Way back before we had kids, Sir Monkeypants and I invented a car game called “Dream Home.” We’d each take turns describing one feature that our Dream Home would have. It started out grounded in reality — my dream home had straight stairs and a finished basement; his had four bedrooms and one of those big bathtubs. Eventually we let our imaginations fly, and I added things like a conservatory and an indoor pool, while Sir Monkeypants wanted a room just to hold his bikes and another one for all his computer equipment.

Eventually we spun off this game to create Dream Car (mine has a mini-fridge and a bathroom; his has various engine-related special modifications that I listen to politely but don’t understand at all).

Recently Sir Monkeypants has revived Dream Car, both because he’s thinking of replacing our second car in a few years, and because he and Captain Jelly Belly can’t stop watching Top Gear.

The other day we were playing Dream Car in the car (of course). The kids are really into this game now, and they crack us up all the time.

(And then we have to spend the next 20 minutes explaining what was so funny, Daddy.)

Gal Smiley says that her Dream Car is big enough to have a whole house inside, so when you need a snack or to use the bathroom, it’s all right there! She would like it to have an “automatic” mode so she doesn’t have to actually drive it around, and she would like a giant mural painted on the outside of herself and her three favourite stuffed animals. Also, it can fly, and it would constantly play rock music at top volume (preferably The Killers or Tegan And Sara).

Captain Jelly Belly would like his Dream Car to be a Mini Cooper, but with giant monster truck wheels so it can drive over anything. It’s the fastest car in the world (while Sir Monkeypants claims that his Dream Car’s speedometer goes to INFINITY, Captain Jelly Belly says that his goes to AND BEYOND). It can crush anything and it is very good at fighting and keeps Captain Jelly Belly safe under all circumstances because it cannot be damaged by guns or fire or big rocks falling on it. It has a special little seat for his stuffed monkey Big Wheel, and Big Wheel also gets his own tiny Nintendo where he can play Star Wars Lego, but all the characters are monkeys. Even though it’s a Mini, there is room inside for anyone in the whole world who would like to come for a ride, and there is a special machine that constantly doles out chicken nuggets and french fries. Oh, it is filled to the top with all manner of Star Wars toys, each described in great detail.

I don’t really think I need to explain what was so funny!