the gin on ice just in case, for when I get home.

Gal Smiley has a pair of pale pink pants that for some reason, are strongly resistant to the otherwise overwhelming power of Shout. It seems that every time she wears them she gets mud or chocolate or blood or grass all over them, and they never get clean, and now they are sort of like “pale pink with brown spots pants,” but since they fit her so nicely and go so well with some of her dressier tops I’m still keeping them around. I’ve put them on semi-retirement because we play outside almost every day now, and the call of the outdoors is too much for the pale pink pants — they are irresistably drawn to the only mud puddle in a three kilometer radius.

Today we had playgroup at our house and that meant that we wouldn’t be going outside all morning. I was planning spaghetti for lunch but Gal Smiley doesn’t like tomato sauce, so plain noodles seemed like a safe, non-staining bet. Since it’s raining and she has a runny nose we also weren’t planning any afternoon outings, so I bravely brought out the pale pink pants. She looked adorable.

Later during playgroup I was looking around for the Gal to see if she was doing okay. I found her at the front door with the big pile of everyone’s wet shoes and boots…dragging them one by one over her lap and smearing mud on her pale pink pants.

Nothing is safe anymore!

For many years I’ve played this game called Who Would You Cast?, wherein I cast famous people to play my friends, relations, and casual acquaintances in the movie they will someday make of my life. A few years ago I admitted my secret obsession to Sir Monkeypants and sometimes we play the game together (he is so totally Kevin Costner, by the way). It’s a lot of fun but it’s dangerous to share your thoughts with your actual friends. They always pressure you for immediate suggestions of who will be playing them, and it’s really hard to find just the perfect casting on the spot. It takes lots of thought to find just the right mix of close-enough looks with close-enough personality, usually hitting in a moment of inspiration, and the skill can’t be used on demand. It’s kind of like being psychic.

Plus, there was this one time I was overly excited at having an evening away from the kids, and I was rather drunk with fatigue, so at a party I told my friend Derek that in a movie about him, he should totally be played by Ray Romano, which trust me is ideal casting, but he wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea. I think we’re okay now but every time we get together I can tell he’s thinking, “Ray Romano? SERIOUSLY?” in the back of his mind.

It’s much harder to cast yourself than your friends. For ages I’ve said that I want Laura Linney to play me. She’s obviously much more gorgeous but she’s sort of a “Hollywoodized” version of me, and I think she’d perfectly capture two of my key qualities — emotional brittleness and a high-strung temperament. When I was in high school and Growing Pains was a hit TV show, many people told me I looked like Tracey Gold, and I can totally see that, but since this will be a major production with serious marketing behind it, I think they need a bigger name. Although, come to think of it, I once wrote an article about how the name “Lynn” is surprisingly common as the name of the heroine in movies-of-the-week, something Tracey has some skill at. What the hell, I’ll let her come in and read for the part.

If they ever make a movie about Young TurtleHead, though, I think the part should go to Tina Majorino, who plays geeky Mac on Veronica Mars. Looks-wise I think she’s the closest Hollywood has to offer, and on VM, she’s just so cool, I think she could capture my inner coolness.

(Look very very closely…it’s there somewhere!)

Who would play you?

So TomKat (gack) is back on the town — Tom Cruise took Katie Holmes to one of the MI3 premieres this past weekend, just 16 days after she gave “birth” to their “daughter.” Already gossip columnists are pointing out how slim she looks, and how that only encourages more people to think that she was never really pregnant and it’s all some sort of scam.

I think it’s kind of sad that, a few years from now, Katie could write a tell-all biography and I would totally believe anything and everything she had to say about Tom Cruise. She was kept drugged and semi-conscious the whole pregnancy? I believe it. She was made to sleep in a hyperbaric chamber and wasn’t allowed to use the phone unless wearing a medical mask? I believe it. Post-birth, the baby was taken away from her and she could only see it for one hour a day, so the baby would bond more with Tom than Katie? I believe it. Tom organised daily chanting sessions in which the baby was worshipped and offered blood sacrifices? I believe it.

I’ve never liked Tom Cruise but even I feel sad that it’s come to this. Soon he’ll be some sort of freak of legend like Howard Hughes or Michael Jackson. Fame and riches really are some sort of weird disease that eats the brains of people, it seems.

