It’s almost time for the new TV season to start, and I’ve been seeing tons of ads for the return of Heroes (September 22 on NBC!). I’ve been a faithful watcher of Heroes since the start, and I’m sure I’ll tune in for the season premiere.

But I do find I can’t quite muster up the same enthusiasm for the show since I read that Milo Ventimiglia, who plays Peter, is dating Hayden Panettiere, who plays Claire.

He’s 31, she just turned 19 this week. They announced their relationship last year at her 18th birthday party. I’m going to assume that they did not just hook up that very evening, meaning, they’ve been a couple since she was 17.

SEVENTEEN.

I used to have a real hang up about the older man/younger woman pairing that Hollywood is so fond of, both in real life and in the movies. I used to rant and rave about it all the time when I wrote for Sidekick. Over time, though, I’ve become more complacent about it. Maybe Hollywood is getting better, too — seems like there’s more parts for women past 30 these days, especially on TV.

But now I’m all up in arms again. I’m sure Hayden is all mature for her age and whatever. But if any one of my kids, while in their senior year of HIGH SCHOOL, brings home a partner who is almost 30, then I will have ISSUES. There’s such a huge, huge difference between someone who is 30 and someone who is 18. You absolutely cannot convince me that that is a relationship of equals, of people with similar goals and similar outlooks on life.

My youngest sister, LittleSis, is almost exactly the same age as Milo. I’m trying to imagine her coming over to dinner with a new boyfriend, who is EIGHTEEN. IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I have to think that Sir Monkeypants and I would do a fair bit of eye rolling. Then we’d struggle all evening to make conversation with the 18-year-old on an adult level. Probably while he was texting his friends, asking us for pocket money, and trying to scam some booze from our liquor cabinet.

Actually, I imagine that the hypothetical 18-year-old boyfriend would get along better with Captain Jelly Belly. Hell, they’d be CLOSER IN AGE than the boyfriend and Sir Monkeypants. Maybe they could play some Mario Kart together. Then LittleSis could take her imaginary child-boyfriend out to Zellers for a new school wardrobe.

SERIOUSLY.

I suppose Milo and Hayden are only 11 years apart. If they were, say, 40 and 51 it wouldn’t seem like a big deal at all, I don’t think. But 30 to 18 is just icky.

I hope the new season of Heroes doesn’t give them a lot of scenes together. Scenes in which they will play UNCLE and NIECE. Sheesh!

Speaking of speaking of the Olympics, Canada won a gold in horse jumping the other day. Did you know that the Canadian was bumped into first place, going into the final round, because the guy ahead of him tested positive for drugs? Oh wait — it wasn’t the rider who tested positive, it was HIS HORSE.

I have to say, when the horses are getting drugged — and having to have drug tests — does this not say to you that the rider is NOT DOING THE WORK?

Not a sport. QED.

In other Olympics news, I’m currently watching men’s 10M platform diving, and one of the competitors is a 14-year-old boy from Britain. During the synchro diving event, I remember seeing a 13-year-old, too. Why is there a minimum age for women’s gymnastics of 16, when there doesn’t appear to be a minimum age for other sports? It is on a sport-by-sport basis? That seems fishy.

Personal goal: Become head of International Olympic Committee. Right wrongs; become legend.

I’ve been given an award! I’m a kick-ass blogger!

Many thanks to XUP for the honour. Her blog is always thought-provoking and entertaining — check it out now!

Blog awards like this are kind of like chain letters, in that there are always rules that say you have to pass them on. So in accordance with this particular award’s rules, I shall now pass this award on to five other kick-ass bloggers that I love:

• Andrea at a peek inside the fishbowl inspired me both to find new ways to be environmentally friendly (hello, my beloved reuseable produce bags!) and to buy a fancy new camera to try to take pictures that are at least half as good as hers (which I am loving, best purchase ever!).
• Lissa at FlyTurtleFly writes some of the most beautiful poetry I’ve ever read — I’m not one for poetry in general but she never fails to move me. Plus she blogs about So You Think You Can Dance.
• Beth at Life. Not Terribly Ordinary. If I had to live my life over again, I’d be a doctor, and Beth is living that dream. But whether she is writing about doctoring or about her husband’s cooking, it’s always riveting.
• Beck at Frog and Toad is a great writer and always has interesting things to say. Her recipe blog and food column are good reads, too.
• Lastly, my good friend Sinnick is the guy that got me into blogging, and is still the first blog I read every day. He says the stuff that I think, only better.

Anyone interested in handing out or passing on this award can read the full details by clicking on the award icon above.

Speaking of the Olympics, Sir Monkeypants and I spent a large chunk of the drive talking about how the equestrian events and the sailing events shouldn’t even qualify as Olympic sports.

I think there are far too many Olympic events in the first place — the fact that Michael Phelps can be the best in the world at the 100M this and the 200M that and whatever says to me that these events are not different enough to actually warrant being different events, know what I mean? When someone at the track wins two or three medals, that’s a big deal, but it doesn’t seem to be very unusual at all to be the best at several swimming events. I should look back and see when was the last time that someone different took the gold in the 100M and 200M freestyle and 100M and 200M butterfly. I’m guessing it doesn’t happen very often that four different people take these four events.

But at least I can buy that swimming itself is a sport — the equestrian and sailing stuff seems to be pushing it. If Ian Millar can compete for Canada in horse jumping at the age of SIXTY-ONE, then not a sport, no way, no how!

And if sailing can be a sport…why not car racing? And if car racing, why not stuff that is actually directly physical, like “sport dance” (that is, ballroom dancing) or maybe double dutch skipping?

And why do they hand out medals for things like fencing and skeet shooting and archery and handball, but yet golf is not in the Olympics?

It’s all very shady. Time to do a little weeding at the Olympics, I think.

We’re off to visit the grandparents tomorrow morning. It’s an eight-hour drive (or so — before we had kids it was a five-hour drive; now, you just never know). I’m already panicking, despite the fact that I’ve packed pretty much everything in the house. Because when you’ve been trapped in the car for four hours, and your wailing child says she will only calm down if someone can produce her Polly Pocket doll right now, you better as hell be able to produce it, or else one of you is going out the window. I don’t even care which.

Anyway, we’ll be away for almost a week and after that I think I’ll need a few days to recover, preferably with a giant Singapore Sling in my hand. And a big glass of red wine as a chaser in the other.

So I’ll probably be a little quiet. Or a little slurry.

Either way…I’ll catch y’all up next week. See you then!