So! Sir Monkeypants and I had a wee little car accident last night. It’s kind of becoming a theme for this year, don’t you think?

This time around, Sir Monkeypants was driving and the whole thing was SO totally NOT our fault. We’re both still kind of angry about it but I’m trying to soothe my pain with Halloween candy. Progress is being made but I definitely need more sugar.

I should mention that the kids were all safe at home in bed. We’d been to a dinner party and one of the twin girls from up the street were babysitting for us. We love them, the kids love them — this is the second time we’ve hired the twin sitters (there’s SO a tween novel series in there) and we are loving our newfound social freedom.

Anyway, so we’re on our way home at around 11pm and we come to the last 4-way stop before our house. There were already two cars at the stop — Car X at the front, and Car Y sitting behind it. As we approached we could tell that the two cars were not moving on, and there were a few guys milling about on the road. So Sir Monkeypants slowed down and approached very cautiously, because we did not know what was going on.

Just as we came to a stop about a car length behind Car Y…Car Y’s little white “reverse” lights came on. I’m not sure about Sir Monkeypants but I figured that Car X must be broken down, and Car Y just needed to back up a few feet to get around.

But instead, Car Y suddenly floored it and began to reverse at full speed.

Sir Monkeypants was totally awesome, he lay on the horn at full volume and tried to get our car into reverse too. But it all happened just too quickly and Car Y slammed into the front of us.

I was pretty shocked and angry and I started to jump out of the car while yelling expletives. Sir Monkeypants was also mad but has a much calmer head on his shoulders, so he ordered me to get back in the car immediately and not to engage in Angry Confrontations With Persons Unknown. He takes pretty good care of me, I must say.

So I sat my ass back down and Sir Monkeypants got out making his Angry Dad face. The young men who had been standing in the intersection turned out to be from Car X, and they all immediately hopped back in their car and took off, leaving the driver of Car Y to face down a mad Sir Monkeypants.

Car Y’s driver turned out to be a very small baby. Seriously. He turned 18 just a week ago. He’s had his non-graduated license — the one that allows you to drive at night without a fully licensed driver in the passenger seat — for just over a month. He was driving his mom’s car and had his girlfriend riding next to him.

When he saw Sir Monkeypants and his Angry Dad face, I thought Kid Y might pee his pants.

Sir Monkeypants had Kid Y move his car into the strip mall parking lot next to the intersection, so we could let traffic pass, and then he tried to get the kid’s information. Naturally Kid Y could not find the car’s insurance information or ownership papers, so we just took down his license plate and his license information and got his home address and phone number.

Man, I do not envy that kid the conversation he was going to have with his parents when he got home.

So as the boys were exchanging info — Sir Monkeypants was still steaming mad — guess who shows up? Car X and the four well-built 20-something young men who were inside.

They wanted to have a little chat with Kid Y.

From their conversation we figured out that Kid Y had been chasing after them (they do not know each other), driving too close, revving the engine, and generally acting like a dick. So the 20-somethings got out of their car at the intersection in question to tell Kid Y to knock it off, and he freaked out (as well he should, IDIOT), and threw his car into reverse to try to get away, slamming into us in the process.

So while I do kind of feel bad for the kid — he was like a scared little bunny rabbit — he really was acting very, very stupid behind the wheel of a car. And a good scare of this kind, along with a year or so of being grounded, will hopefully teach him a good lesson.

This morning my neck hurts like an SOB and it’s definitely due to the accident — hopefully it’s just a temporary thing. Our car seems okay, just a scratched bumper and a badly bent license plate, but we’ll have it checked out just to make sure.

In the meantime, Sir Monkeypants is really looking forward to placing a call to Kid Y’s parents later today.

Kids these days, Jesus! I need more sugar.