Last night on CBC radio they aired a documentary on the cocoa bean farmers of Ghana. Included in the show were these interesting statistics, meant to show how the chocolate industry worldwide is thriving: North Americans eat an average of 12 pounds of chocolate a year, most Europeans eat around 20 pounds per year, and in England, 5% of the annual household budget is devoted exclusively to chocolate.

Which leads us to the obvious question:

why don’t I live in England???

There’s just two episodes of Veronica Mars left this season, and so many subplots to resolve. I’ve been thinking about the finale a lot because it’s a very dense show, and it expects a lot from its viewers — to remember lots of minor characters who have only appeared a few times, to remember small details from several different storylines, to keep track of who did what to whom. I want to be ready to fully enjoy it.

So, for those who care,

First up, the bus crash. Who did it, and why? Some theories:

• Terence Cook did it, to take out Ms. Dumas and prevent her from spilling the beans about his gambling problems. This is primary theory on the show, as Cook had motive and opportunity. But I think it’s unlikely to be the answer — why try to kill Ms. Dumas when he knew her manuscript was out there somewhere? Plus, how did he learn to build a bomb and hide it in a baseball? A sub-theory to this one is that Jackie did it, to protect her dad — but I find it even more unlikely that a teenager could figure out how to build a bomb and plant it on just the right bus at just the right time.
• Aaron Echolls did it (via Curly Moran), to take out Veronica. Again, unlikely, as taking out Veronica wouldn’t stop the case against him, and we recently learned that Logan was supposed to be on the trip too, so I doubt Aaron would take out his own son. But if it wasn’t Aaron, why did Curly’s dead body have VERONICA MARS written on his hand? And why was he laying flowers at the bus crash site just before his death?
• Woody Goodman, the mayor, did it. He certainly seems fishy and has many secrets…but why? Was he trying to take out Meg, because he is the other person she slept with besides Duncan? Was he going to be the “outing of all outings” that the gay kid on the bus said he was just about to make? Since he was on the phone with Gia just before the crash, and had access to explosives from the stadium site, and warned Gia to find another way home rather than the bus, it seems like he is a real suspect but I don’t know why.
• Kendall Casablancas did it, to take out both Dick and Beaver, and collect the insurance money. Could be…but I think she could have found a way to kill them both in a more reliable fashion…maybe?
• The Fitzpatricks did it, to take out the PCHer who was on the bus (Cervando), who was talking big about stealing from them. They’re so evil I feel they must be involved somehow.

That’s all my bus crash theories for now. Other things I want answered:

• Who will wrest control of Beaver’s new company — Beaver or Kendall? Are their investments really worth anything?
• Why did Beaver break up with Mac? Is there a dark story lurking behind there?
• Why was Lucky stalking Woody and Gia?
• Will Meg’s parents pay for the way they are treating their daughters?
• What did Aaron want with Cliff’s briefcase? If he is trying to frame Duncan and/or Logan, how did he get Lilly’s blood to put on that buried Oscar? Will the framing work?
• Will Veronica win the Kane scholarship? If so, where will she go to college?
• Who called Weevil and the other PCHers, to tell them that Curly Moran was the one who caused the bus crash? Did they want the PCHers to kill him, as part of a coverup?

There’s probably a hundred other things to cover, but that’s all I can think of for now. I’m looking forward to the conclusion!

Captain Jelly Belly will be starting preschool in the fall, and Gal Smiley will be going the year after that, so although it’s still early we are starting to think about me going back to work. When I took the time off to be with the kids I knew it would be tough coming back — in the high tech industry it’s so easy to lose your contacts and your skills, and new technologies are coming along all the time and when you’re not keeping up to date, you’re quickly obsolete as a designer. So either I’ll have to spend some time on my own, or even in courses, brushing up my coding skills, or I can take this as an opportunity to consider training for a completely new career.

Here are some occupations I would love to have:

1. Traffic Flow Modeller
2. Book Rebinder and Repairer
3. Doctor (but sadly, unlikely to happen as I’ll never afford the tuition or the time — if only I could live life over!)
4. Oscar-winning Screenwriter
5. Best-selling Author
6. Child Nutritionist
7. Seamstress (not a designer — I don’t care about inventing art, just the mechanics of making it happen)
8. Member of Hi-5 (maybe they could change their name to Hi-6?)
9. Governor General of Canada
10. Anything that will have me at CBC Radio — research, copywriter, on-air personality, CEO
11. Newspaper/magazine Movie Reviewer

So many choices! Good thing I have a year or so to decide.