The internet has figured out I’m single again, so I’m getting a lot of ads now on Instagram and YouTube for dating sites.

But what I really want is a connection site for gal pals. Buddies. Hang-out friends.

How do you make friends when you’re over 50? I was at the grocery store the other day and saw a lady about my age, with tattooed arms (same) and a Taylor Swift concert tee (same) and raggedy greying hair like a Macbeth witch (same) and I was like, I want to be your friend.

I was thisclose to handing her my number on a card and running away but it was just too stalkerish and weird. No one does that.

It was probably naive of me to imagine that I’d get to keep all my same friends after the split, and I have lost many, and am still losing some, and it hurts more than I thought it would. I have learned that while I never wanted any of my friends to have to choose, for my own mental health I have done some choosing on their behalf, and that has meant more endings in a year full of endings. Every new leaving brings more tears and more mourning and more raging against the lack of light at the end of the tunnel.

And I believe I may have mentioned this but there is just too much new right now and that sucks too.

I know I need people, and that means new friends, and that means horrifying things like leaving the house and exploring new hobbies and speaking to strangers. Honestly, THE WORST.

Where’s match.com for making friends? I feel like Leslie Knope would be all over this.